Twisted Games We Play
by ima nut so what aka pussyninja
Summary: It started out as a sick game we played, why? I dont know, it just happened and now its become very complicated. This fic was supposed to be a splashy but decided that madison needs love too. Mature content, rape, graphic language etc. Read or dont.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own south of nowhere or any character involved in the show.**

**A/N: Im not really sure where this story is headed but I think you'll like it, it's based own true events involving a mutual friend of mine, but not everything is true...just read and review please!**

**Twisted Games We Play**

It started out as a game we played, why? I don't know, it just happened and now it's become really complicated.

_She_ made my life living hell for 2 years straight, it's funny because we actually used to be really good friends when I first moved here from Ohio. Then _she_ found out about my secret and it all went downhill from there. _She _personally sought out to destroy me in every possible way, spreading my secret around like a wild fire, not a day went by that I didn't hear the whispers and_ her_ infamous "_queerbo_" which I found kind of funny because she can't call me a queer or lesbian since I have both. That's right, I Spencer Carlin, was born with both female and male genitals, which is why I was named the school freak. Many times, my brothers Glenn and clay and I came home with bruises and cuts because I was being bullied, and being the good brothers that they are, they tried to help. My mother decided to put me into self defense classes and after I showed Madison what I learned one fateful day, she never laid a finger on me again. That still didn't stop her snide remarks but a quickly learned to ignore them, and it helped having some friends like Chelsea, Carmen and Aiden to keep me sane, but I still felt lonely, until _she_ came that is.

_Ashley Davies_....I don't know how many times she saved me from myself but I loved her for it. She moved here about a year ago and we quickly became friends. I've recently been having feelings that relate to being more than just friends and I get the feeling she has to, the only problem is that she straight and in a relationship with Aiden. I'm pretty sure she's heard the rumors, especially since she's on the cheer squad, but she's never confronted me about it. Although she's mutual friends with Madison; she's completely different, she's kind, funny, very flirtatious, and she doesn't judge. I've wanted to tell her how I felt for so long, even now as we sit in her room talking about everything and nothing, but I couldn't and I won't because it's unfair to her and Aiden. So I'll remain the "friend", the one she can lean on when there's no one else.

_I mean it. I mean she could actually have a crush on you._

_Psst...the day Madison feels anything but hate towards me, is the day I become president._

_Hahahaha...that's true, but she's always talking about you at practice, of course it's the whole "she's a freak" conversation...but still._

There was an awkward silence.

_Sooo....is it true?_

I sighed...I should of known she would ask sooner or later.

_Yeah its true, whatever she told you is true._

_Oh..._That's it, that's all she's gonna say, is_ Oh!_

_So you're not gonna runaway?_

_No, I don't think I will....its kinda late anyways right? We're already friends._

We laughed...that's what I loved about her, no judgment.

_Can I ..ask you a question?_

_Go ahead, ask me whatever you want._

She beamed at me and clapped her hands, while I just smiled and shook my head.

_Okay, so....have you ever used it? I mean... have you ever used it during sex?_

_Yes, but I regretted it after._

_Was it a boy or a girl?_

_A girl._

_Did you...love her?_

_I thought I did, but she ended up being like everyone else. She freaked one day because her mother caught us, after that she spread rumors about me. That's one of the reasons why I moved here._

_What about guys, you ever date any or had sex?_

_I've never had sex with a guy, but I did date a couple that were curious I guess, but they turned out like the other._

It was silent again, and it seemed hesitant to ask anymore question. I watched as she fiddled with her finger.

_Jeeze Ash! Whatever you want to ask me, just spit it out!_

_Can you...can you like..get a girl pregnant?_

_I honestly don't know, I don't have testicles...that I know of anyway, but the doctors say I haven't fully developed so I probably could have some in the future._

_You masturbate right?_

I gave her an amused look.

_Do you masturbate?_ I asked as I tried to hide my smirk.

She turned away blushing, which caused me to laugh, and then she cleared her throat.

_Right...well...does anything come out of your thing? Is there a preference? like, do you prefer your thing over your poxy?_

Poxy? really? I just shook my head, I knew she hated using words like cock, dick or even penis..sometimes she was to innocent.

_Well...you sure are askin alot of questions._ I replied with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

_I'm just curious!_ she stated with a whiney voice and a pout.

_Righhtttt...well, sometimes "stuff" comes out of my "thing" when I orgasm with my "thing" Which is why I'm not so sure about the whole pregnancy thing. I don't really have a preference per se but it's easier to go with my "thing" since its basically hanging right there. It's also much easier for me to reach an orgasm, since I only have to pull on it to get a reaction._

I'm pretty sure we were both blushing by the time I ended that statement.

_Um, how does your parents feel about it? Why didn't they just have it cut off at birth?_

_My parents are very supportive, my mom thought about cutting it at birth, but my dad said he wanted me to have a choice, you know...be my own person. I don't know if I should be grateful or not, there's allot of people out there just like me, but they never got the choice, and now their probably scared and confused about what they feel. My parents know how hard it was for me growing up "different" and they love and comfort me whenever I feel bad._

_I think it's great they didn't decide for you...have you decided?_

_No, I mean I kinda like the whole ambiguous thing I got goin on. I mean, I have female features like breast and curves, but I also have male features, so anyway works I guess. If I did decide, doctors would basically pump me hormones or steroid, then do some kind of surgery...I'm not ready for that._

_So, is that why they called you Spencer?_

_Yeah, you know, it can be a girls or boys name._

_Okay so...._I looked up and saw an amused look on her face_. Oh boy._

_What do you think about when you masturbate? _She ask with a smug grin.

I felt my mouth drop momentarily, but I quickly recovered._ So she wanted to play this game huh?_

_Ash I really don't think you want to go there, you might hear something you might not like. _I stated, trying to hold back the laughter threaten to spill out.

_Why not? we've already "gone" everywhere else, so why not?_

_You really want to know?_

_Yup_

_Okay...I leaned a bit forward as if I was about to tell her a secret. I felt the huge grin plastered on my face but I couldn't help it._

_I think abouuttt.......nice.......hot.....wet....._I watched as she nodded her head dumbly_. Pussy!_

_The look of hope and amusement vanished into sheer horror. I knew she hated when I said stuff like that, and honestly so did I, but I needed this conversation to be over._

_OH..MY...GOD!....PLEASE DONT EVER SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN! _She pleaded with a blush and a smile.

_Say what? That I like pussy?! It's just pussy...especially the really tigh..._I didn't get to finish because she hit me with her pillow, causing me to fall back on the bed. She straddled me and tried muffling my words with the pillow.

_SHUT UP! YOU KNOW I HATE THE WORD P..P..P_

_Pussy? _I said with a laugh.

_YES THAT WORD! DONT SAY IT AGAIN._

_Well, you asked, so I told you...and what are you gonna do about if I don't stop?_

_SPENCER! DONT YOU DARE!_

_Puss...._before I could even try to finish, she began tickling me...my one weakness.

My lungs, cheeks , face, my whole body ache with laughter...I couldn't take it.

_Are you gonna stop? _She ask with an amused tone.

_!_

She didn't let up, and my stomach started to cramp.

_OKAY..OKAY OKAY...ILL STOP! I PROMISE!_

_So she finally stopped, letting me try to catch my_ breath while she laughed. When the laughter died down, we aware of our position. She was still straddling me and her shirt had ridden up, showing her perfect skin. We stared at each other for a minute and unconsciously shifted toward each other, when our lips almost met, the phone rang causing us to jump back. Flustered, she answered the phone and I took the chance to make my way to the door.

_Hold on Aiden, Spence?_

_I should be heading out...its late._

_Oh......okay..._I could hear the disappointment in her voice_. I'll see you tomorrow?_

Yup....Tomorrow.

That whole night, I mentally kicked myself. How could I do that to her?...To Aiden? It could'nt happen again, no matter how much I wanted it to, it just couldn't happen.


	2. WTF?

**A/N: Did you like it so far? Forgive me if I made any mistakes...don't know if I spelled poxy right or not, but it's funny.**

**WTF!**

**weeks later**

Things went on , like the "almost kiss" didn't happen and I was grateful she didn't bring it up. I did notice that Ash and Aiden seemed to be arguing more, which was weird because they never argued. When I asked Aiden about it he said he wasn't sure about the relationship, he said Ash didn't seem to be into it anymore and that he still had feeling for Madison, Which didn't surprise me since they had been off and on for 3 years, so I've heard. Ash said the same, basically she didn't feel Aiden as a boyfriend but as a friend and that if they did breakup it wouldn't effect their friendship, which was a relief by itself. They eventually called it quits, Aiden went back to Madison, why? I don't know. Ash confronted me soon after, told me how she felt, we finally kissed and now were officially a couple. We were doing fine until about a week ago, when I ask her to tell her mom about us. I knew her mom never like me but I didn't care, I wanted her to know.

_Spence please!...you know how my mom is....I'm not ready for that yet._

_So you want a relationship with me, but you don't want your mom to know? You basically want me to sneak around? I'm not doing that!...You know how hard it was for me to open up after...after the other! Your no different!_

_I am different! Spencer please!_

_No, you know what? When you decide to be truthful to your mom...to yourself, then come find me...until then we're through!_

I could hear her sobbing and calling for me, but I was so tired of being used and hurt, so I ignored her. Throughout the following weeks she tried calling me, and I answered a couple of times, asking if she finally told her mother. She didn't of course, so I continued to ignore her even though it hurt. Madison continued to annoy me with the constant name calling and the occasional_ "trouble and paradise?" _I found it weird that she could be okay with Ashley being Bi or whatever, but for some reason she needed to torture me, even when Aiden clearly told her he didn't approve. Then one day it happened...the sick twisted game began.

_**Fateful Day**_

I had decided to go with the "skater" look. I wore a red bottom up with black stripes, a pair of black skinny jeans, with my black and red D.C shoes, then topped it off with a black beanie cape. I assumed Ashley hadn't told her mom yet since I hadn't seen or heard from her in a couple of days, and I tried to avoid her at all cost. I noticed throughout the week that Madison would stare at me and when I would catch her she would glare. I thought it was weird because it almost seemed like she was checking me out, but that couldn't be right, I mean not only is she the straightest bitch in this school, but she completely hates me..or so I thought. It was almost time for Gym, and like always, I made sure I was the first one in the locker room because I couldn't deal with the whispers brought on by the "cheer bitches". Gym didn't start for another 20 minutes, so that gave me enough time to think and get ready before the other girls came in. I was in the process of unbuttoning my shirt and I was standing in my boy underwear, when I heard the door open and close, I turned around and was met with a fierce glare....._Madison,_ fuck my life.

_uhh! Just my luck! I had to come in here when the queerbos here!_

_Fuck off Madison!_

_Oh?.....What's wrong? Thinking about Ashley?_

_Fuck you Madison!_

_Whatever freak!_

She walked pass me and I could hear her undressing.

_And don't even try to sneak a peek...pervert!_

_Psst...Madison please! I wouldn't look at you if you were the last bitch on earth. You have nothing I want and you excite me in the least bit. I stated rather smugly with my attention fully to my locker._

_And besides, Ashley has....(gasp)_

I don't know how she moved without me seeing or noticing, but at the moment she was pressed tightly against my back and I could feel her erect nipples through my shirt. She quickly turned me around so I was facing her, and I notice the nice pair of langerie she was wearing. She began tracing her finger against my bare stomach while whispering into my ear.

_Sooo...you wouldn't look at me, like you're looking at me now?.....I have nothing that you want?_

I felt her lightly trace my ear with her tongue, and that set me off, I could feel my arousal growing.

_Oh?.....I thought I didn't excite you? _Her right hand grabbed my erection real hard, causing me to hiss and pain and in slight pleasure.

_Somebody seems to think differently Carlin._

_MM..Madison.....what...what are doing?_

_shhh...don't talk or ill stop._

_She should have stopped. I should of stopped, but I couldn't, it felt sooo good and I wanted it._

I don't know how it happened, one minute we were throwing insults at each other and the next...she's kneeling down , with Spencer jr in her mouth. I tried desperately to come back to reality but I couldn't, I couldn't even think of a complete thought as her warm mouth closed around me. With each bob of her head, she would grip my ass, forcing me to go deeper into her mouth. I was panting as I gripped her head rather roughly, but she just moaned, and I felt my orgasm building.

_Madison...I'm gonna!_

She stopped momentarily, but kept stroking me, then whispered_....I know, just let go. _Then she claimed me again with her mouth. With two more strokes of her tongue , I through my head back against my locker as I felt my orgasm spill into her mouth.

_nahhhh! _I bit my lip in order to muffle the moan that escaped.

Ilazily watched as she licked the tip of my penis, then she stood up and in a very seductive way, licked the remaining cum off her lips. That gesture alone made me cum again, but all over myself. I collapsed onto the floor with my underwear around my ankles and a very confused look on my face. I wanted to ask her what the hell just happened, but I couldn't even breathe...then I noticed the smug look on her face.

_hmmm....that was fun, we should do it again sometime. _She took my arm and rolled up the sleeve, then wrote her number down. She walked off muttering_ "call me"_

_What the fuck?_

When I finally came down from my high, I realized what I had done, I cheated on Ashley. I mean yeah we were temporarily separated, but we were still together. What made it worse was that I cheated on her with the girl that made my life hell, the girl I thought hated me. I felt disgusted because I actually enjoyed it.


	3. Madison:2 Spencer:0

**A/N: So i would like to thank Susanne for her reviews...I really appreciate it, and was having trouble deciding where to take this fic, but your right. I could do some chapters based on Madison's point of view...thanks so much!**

**Madison:2 Spencer:0**

I quickly cleaned myself and tried getting dressed as best as I could. I didn't bother staying for Gym, my mind was to fuck up over what just happened, so I decided to hide out in the bathroom the remaining period. I had to avoid Madison at all cost, which wouldn't be easy since I had another class with her after Gym. When the bell rang, I peeked out the bathroom door and when the coast was clear I made my way down the hall towards my locker. I began rummaging through the stacks of books, every once in a while looking over my shoulder_...this shit is fucking nuts, I'm being paranoid! _I barely registered the voice or arm that brought me back from my thoughts. I quickly turned around and almost knock_ her_ over, but luckily she duck just in time.

_Shit Carmen! What the hell?...you scared the hell out of me!_

She put her hands up as if she was surrendering.

_Whoa whoa.....easy there Tyson! Just came to see how you were doin......WOW SPENCER! You literally look like you've been fucked sideways._

_Was that really necessary Carmen?_

_I'm just sayin Chels....I mean look at her...her pants aren't even fastened, her shirt is buttoned the wrong way, and she just looks...crazy!_

_Yeah, I hate to break it to you Spence, but you are lookin kinda nuts right now.......did you and Ash get back together?_

_Huh?!...no!...yeah!...I mean...what?!_

_Okayyyy....she's definitely lost her mind._

_Oh hush Carmen!....Alright Spence, what the hell is going on!?_

_Look, I don't really have time to explain.....you...you guys didn't see Madison on your way down here, did you?_

_Mmm....not that I know of, why? Is she fuckin wit you? Cuz I'll beat the shit out her if she is!_

_What!? No..yeah, I mean sorta....Look I gotta go, I'll talk to you guys later, K-BYE! _I ran off before they could protest.

_Hey Chels, Carmen...What's up?.....Uh, was that Spencer? What's up with that?_

_Your askin the wrong person, Aiden._

_**English**_

I sat in my seat nervously, thinking about what happened and the possible "why's". I knew Madison would be here soon enough, but I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice Ashley sitting right next to me. She finally cleared her throat, bringing me back from my thoughts. _Fuck!....really don't feel like arguing right now._

_Spence? _Her voice was real low and I knew she was scared.

_What!?_ I whispered/ yelled.

She sighed and took my hand in hers, causing me to tense.

_Look, I know your madeand you have every right to be....I was selfish and im sorry....I miss you so much. _She took a deep breath. _That's why I told her...I told my mom._

_R..really?_

She nodded her head..._Really._

I noticed she looked a bit sad._ What happened?_

_She..she flipped out, told me I was just like my father...running off with skanks...but I don't care, I love you Spencer and I want everyone to know._

_I love you to Ash, and I'm sorry about your mother. _I gave her a hug, but I noticed out the corner of my eye that Madison glaring daggers at me, so I tensed.

_Spence, you okay?_

_Yyyeah....Im just so happy to have you back._

_I know, me to Spencer....I missed you so much._

I pulled back and we stared into each other's eyes, then I heard the teacher clear his throat.

_Righttt, well...whenever miss Davies and Miss Carlin decide to stop making "goo goo" eyes...then we can finally begin the lesson._

We both blushed and muttered our_ "sorries"._

Me and Ash did some catching up during class, all the while, I could feel Madison burning holes through the side of my face.....Awkward!

Throughout the week, I was doin a good job at avoiding Madison. I made sure to stick with small groups of friends, never went anywhere alone, and I started wearing my Gym clothes under my school clothes. She called me a couple of times, how she got my number is beyond me, but ignored each and every one of them. Unfortunately, one day I slipped up. I went to use the bathroom by myself(I felt kinda weird using the men's bathroom, so I always used the girls instead) I didn't even hear the door open or close, but when I came out of the stall, Madison was standing right in front of me.

_Well, well, well...What do we have here?...Why have you been avoiding me freak!?_

_Why have I been avoiding you? WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK!? WHAT IS THIS!? WHAT THE FUCK TYPE OF GAME ARE YOU PLAYIN!?_

She looked as if she was deep in thought, she look at me with eyes full of lust and desire.

_A twisted one......_Before I could retort, she pushed back into the stall, forced me down on the seat and began unzipping my pant, rubbing my building erection....I panicked.

_What the fuck Madison!?_ I groaned as she continued to stroke me.

Shut the fuck up!...and just enjoy the ride.

When I finally realized what she meant, she began hiking up her skirt and I freaked.

_MM.. Madison....what are doin? What if somebody comes in?_

She smirked at me, and I felt her warmth surround me as she straddled my waist.

_Sshh._.she moaned... _don't worry, I locked it.....just go with it._

I gasped and moaned as she began rocking back and forth, causing me to grip her hips very tightly, it was slow at firsts but she began picking up the pace. She felt so good, I mean, she was so wet and oh so tight, which I found really surprising. She smelt really good to, and for some reason I really wanted to touch her in "other" places, and I guess she figured that because she started begging me, while pulling on my hair and sucking on my neck.

_Touch me Spencer, I want you to....GOD! Just fucking touch me!_

So I did, I mean, I'm already committing a crime, I might as well commit murder to. I opened her shirt, unclasped her bra and began sucking and groping her breast. Her moans and groans only fueled my desire to please her, and I began to feel that familiar tightening in my groin.

_FUCK SPENCER!....DONT STOP!...YOU FEEL SO FUCKING GOOD!_

Our rhyme was in sync and with a couple of more thrust, I felt her clamp down, sending us both over the edge. I buried my head in her chest, trying to muffle my moans.

_FUCK!!!._.._We said in unison._

When we finally came down, she un-straddled me, straightened her clothes, then leaned down and tongued the shit out of me. It took me a while to respond since I was still dazed, but when I tried to return the kiss, she pulled back and slap me hard across my face.

_OUCH! WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?_

_Did I say you could touch me freak!?_

_WHAT!?_ I was totally confused, one minute she's begging me to fuck her, and then she turns around and slaps me? WTF_!? This bitch is totally bipolar!_

_WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? YOU TOLD ME TO!...YOUR THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS SHIT!_

She didn't answer, just shrugged and left me sitting there, confused, sore and dumb.

_WHAT....THE...FUCK!?_


	4. Porcelain

**A/N: This chapter is kinda filthy, rape is implied so you're forewarned….again, it was the only direction I could think of but I think you might like it. Thanks again for the reviews could use some more but, hey!**

**Porcelain **

So…..I sat there, I don't know how long I sat there, but I just sat there feeling so disgusted with myself. I didn't know what this situation with Madison meant. I thought she hated me; she made that quite clear for the past 2 years, but then why? Why was she doing this? Was it her way of trying to ruin my life even more? Was she trying to fuck with my head? If so, she was doing a really good job. I was angry and disgusted because I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it, but I was so wrapped up in my emotions that I didn't hear the door open. I was so zoned out that when the person spoke, I nearly fell over the toilet.

_Spence?_

It was Ashley; she was staring at me with a confused look on her face. She moved forward and for some reason she became really flushed, then I realized that I was still naked from the waist down, sitting on top of the toilet seat.

_Spencer…what are doing in here?... I was waiting for you at lunch but never showed up, is everything okay?_

I just stared at her, she was so beautiful, so innocent, and I didn't deserve her. My mind kept replaying the events that just took place, and I felt my resolve crumbling. I wanted to tell her but I couldn't, I didn't want to lose her. I felt something wet on my cheek; I didn't even realize I was crying.

_Spencer?.....Baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?_

She leaned forward and took my face into her hands, wiping away my tears. The tears kept flowing and I couldn't look at her not after what I had done. I didn't know what to say or do, so I just leaned into her stomach, clutching and sobbing.

_Spencer baby, please…..your scaring me…. Talk to me, tell me what's going on. _Shewhispered as she stroked my hair.

_Just let me stay like this for a while…..Just…..just_ …I couldn't finish, my words were being choked out by my sobs.

After about 5 minutes, my tears subsided, but I couldn't stop thinking about _her, _and I hated it, I needed to forget….I needed Ashley.

_Ash…..I need you._

She went stiff, and the grip she held on my shoulder tightened a bit.

_Spencer…I….I can't….we can't….. im...I'm not ready._

I buried my face against the exposed flesh of her stomach (she wore a baby tank top) and inhaled deeply, while the hands that were on her hips slowly started to descend under her mini skirt. She sucked in a breath of air and let out a small moan, as my right hand moved to her center, her palms pressed down a little harder into my shoulder.

_Please Ash……I need…I need you to save me, I need to forget._

_I…I don't understand._ She breathlessly panted out.

I watched as her stomach twitched and tightened, as I licked, sucked, and tugged at her belly button ring. My left hand grabbed her ass firmly, while my right hand found her bundle of nerves and applied light pressure, as I stroked up in down and in small circles.

_Sspencer….I …I …_I looked up and saw that her eyes were shut tight, mouth open and panting heavily, as her hips began moving on its own accord.

Without breaking contact, I stood up and gently pressed her against the stall door. I planted wet kisses from the crook of her neck to her collarbone, while I hooked my fingers around her panties and brought them down. I fell her pulse in her neck quicken, she was nervous.

_Spencer…I can't…not here….I don't want this to be my fir…_..I silenced her with my mouth. I knew I was being selfish, I knew she didn't want our "first time" together to be in a bathroom stall, but I needed to forget, I needed her to save me. _Sshh…Its okay, just go with it Ash…_I lifted one of her thighs and used my other hand to position myself at her entrance.

_Sspencer….I'm still…I'm still…..ahh!!! _

She let out what sounded like a moan as I entered her with a quick thrust, but I really couldn't tell, since I was too far gone. God she was so unbelievable tight, which I found odd since I'm pretty sure Aiden was her first. I could faintly hear her muttering words I didn't understand. My strokes were slow and gentle at first, and I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against her chest, trying to focus only on her; her skin, her gasps and her moans. Then it happened, my mind wondered back to Madison. I could no longer feel or hear Ashley, there was only Madison; her voice, her skin and her smell. She had that stupid, sexy, smug smirk on her face when I looked up, and she began taunting and insulting me.

_Come on freak…..I know you fuck better than that!_

_Shut up._

_I'm surprised you can even get it up…your pathetic!_

_I SAID SHUT THE FUCK!_ I started pounding into her hard and fast. I could hear her panting, but they soon turned into screams, she was begging me to stop.

_Spencer stop!_

_No!_

_Spencer, please stop…..your hurting me!_

_WHAT?....LIKE YOU HURT ME! THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED RIGHT?! TO FUCK ME! TO FUCK UP MY LIFE!...WELL HERE IT IS, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE IT!_

She started crying and tried pushing me back, but I didn't care, she needed to suffer. Her begging became louder as I continued to pound into her, so I place my hand over her mouth to muffle her screams.

I soon felt her wall clamp and I heard her muffled scream, with two more thrust I groaned and tipped over the edge. My eyes were shut tight, but as I finally came down, I opened them and gasped. There was no Madison it was only Ashley and the look on her face made my heart break. My right hand was still placed firmly over her mouth, her eyes were wide and tears were constantly flowing. I quickly removed myself from her body, and she immediately slumped to the floor with her face between her knees. She was trembling and I realized what I had done.

_Ash, I…._She cut me off.

_Why?_ Her voice sounded so void, so distant and broken.

_How….how could you do that to me?....I begged you….I asked you to stop…but you…_

_Ash I didn't mean….._

She quickly raised her head_. I didn't want this….not my first time….and you just…just took!_

When she said _first time _I flinched. She couldn't have meant what I thought she meant, that couldn't be right. Not only did she and Aiden both tell me that they did "stuff" together, but I would have noticed something like that right? Was I that lost, that I hadn't even felt her hymen break? Sure enough, when I look down, my penis was covered in cum and what looked like small streaks of blood.

_Ashley…i.i..I didn't know….why didn't you….._

_I TRIED TO TELL YOU, BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN…YOU WOULDN'T…..YOU WOULDN'T STOP!_ She buried her head back into her knees and continued to sob. I reach out to touch her, but the words she spat, burned like venom and it caused me to recoil.

DON'T TOUCH ME!....DONT EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME!

_Ash…_

_Just go away…..I don't want to see you….I don't want to hear you._ She whispered in a broken voice.

I pulled my pants up and silently made my way to the bathroom door. Stopping at the entrance, I whispered _I'm sorry _and made my way out. She was broken, I had broken her completely, and she would never forgive me for that. That thought alone made my stomach churn, and I found myself leaning over a garbage can, hacking up the remnants of my breakfast.

_How did my life get so fucked up?_ I needed answers, and the only person who could give them to me was Madison. I looked at my watch, it was about 1:45pm and I knew she would be in gym. It would be over in a little while so I decided to wait until I could get her alone. When 2:00 rolled by, I caught a glimpse of her and some of the other "cheer bitches" walking down the hall. I followed close by , making sure not to be seen, and I'm pretty sure I got a few weird looks from people but I didn't care, I was on a mission. One of her friends said something that must of had been funny, because it caused Madison to laugh, and for some reason I got this weird feeling in my stomach. I realized that at that moment, it was the first time in 2 years that I had either seen or heard her laugh genuinely. I had to admit she look beautiful when she smiled. I mean I always thought she was beautiful, especially when we were "friends", but after all the drama, I kinda just put her off.

I hid behind I corner wall, as she stopped by locker. I knew it took her a long time to get situated, she would often stay even when the tardy bell rang, but she would never get detention_. Probably because she's suckin off the teacher._ I chuckled at that and stayed hidden until the bell rang. The halls began to quiet down, leaving only me and her. So I quickly walked towards her and when I was in distance, I spoke.

_Why?_ I watched as she jumped slightly, turning around with her hands clutching her heart.

**A/N: So.....yeah, poor Ashley. I felt kind of bad about going into this direction but I think it will work out in the end. And Spencer, oh I'm sorry, I meant to say "Dirty Dick Spencer" lmao! How could she do that after she just had sex with Madison...not a good look. I hoped you enjoyed it, oh and the next chapter will be from Madison POV. Find out why she "hates" Spencer or should I say doesn't "hate" Spencer. It's already written, just gotta type it!**


	5. Not A Bitch, Just Misunderstood

**A/N: So, it's come to my attention that a lot of you seemed kind of offended by the last chapter, I would like to apologize if I have offended you in any way, it was not my intention. On a lighter note, a lot of you perverts want more sex(lol...just playin) so I'll do my best to not disappoint you.**

**Not A Bitch, Just misunderstood**

**Madison's POV**

I was walking to my locker with my friends Erin and Alicia, we were talking about our boyfriends.

_I mean really, I literally put him off for like a week, and when we finally did have sex, he cums just like that! _Erin snapped her fingers and I could not hold in my laughter.

_Yeah, I know what you mean, Aiden no better; in fact, he's not even big._

_Wow! that sucks, I mean, Steve may be a minute man but at least he's got something to work with!_ She giggled.

We continued to talk, until the bell rang.

_Oh shit! I gotta go, I don't want to be late again.....I'll see you guys later. _Alicia stated as she ran off.

_Yeah I should probably get going to, I can't afford another detention....see ya maddy!_

I just shook my head as Erin made her retreat. I wasn't really all that worried about being late, since I was pretty cool with my teacher. As I rummaged through my locker, I let my mind wonder back to the bathroom incident. I let a smirk play on my lips as I remembered the way Spencer clutched on to me for dear life. I knew it was fuck up, and I honestly didn't know what I was doing or why. I was brought out of my thoughts , when someone startled me.

_Why?_ Spencer stated.

_Shit! What the fuck Carlin!_

_That's exactly what I would like to know. What the fuck is this! _She motioned her hand between the two of us.

I was dumbfounded. I knew eventually she would confront me and demand answers , that I didn't know myself. So I did what I always do, I got defensive.

_I don't have to explain myself to you, freak!_

_The fuck you don't! You hate me! You just don't go around fucking people you hate...unless you're just fuckin crazy! Which is an entirely different subject.......So what is it?!_

I did hate her, or at least I kept telling myself that, but in the back of my mind, I knew that wasn't the case.

_You used to be my best friend....I loved you as a friend and more.....then that whole incident happened and you freaked. You told the entire school my secret. Why!? Why would you do that to me?!_

She was right, we were best friends...back then, everybody thought she was a boy when she first came here. She never really wore girlish clothes to make us think otherwise, and add to the fact that she had boyish features.

**Flashback**

We were real close, I even had a small crush on" _him". _One day I told him that I wanted him to be my first, so he ended up coming over after school. We made out for a bit, then I got undressed; he was flustered the whole time. I laid down on the bed and watched as he quickly took off his pants and underwear. For some reason he kept his t-shirt on, I just shrugged it off and looked towards his crotch.

_Is it supposed to look like that?_

He looked down , then shrugged his shoulders. He slowly climbed on top of me and his shirt slightly had ridden up, exposing his upper flesh through his collar. I looked down it, and noticed some sort of taping around his torso and a little cleavage. From the looks of it, he had breast but they couldn't of been more than a size A cup. I totally freaked. I mean, you don't just hide something like that from a person you're about to have sex with....right?

WHAT...THE...FUCK!......SPENCER, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!....WHAT....WHAT ARE YOU!

**End Flashback**

_You hate me...right?.....Why? ...Is it because im different? Or is it because....because of what I said?.....that...that I loved you. If so, you definitely don't have to worry about that now!_

I flinched as I remember what Spencer had said that day.

_**Flashback**_

_WHAT ARE YOU!_

_Madison...I thought....I thought you knew._

_KNEW WHAT? THAT YOUR A FREAK!.....GET THE HELL OFF ME SPENCER! NO! BETTER YET, GET THEHELL OUT OF HERE AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!_

_She flinched at my words._

_Madison please, I....I LOVE YOU!_

_NO! GET...GET OUT!....GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE SPENCER!_

**End flashback**

It wasn't really the fact that Spencer was "different", she could have at least told me, since we were friends. It just surprised me and I didn't know how to react. What would everybody think if we had had sex and then they found out about her "secret". They would think I was the freak for letting her do it. I couldn't let that happen, no matter what. So when she came to school the next day, I ignored her and told everyone I knew about her "secret". They completely humiliated, bullied and just broke her mentally and physically. I mean, yeah I could have handled it better, and I did feel really bad, even more so now. She spent 2 years suffering because of me, and I wanted to apologize but what was I going to say? _Oh hey Spencer! I'm really sorry for completely destroying your life every day. _Psst....yeah right!, something tells me that it probably wouldn't be that easy.

So yes, I pretended to hate her...because the truth is that I...I actual loved her. At first I just thought that the "love" was just curiosity. But recently I found myself thinking about her. I would lay in my bed at night, wondering what she was doing or if she was even thinking about me. I would think about her face, her lips, her body and those piercing eyes, as I pleasured myself. Sometimes in class I would rake my eyes all over her body, causing me to need a "bathroom break". Sometimes I would let my eyes linger a little too long and she would catch me, so I glared at her in order to cover myself. Then the whole bathroom incident happen, which all started by a conversation my friends and I were having in the locker room, after practice.

_I'm just sayin, If I was into the whole "freak thing", I would definitely do Spencer. I mean, have you ever seen Spencer run while playing soccer? She must be packin!_

_Okayyyy Alicia! we so did not need to hear about your freakish crush on Spencer. _I stated nonchalantly, trying not to sound to enthralled in the conversation. There was a brief pause of silence.

_Soooo Ashley, your friends with Spencer.....how big is it? _Alicia asked with an amused smile.

_How big is what?_

_Oh come on! I know you've heard the rumors.......she hasn't told you?_

l looked at Ashley, she had a confused look on her face.

I sighed_.....Your little friend Spencer, she was born with both...You know, a penis and a vagina._

She raised an eyebrow at me......_And how exactly would you know that?_

Okay, so I wasn't actually expecting that, and I needed to think quick. _Because....Because we were friends in the 9th grade, and one day I invited her over my house to swim. She was getting dressed in the bathroom and I accidently walked in on her_. I should of given myself a pat on the back for that.

She didn't say anything, just continued to get dressed.

_Welllll....I still don't care what yall think. Spencer's hot, and I would still fuck the shit out of her._

_That was all the confirmation I needed. If Alicia was okay with it, then why not? I was going to satisfy my curiosity one way or the other. So I purposely came in on her in the Gym locker room. Of course , I couldn't just not say something mean to her. I loved getting under her skin, I took pleasure in it and it made it that much more fun. Not to mention the shocked expression she gave me when I pressed her against the locker. It was fuckin hot! So I finally took matters into my own hands and gave her the best Blow job ever. Im not really one for giving blow jobs, especially if it has anything to do with Aiden. One lick and he's done for the night. Do you realize how much of a turn off that is? It makes the whole experience unfulfilling, but I rather enjoyed Spencer. The way she grabbed my head....and those moans. GOD! Just thinking about it made me wet. After that, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Especially during sex with Aiden, and that an entirely different subject. I mean, not only was Aiden a minute man but he was small. He had no stamina, no girth, he just lacked in every possible way. Not at all like Spencer. She was very well endowed, and I could tell she knew how to use it. So after that, I knew I had to fuck her, so I did. Boy was it worth it to. Spencer definitely knew how to please me, and if I would of known that, I would of did it the first time. Every time I met her thrust, she would hit that spot and it literally drove me crazy. I mean the girl had me begging! I'm Madison fuckin Duarte! I don't beg for shit! So that should tell you something right there. _

_But back to the situation at hand. She was staring intently in my eyes, waiting for an answer I didn't really have. I got a little uncomfortable, so I tried to run away. She was having none of that though, and she quickly grabbed my wrist.._

_Dammit Madison! stop running and just tell me!...just ...just please tell me why you're doing this.....Why you hate me_? Her voice hitched and I could tell she was on the verge of tears.

_Just please......Do you know what you did to me? The pain you caused...the pain I caused her! _She held onto my hand firmly. It kind of took me by surprised because she usually so strong willed, but now she just looked broken.

_Spencer.....I don't hat_.....I trailed off when I heard someone call her name. She stiffen then immediately dropped my hand, and wiped at her tears.....it was Carmen.

**A/N: So, sorry no sex in this chapter but it will be implied in the next. I promise!**


	6. So Called Reality

**So Called Reality**

**Madison's POV**

It was Carmen.

_Spencer! _She ran towards us; looked Spencer over, then turned and glared at me. I just rolled my eyes at her.

_Spencer...... what's a...what's going on?_

_Nothing....we were just talking._ She was staring off in the distance, and her voice sounded dull and emotionless.

Carmen eyed her again, which caused an exasperated sigh out of Spencer's mouth.

_Look, it's nothing Carmen....really.......I'm just. ...I'm not really feeling too well. Think I'll just go home.....I'll see you later. _She gave me a wary look, as if she telling me that we would finish this later.

I watched as she walked off. My heart felt really heavy, then I noticed Carmen still glaring. She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, I held up my hand.

_Don't.....just don't._

I turned around and walked towards my English class.

**Carmen's POV: Biology**

_I don't know Chel's. I mean, she's just been acting really weird lately. Not to mention Ashley. Did you see her? She looked totally out of it today when I walked passed her in the hall. When I tried talking to her, she didn't utter a single word. You think her and Spence had a fight or something?_

_Carmen, I really don't know. Whatever their going through is between them, so we should just stay out of it._

_But don't you think it kinda revolves around us to? I mean , what if they don't work it out? we're the ones that are gonna have to choose sides!_

_Okay, first of all, were not choosing anything. Secondly; just dont worry about it....it will work itself out._

_Welllll......what about the whole Madison thing? what was that, huh?...How do you explain me walking in on Spencer, down on her knees and holding Madison's Hand?_

_Carmen! ..For the last time, I don't know! I can't "explain" anything, because I.....don't....know!_

I just folded my arms across my chest and pouted. _Why wasn't she taking this as I was?_

HIJO DE PUTA! I through my hands into the air, causing the whole classroom to stare oddly.

Chelsea raised an eyebrow at me; I just shook my head.

_Don't even ask._

**Madison POV: Home**

I Noticed that Ashley hadn't come to practice, which I found odd because she never missed practice. It really didn't matter though. I ended practice early since I couldn't concentrate. I wanted to call Spencer, but I knew she would probably be upset, So I would just wait until she called me instead. I felt really frustrated , physical and mentally. So I decided to invite Aiden over for a "sleepover"; and by "sleepover" I mean sex.

I watched as he made his way down towards my center. it was always the same, he would go down on me first, then we would actually have sex. My guess is that he didn't want to seem like a quickie, so he would try to get me to the point of orgasm, then fuck me so that he didn't have to work too hard. Of course he could never make me cum. I would always fake it just to make him feel better. Don't get wrong, Aiden was quite talented with his tongue. I guess he would have to be though, since he was lacking in other areas.

_Mmm....God Madison, you task taste sooo good......like peaches._

Every time he would moan, the vibrations would send a jolt of pleasure through my body, making me wetter. I think he must of noticed because he started lapping me up like a dog. I started thinking about Spencer. How would it feel to have her tongue on me? Gripping my thighs as she teased me with her tongue. She would flatten her tongue and apply slight pressure to my clit, then fully suck it into her mouth. I knew I was really panting now. Every so often she would use her teeth to lightly graze the skin, then slowly trace a path down to my entrance and continually dip in and out. It felt so good, and I couldn't help but roughly pull at her hair as my hips grinded into her face. I was panting and moaning like crazy. I was so close, so close that I felt like I would die of pleasure.

_Ahhh!...OH GOD!...DONT STOP......DONT EVER FUCKIN STOP!.......IM GONNA!..._..Right when I felt that ache in my stomach, she stopped. I looked down at her, and she had this smug fuckin grin on her face.

_WHAT THE FUCK!_

_Sshh..don't worry....ima take care of you. _Her voice sounded so husky with lust.

She climbed up and positioned herself between my legs. I could feel her erection as it rubbed against my clit. She started planted kisses from my neck, all the way down to in between my breast. Stopping to plant a kiss on each one; she began tracing invisible designs around my left nipple. My hips started to buck as she finally enveloped the bud into her mouth. Making sure to give each one the same amount of attention; she sucked, licked, bit and tugged until I couldn't take it anymore. I needed her to fuck me, Right now!

_Will you stop being a fuckin tease, and just fuck me already!_ I was surprised that I could get a complete sentence out, since I could hardly breathe.

She released my nipple and position herself at my entrance. I couldn't help the moan that escaped when she finally thrust forward. they were slow strokes at first, but as I started begging and scratching at her back; she quicken the pace. OH FUCK!....HARDER!..She started pounding into me so hard, my head hit the headboard. OH!...IM GONNA....IM GONNA......MIERDAAA!!!!!!!!

_FUCK MADISON!_ With one deep thrust, she hit the "spot", and we both tipped over the edge. I dug my nails so hard into her back , I was sure it would leave a mark.

She collapsed beside me in a fit of pants. I was in such a euphoric state , that when "her" deep voice echoed throughout the bedroom; I jerked. I mentally slapped myself; I wasn't with Spencer, I was with Aiden.

_Wow babe.....that was hot! I've never heard you speak Spanish during sex.....Think you could maybe lay off my back next time?_

I physically wanted to gag into his mouth, but instead I just groaned and turned my back towards him. I stared at the alarm clock for a while; it was nearly 7:30pm._ This wasn't supposed to happen .Why did I constantly think about her? I mean I loved Aiden, I always loved Aiden....right? _I was temporarily dislodged from my thoughts when he interrupted me.

_So uh.....I talked to Chelsea and Carmen today....they said something about seeing you and Spencer in the hallway....what was that about?_

I cringed._ Why the hell did I agree to these little "sleepovers?" _I sighed and turned my head to the side.

_It was nothing. we just.....had a bit of a confrontation, that all._

He huffed. _You know, you guys should really just" kiss and make up". It's been like what?.....2 years? I'm pretty sure she would forgive you if you just apologized._

_Psst....I highly doubt that_. I was silently debated his words._ He really had no idea, how much "kissing and making up" we had already been doing. Man this was so fucked up! _After my brief inner ramblings, I finally relied.

_Yeah....maybe._


	7. Be My Ashley

**Be My Ashley**

**Spencer's POV**

To say that I was out of it for the past couple of weeks would truly be an understatement; I was literally a walking corpse. I went to school of course , and tried talking to Ashley, who pretty much ignored me. I don't know how many letters, texts, voice messages or home visits I made, but she never acknowledged me in anyway. She changed her seat in English and sat the furthest away from me at lunch. I couldn't blame her. I was the one that fucked up, but I wasn't going to give up so easily. I had come to the conclusion that she must have not told the other's what had happened between us because if she did, they most certainly would not be talking to me still. Why, she hadn't told them was beyond me, but I was grateful, because I didn't think I would be able to handle everyone being mad at me. I could tell Carmen was still suspicious about the Madison incident in the hallway, but she hadn't brought it up, so I'll just count that as a win. As for Madison, she to ignored me or tried avoiding me and my questions. It didn't really bother me, since I was getting really tired of chasing after her for answers she wouldn't give. Sometimes at night I would cry myself to sleep, and I knew my family was worried. They would often try to talk to me or comfort me, but I would just put them off. This behavior went on for a couple of weeks, until Carmen came over one Friday evening and literally forced me to go out.

_Alright Spencer, I don't know what's going on with you and Ash, but both of you are giving me Diabetes! I'm tired of seeing you walking around like a fucking Zombie! Soooo....me, you, Glenn, Clay and Aiden are going to have a "guy's night"_. I raised an eyebrow at her_. Don't look at me like that, you know exactly what I mean!....ya know... fuck up the town, party, get some drinks and maybe....see some naked chick? _She wiggled her eyebrow at that last comment, which caused me to smirk.

_Carmen, as much fun as that really sounds; I really don't want to......_

_I DONT GIVE A GOOD GODDAMN WHAT YOU WANT! YOUR GOING AND THATS FINAL!_

I huffed._ Carmen, I don't think we can even get into a strip club..... let alone, buy drinks._

_We're 18, we can totally get into a strip joint, and as far as drink; you just let me worry about that Sugar-tits._

_Fine....whatever you say._

_Good girl! Now get ready, we're leaving in 20 minutes. _I looked at the clock, it was about 7:45. It seemed a little early, but whatever.

We ended up at a small club in downtown L.A around 8:40 I think. Turns out, Carmen's cousin owned the club , so we got in for free and we even got into V.I.P

_Alright Carmen, we're here, so where's the drinks?_

_Don't worry.......mamma's gonna take care of it._

I watched as she made her way to the bar. She talked with her "cousin", then came back with bottles in her hands_. Told ya mamma had it._ She said with a smirk.

_Yeah yeah.....just hand over the stuff._

We kicked back for a bit. I could feel the Alcohol working its way through my system. It felt good and I was enjoying the high, until Aiden fucked it up with his constant babbling.

_I'm telling you......it was fuckin hot! She was all begging, scratchin, and she even started talkin in Spanish. Do you realize how hot that is!!! _The other guys just nodded dumbly at his response.For some reason I started to get really pissed off at what he was saying. He just kept going on and on, So I snapped.

_CHRIST AIDEN! WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP FOR 5 MINUTES! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE "GUY'S NIGHT", NOT LETS FUCKIN TALK ABOUT MY LITTLE FUCK FEST WITH MADISON NIGHT!_

_Whoa whoa......calm down chica, it's all good. _Carmen stated calmly.

_NAH....IT'S NOT ALL GOOD! WE POSED TO BE CHILLIN, HAVIN SOME FUN, BUT HE WON'T SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT MADISON!_

_DONT FUCKIN GET PISSY WITH ME, JUST BECAUSE YOU AND ASH ARENT TALKIN! _Oh he really crossed the line there.

_FUCK YOU AIDEN! COME SAY THAT SHIT TO MY FACE!_

_Ummm.....No! How bout we don't do that , and we all just relaxxxx........come on Spencer, let's go dance._ She dragged me back before I could protest.

Dancing with Carmen felt a little weird, but in a good way I guess. I think I must have gotten a little excited because she gave me this weird look.

_Ewww Spencer!....That's so totally inappropriate. _She giggled.

_Well hey, I'm more than a little tipsy, and nobody asked you to grind yo ass all up on me._

We laughed as she turned around to face me, then suddenly she got real serious.

_Sooo, you wanna tell me what the hell that was all about? Or maybe you'd like to tell me what that little display in the hallway was all about?_

I immediately stopped dancing and ran my fingers through my hair_. Carmen, I really don't feel like getting into this right now. I just got a little out of hand, is all.......and nothing happened with me and Madison, so can we please just drop it?_

She frowned a bit....._Whatever you say Spencer._ It felt kind of awkward after that, so I decided to lighten the mood.

_Sooo. you wanna get out of here now?...ya know, see some sex on legs. _I smiled cheekily, and she beamed those pearly whites at me.

_That's the spirits Spence!....lets go, can't keep the naked chicks waitin._

**Strip Club**

I don't know how Carmen did it, but we were able to get in. Things were still kind of awkward with Aiden and I did feel kind of bad.

_hey uh...Aiden? I'm real sorry about the whole Madison thing...the liquor just kind of....got to me._

_Oh, uh yeah....me to...sorry about the Ash thing_. I nodded and we began talking . we were sitting in a small area while Glenn and clay were scattered about, ogling the pole dancers. We had to pay a little extra in order to get some drinks, which were all provided by Carmen, and her overwhelming ability to persuade the opposite sex. On our 3rd round of drinks, Carmen motioned for a young dancer to come to our table. She had long slender legs, wide hips, and a slender waist. The perfect "hour glass" figure. Her midsection and arms were very well toned, her breast were very adequate, .....and that ass? Don't get me started on that. Her skin was a flawless bronze color, which gave me the impression that she was some kind of Spanish. The one thing that really caught my eye though, was her face; she looked just like them. I knew Carmen must have sensed what I was thinking because she gave me this weird look, as if saying" I know you'll really enjoy this one". Oh how I truly hated her , and that dumb ass smirk_._

_Sooo guys....id liked to introduce you to my cousin. Nikki, this is Aiden, Glenn, Clay and that one right there is Spencer. Everyone this is Nikki, but you can call her Lollipop. _She smiled coyly, and we gave our hello's. I turned to look at Carmen, and she still had that shit-faced grin._ Ugh! What I wouldn't give to smack her in the head with this bottle._

_ya know Carmen, I find it incredible weird that no matter where we go, we always end up seeing one of your "cousins"_. I lifted an eyebrow towards the two, and again, Carmen just smirked and Shrugged.

_What can I say? We have a very.....big family. _She turned towards Lollipop, and whispered something in her ear. She laughed, then playfully jabbed Carmen in the arm. Their whole body language screamed anything but "family"; if anything, it screamed " I want to fuck you right now". No doubt, she probably already had, and that thought made me laugh. After their little playful display, Carmen smacked her on the ass; motioning for her to do her "job".

I tried to look at anything but Lollipop, as she sensually danced her body in my direction. My sobriety was quickly diminishing, as I chugged down everyone's drinks. I literally smacked myself in the face, at the guy's useless attempts at getting her Attention. Which by the way, seemed solely focused on me for some reason. When I turned to ask Carmen a question, I noticed a brief exchange of looks between her and Lollipop. Next thing I know, Lollipop's standing right in front of me with her hands out. Again, I turned towards Carmen, who just smiled coyly and relied.

_I think my cousin wants to show you somethin in the back, Spence._ I just rolled my eyes and stumbled forward as Lollipop pulled me upwards.

An uproar of_ "no's," awe's" _and_ "where ya going", _could be heard as we made our way towards the back area.

_Sorry boys, but I'd much rather have some fun with Spencer._

We enter some area called the Rodeo room. It was very interesting to say the least. There were many "tools" latched to the walls, and a weird looking chair with straps on the armrests and legs.

She roughly shoved me down on the chair, spread my legs apart and strapped them down.

_Whoa there Lollipop, no need to get all technical on me baby. _She leaned forward a little, which gave me an eyeful of her cleavage, then began to sway her body. I don't know why, it could of been all the alcohol I had consumed, but I just started rambling. What I was rambling about? I have no clue, I just went on and on.

_Ya know Lollipop....wait, you mind if I call you Nikki? Lollipop just seems so.....demeaning for a girl like you...ya know?_

_Sweetie, you can call me whatever you want._ She started stripping herself of what little clothes she had on.

_Wow lollipop!...I mean Nikki. Your really pretty. You must have guys lines up around the corner in order to get you, huh?_

_Wellll...something like that._ She straddled my waist_. Let's not talk about that right now though. She started grinding her body into me, as the music echoed through the room._

_Ya know, you remind me of these two girls I know, Ashley and Madison. Ash is sweet and kind, and Madison tends to be......sort of a bitch, but I think I kind of like her like that... in a fuck up way. Why I like her is beyond me, and I know I shouldn't but I do, kind of . Me and Madison used to be friends, but now? Let's just say we aren't really on friendly terms. Nikki continued to dance on me as I babbled on. Ashley's really upset with me cuz I did something really awful. I didn't even me to do it, it just happened and it's all because of Madison. I mean, if you hated someone, would you just go around fuckin them? Not only did I force myself on Ash, but I wanted it to be Madison. I wanted to hurt her, make her feel what she's been doing to me. That's the Scariest part, knowing I wanted to physically harm someone. Why....Why did I do that to Ash?_

_Spencer, you're really drunk and I have no clue as to what you're talking about. Maybe......you....should...just....stop...thinking....and ....just...feel. Feel what I'm giving you, and just enjoy it. _As she said these words, she gradually started to unbutton my shirt. I giggled as she ran her hands over my bare stomach.

_I don't know Nikki, that kinds what got me into this mess_. I groaned as she made her way towards my pants._ But I guess I could enjoy the show._

_That's the spirit! Now just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. _She started unzipping my pants.This all brought back that familiar incident a couple weeks ago. My hearts was pounding in my chest._ I couldn't do this. _Right when she was about to "whip it out", I stopped her.

_Stop!.....I can't do this! .....I'm sorry. _I gently shoved her off me and began untying the straps.

_We'll wait! Carmen told me to make you feel better....she already paid me....you don't want to...ya know?_

_No Nikki I don't, but thank you anyway. _I quickly made my way towards the entrance, swapping a bottle of liquor and making sure not to b seen by the others; I left the club. I stumbled down some unknown streets and tried my luck at dialing Ashley. She didn't answer, so I decided to wait 5 minutes, and called her private. She picked up.

_Ash, I know your mad but I can explai......._she hung up before I could finish.

_FUCK! _I through my phone down on someone's grass and paced around._ THIS IS SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING! IM TIRED OF THIS SHIT! _I needed to feel numb so I drank and continued walking. After what seemed like hours, I somehow made my way to a familiar street....Madison's._ I know what you're thinking, and your probably right....I am a dumbass. _I clumsily made my way to the door and banged on it. After about 5 minutes, Madison answered, and she looked pissed.

_Heyyyy Madison! _

_Spence? What the hell!? It's like 1 in the morning. What are you.....OH GOD! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING!?_

_Oh you know...a little of this and that. Let's not talk about that though. I'd rather be doing something else anyway_. I grinned at her as she raised an eyebrow.

_Aren't you gonna invite me in? _She just sighed and opened the door further, allowing me to enter.

_Look Spencer, you can stay the night, but you have to be quite, okay? _I thought about for a minute then Grinned.

_mmmm....I don't know, I kinda had something else in mind that involves screaming and moaning. _She furrowed her brow's at me and huffed.

_We're not having sex Spencer. _That caused me to pout.

_Come on maddy! You know you want to._

_No Spencer! Your drunk and you might regret it in the morning...not to mention, it's totally fucked up._

_You just now realizing that? ....That's never stopped you before.....come on, we might as well. Don't you want to play a game with me. _I slowly approached her and leaned in until our lip's brushed. She tensed her body, and I nibbled on her lip as she tried to mumble something.

_Spencer, I don't think we should....._

_Sshh.....don't think, just feel. _She complied for a minute, then she gently pushed me back.

_Spencer!....me and you are going to my room to SLEEP!, that's it, nothing else!...do you understand? _She turned around and began to ascend the stairs, until I grabbed her wrist. I quickly sobered up at that moment.

_Please Madison....I need to feel something, anything. I want...no ,I need you to be my Ashley._

She tensed slightly and turned to face me. I don't know if it was guilt or whatever, but she didn't reply; she just took my hand and led me to her bedroom.

I knew we shouldn't have. I knew I was possible hurting Aiden, but I couldn't help it. If I couldn't have the real deal, then Madison would have to be my Ashley.

We entered her bedroom and I let my eyes wonder around. It still somewhat looked the same. I approached her bed, but she stopped me.

_Oh no you don't!....You're not laying in my bed, smelling like garbage!....Here, go take a shower. _She tossed a towel and rag at me.

_What about your parents? You told me to be quiet, right? _She turned away timidly.

_They're uh...they're not here. _That caused me to smirk.

_Oh really? What happened to all that "I need to be quiet?"....Well, I guess we don't have to worry about that, huh? _I could tell she was blushing, which made me laugh.

_Oh shut Carlin! Just go take your stupid shower._

_Thanks. _I whispered and she furrowed her eyebrow.

_For what?_

_For this.....for not calling me a freak. _She seemed really surprised at that.

_Oh...well, you're welcome I guess._

The shower felt good, it was relaxing and it sobered me up a little. That nagging voice was in my head, telling me what I was about to do was wrong. I didn't care, though. I wanted this, I needed this, no matter how fucked up it was and I wasn't backing down. I admit that I was a little nervous, but it was only sex...right?

_When I finally emerged, I dried off and came back into the room. She was lying down under the cover's with a nervous look. I dropped my towel and her eyes got big._

_What are you doin?...aren't you gonna put on some clothes_? I shrugged my shoulder.

_Why? I'm just gonna take them off anyway. _She still had that weird look on her face.

_Fine.....would it be better if I kept a shirt on? _She nodded and got out of the bed. I noticed she was wearing a very revealing piece. After rummaging through her dresser, she pulled out a long t-shirt. I must of been staring really hard because when she turned around, she glared at me. I opened my mouth to say_ something, _but I decided it was best not to. We climbed in bed, turned the lights out, and sat awkwardly. When I attempted the first move, she stopped me.

_Wait......I think that if were gonna be doin this, we should at least establish some rules, right? _I nodded.

_After debating some possible rules, we finally came up with the following._

_1. We can't talk about, or bring up Aiden or Ashley._

_2. If anyone feels uncomfortable with anything, we must immediately stop._

_ emotional attachments whatsoever. In other words, it's just sex and only sex._

_ harm or abuse. That doesn't actually include spanking, or any other types of "four play"._

_5. We have to maintain contact with each other, in case we want to cancel or reschedule our little "play-dates". _

I was fine with all of them except #3. I just thought it was weird since that's basically why we were doing it....to feel some type of emotion, but whatever. So this is how we began our little game.

_Let the games begin!_

_**A/N: Okay so, it maybe awhile until I post another chapter because unfortunately, I've been neglecting my school work. The next chapter's maybe one shots, describing each "game" they played. So fear not! I'll do my best to satisfy your perverted minds. Lmao!**_


	8. Let the Games Begin

**A/N: So yeah, been kind of busy lately, especially with school. I had a bit of writers block, so Im not really sure what will happen in the next couple of chapter. I do know that I need to have an Ashley chapter and Im still trying to figure that out. A lot of you want Splashley fic, and some of you want Spadison. Im kinda leaning towards the Spadison, but I want you guys to vote. I think that would really help me out a bit.**

**Let the Games Begin**

**Spencer Pov**

I decided to take the lead, and gently moved forward until our lips touched. They were soft, plump, and tasted like strawberries. I moved my right hand to trail down her sides and back, causing goose bumps to rise upon her skin. I moved my hands towards her bra, and in one swift movement, I unclasped and removed it. I pulled back from her lips, to admire her firm, full breasts. She gently took my face in to her hands, as she forced my eyes away from her body.

_Don't stare…it's not very nice, _she stated sternly with a hint of playfulness.

Before I could reply, she suddenly crashed our lips together, with so much need and desire. She began to moan, when my hands moved towards her breast at their own accord. The gasps and moans that erupted from her mouth only fueled the desire in me, so I double my efforts. I laid her down on her back, and began trailing wet kisses down her body, until I reached the apex of her breast. At an agonizingly slow pace, I let my tongue lick and tease her right breast, while I massaged the left. I made sure to show each one the same amount of attention. I felt her hips buck with urgency, and I smirked against her skin. I knew what she wanted, but I wanted her to beg me. Im not really into the whole "domination" thing, but I wanted to be the one in control for once. I felt her tug on my wet hair, so I turned my attention upwards. She was flushed, panting and look a bit frustrated.

_Eger much?_ I replied smugly.

She didn't reply, just glared at me.

_If you want me, then you have to beg me._

She scoffed_. Im not begging for anything!_

_Come ooonnn, Madison…..no need to be all shy, we've already done this before, remember? As I recall, I don't seem to remember you having any problems with begging me before. _

_No! Im not begging for shit!_

_Okayyyy…..if you say so Madison, but we both know what's gonna happen. Trust me when I say, Im gonna make this so very frustrating for you._

**Madison's Pov**

It was just like my daydream with Aiden. She was teasing me in the worst possible way. I felt her hands trail down my body, as she continued to tease my skin with her mouth. They gently massaged my inner thighs, and my hips bucked automatically. I knew she was smirking, and I couldn't help the strangled moan that escaped, when she let her finger brush against the slickness of my folds.

_Oh?.....Your so wet for me Madison. Maybe I could help you with that?_

I knew she wanted me to beg, and my resolve slightly cracked, as I heard her husky voice. I hated, yet loved the way my body reacted to her.

_All you have to do is beg me Madison._ She whispered then tugged on my ear with her teeth. All the while, her thumb found my clit, and applied just the right amount of pressure.

_Oh god! Spencer!_ I breathlessly moaned, and she met my eyes with an innocent expression.

_Yes?.....Is there something you want to tell me?_

I bit my lip, and rocked my hips into her fingers. _Fuck my resolve!_

_I…I want……I want…_

_What do you want Madison? _She licked and nibbled on my bottom lip_. What do you need?... Oh god! _I couldn't take it anymore.

_Spencer, please?_ My voice sounded so foreign to me

_Please what? What do you want me to do?_ Her thumb was making invisible shapes against my clit.

_Please?…just please stop teasing me, I need you …….I need you inside. Please, just fuck me Spencer…..Now!_

_Well why didn't you say so? All you had to do was….._I didn't give her time to finish because I desperately forced my mouth on hers.

**Spencer Pov**

I removed my hands form her moist center, and it caused a whimper from her, but it was soon replaced with a load moan, as I entered her. I groaned at the feeling. She was so wet and tight; I knew I had to calm down or I wouldn't last long. It didn't help that she wrapped her legs around me tightly, in an attempt to make sure no room was left between us, but it only caused me to go deeper into her. I think I hit that "spot," and I knew she was far to gone now, since she didn't seem to have any trouble begging me. We were panting heavily, and the constant curses, "mores'," and "harder's" only turned me on more; not to mention her Spanish. Aiden was definitely right about that, it was fuckin hot! We were about 15 or 20 minutes in, and I was keeping a good pace, but it was becoming harder for me to hold on, with her constantly scratching at my back.

_Ah fuck!......Madison, your nails!_

_Sorry…..Im sorry._ She immediately stopped, and I sighed at the loss of contact.

_No!.... Deeper!_ She furrowed her eyebrows. _Are you sure?_

I nodded my head._ Positive…..don't hold back_. I tried to suppress the moan that slipped, when she slowly raked her nails down my back. It felt so painfully good.

I buried my face into her neck; within another 5 minute, I felt her walls contract. That's all it took, and with one final thrust, we were both sent into the pleasures of oblivion, as our bodies rocked with an intense orgasm.

**Madison's Pov**

When we finally came down from our high, Spencer rolled over onto her back, beside me. _That was fun, _She stated. I watched as she blinked her eyes several times, and yawned. After about 3 minutes, sleep overcame her, and I smiled as she wrapped her arms around me. I stared at the serene expression on her face. She looked like a kid, with her lip slightly poked out. My heart flooded with happiness at the sight, and she cuddled closer. My happiness was soon replaced with jealousy, when she said her name.

_Ashley_….she sighed contently.

_How could I be so stupid?_ I mentally berated myself for even assuming I meant anything to her. _This is all fucked up! I shouldn't have agreed to this, but I needed this just as much as she did._ _I'd rather have some of her, rather than nothing of her._ I sighed and cuddled up closely, trying to hold on to this moment as long as possible. For, I knew in reality, she would never truly be mine.

**A/N: Just to let you know, I don't really like the word pussy. It makes me twitch whenever I hear it, so I probably won't be using it anymore. Im thinking about doing a couple of sex scenes based on special holidays. For instance, Christmas, New years, Valentines Day etc. Writing is a hard process, but I hoped you liked it.**


	9. Morning After, Friends, Diner, Rubdowns

**Morning After, Friends, Dinner and Rubdowns **

**Spencer Pov: Morning After**

I woke up with a mad headache. _That's the last time I ever drink. _I felt something was missing, so I turned towards Madison's side of the bed. She was gone, but I noticed a small piece of paper. It read…..

_Dear Spencer,_

_ Yesterday was......well, let's just say I enjoyed it, and look forward to the next time. I had a few errands to run, and I should be back in a couple of hours. If not, then feel free to let yourself out. Oh, help yourself to anything in the kitchen, and please lock the door; the key is under the door mat._

_ *Madison*_

I ran my hands over my face, and mentally chastised myself_. Spencer, Spencer, Spencer…..what have you gotten yourself into?_

_That's exactly what I want to know. _I jumped and looked around.

_What the fuck was that!?_

_It's me…..your conscience, dumb ass!_

I furrowed my brows._ I'm trippin! I must be still drunk, because I'm having a conversation with myself._

_Trust me, you're nowhere near drunk…..you might have a headache, but you're not drunk._

_So, with that said, just what the fuck do you think your doin Spencer!?_

I sighed. I knew "I" was right, but I had no idea what I was doin._ Look, I really don't know….okay!? I just need to feel, and she makes me feel things. What those feelings are, I don't know. I just……want Ashley, but….._

_And you think by doin this, it will help?……..you really are fuck up! What about Aiden? Did you ever think about him!?_

_You know I have!......Uh!....look, I really don't want to get into this right now._

_It's all gonna blow up in your face if……_I shook my head, completely blocking "me" out.

I took a quick shower, got dressed, and made my way to the door. I looked at my phone; I had 16 missed calls, and 5 texts. _Fuck! I totally forgot about them yesterday_. It was about 11:45am, when I began walking home. After about an hour of walking and an hour on the bus; I mad it back at about 2:15pm. I sighed heavily, and then opened the door. All seemed quiet, so I dragged myself up the stairs. While walking past my brothers rooms, I noticed they weren't there. As I was about to enter my bedroom, my mother walked past me, and I tensed.

_Oh, hey honey…..how was it over at Carmen's? You know I don't mind you spending the night, but you could have at least called me. Your brother and Carmen had to call me instead._

I furrowed my brow in confusion, then sighed in relief when I realized they had covered for me.

_Oh uh……yeah, sorry about that. I was just so tired from hanging out yesterday…..must of slipped my mind._

_Oh I bet your were tired, tired from fuckin Madison!_ Great, it was back. _Will you please shut up! I really don't need this right now._ I was totally fuckin nuts, who the fuck has arguments with themselves?

Honey? Are you okay?

_What?......oh, yeah…..just a little tired is all. Um, where's clay and Glenn?_

_They went to go paintball with Aiden._ I flinched at Aiden's name. _I've got to go into work for awhile, and your dad won't be home until 6pm. I'll see you later okay?_

_Okay, see you later…..love you._

She gave me a kiss on the cheek, and then made her way downstairs. When I finally heard the door slam, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.Now I really felt bad, they covered for me, while I was fucking Madison_. I'm such a douche! _I plopped down on my bed, in an attempt to go to sleep. My actions were declined, when my phone began to ring…..it was Carmen. _Okay Spencer, get ready for the beating. _I took a deep breath and answered.

Hello?

_DON'T FUCKIN HELLO ME! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!?_ My head was throbbing from the fierceness of her voice.

_Wellll.....after your "cousin" tried to have her way with me, I left. I needed to clear my head, so I took a walk. After an hour of stumbling, I fell asleep on someone's lawn. Thats it, end of story.. Oh, and I don't appreciate that little deal you made with Lollipop. I didn't want to fuck her!_

_Oh, but you didn't have any problems fucking Madison, huh?_

This whole conscience thing is really annoying. _Shut up! No one ask you!_

_Spencer! Who the hell are you talking to!?_

_Shit_! I didn't even realize I had said that out loud Uhhh? Nothing.....nobody

_What ever you say, and I didn't tell her to fuck you! I just asked her to give you a private dance….I swear!_

_Whatever!.........and thanks, ya know……covering for me?_

_What are friends for? _There was a brief pause._ Ya know…..if you want to make it up to me, you could go out again with me and the guys? _

_Carmen! ....... We just went out yesterday, and I really can't handle anymore drinking._

_No! No! It's not like that; we were just planning on going to eat. I promise._

I silently debated this.

_Come on Spence, please?_

_Fine! _

_Yes! You know I love you, right?_

_Yeah, yeah…what time should I be ready?_

_They want to be there at 6:00pm, so just be ready by like 5:20pm….okay?_

_Yup….oh, where are we goin? Should I dress up?_

_Um….they wanted to go to that new restaurant downtown. I forgot the name, and no, you don't have to dress up; just dress casually classy. _

I furrowed my eyebrows_. Casually classy?....What the hell is that?_

_You know…not to dressy, but not to casual……kind of in the middle._

_Whatever you say, Carmen._

**Dinner**

We arrived at the restaurant around 6:15pm. It was simple yet elegant, in a somewhat classy way. Carmen was right though, it was the type of restaurant that didn't really require "fancy dress" attire; but you also didn't want to dress to casual. So I went with a snug fitted black button up, and a pair of black Hollister skinny jeans. They were really tight, and my penis felt like it was in my pocket. To top it off, I wore a white tie and a pair of black and white Chucks. I didn't really know what to do with my hair, so I slightly curled it, and then put on a black beanie. Glenn, Clay, Chelsea, Carmen and myself, were currently waiting for Aiden. I started thinking about Ashley, and I realized she never really hung out with the others, whenever I was near. That was understandable, because I wouldn't want to be near me either.

_Hey, uh Carmen? Is…..Ashley coming?_

_Oh, uh?,,,, ya know, I really don't think so._

_Does she……ever talk about me, when you're with her?_

_Well, she did ask how you were the other day….I told her you looked like shit. She didn't say anything after that, and I didn't want to push it…ya know?_

_Wow, thanks a lot. _I said sarcastically. _Well, at least she asked about me. _

_No problem._ I rolled my eyes at her, when she smirked.

_What about all those flowers and stuff? Did she say anything about that?_

I had literally spent everyday, buying her gifts, trying to get her to at least acknowledge me.

Mmmm.... not that I know of, but I did see her throw some of them away.

I hung my head. _Just when I thought I was getting somewhere._

_Hey……don't worry about it. I don't know what happen between you two, but don't give up….she'll come around, it's impossible for people to stay mad at you._

_Yeah, I highly doubt that_. I mumbled quietly_._

Just then, Aiden walked in with……Madison?_ Shit! What the hell is she doin here!?....This is going to be so awkward! Alright, just calm down Spencer, act like nothings changed._

_What the hell Carmen! You didn't tell me she was coming!_

_I didn't know, but can you please try to behave?_

_Me? What about her? She's the one that starts stuff!_

We immediately stopped and sat up straight, when they walked to the table.

_Hey guys!....Hope you don't mind, but I brought Madison. _I squirmed in my seat, as I raked my eyes over her body. She was wearing a very tight black dress, which came up mid thigh; I assumed she was wearing heels, since I couldn't really see. When I met her eyes, she smirked, she knew she was hot. I felt everyone's eyes on me, so I turned my attention towards them. They gave me an expected look.

_Well?_

_Well what? _I asked confusedly.

_You don't mind, right? _Carmen asked with a stern look.

I turned back towards Madison and Aiden, who had there eyebrows raised. I just shrugged my shoulders.

_Do whatever you want, you don't need my permission. _I stated nonchantly. When I met her gaze again, I noticed a glint in her eyes. I knew she was planning something.

_Wow Spencer, your looking gayer than ever tonight_. She grinned.

I heard everyone sigh, and I inwardly smirked. To me and her, it was a game, but everyone else assumed we were serious.

_Hey Madison? Why don't you shut that cunt you call a mouth, I just might get venereal disease; with all those juices flying out.._ I heard Carmen laugh beside me_. This was fun._

_We continued to throw insults at each other, until Chelsea intervened._

_Alright you two, that's enough! Can we please have one evening without drama?_

Me and Madison shrugged.

After about 10 minutes of chatting, our food had arrived, and we continued to enjoy the evening. Every now and then, I would glance at Madison. She still had that mischievous glint in her eyes._ What was she planning now?_

I was leisurely eating my food, when I felt a foot making its way up my leg. My eyes went wide and I began chocking when it stopped at my groin.

_Spencer? Are you okay? _Carmen started patting my back and I nodded_._

_Yyyeah...... just went down the wrong tube, I guess. _I looked towards Madison, who was leaning back against the booth, with her drink in her hand. She had this innocent look on her face, and I could see the corners of her mouth turn upwards. Her feet began to move again, when it found the tip of my penis, it began to message back in forth. I had to cough, in order to cover up the moan that escaped.

_You sure you're okay? _Chelsea asked.

_Yeah Spence, you look a bit red in the face. _Aiden said.

My mind felt fuzzy, and I gripped the table for support.

I'm…im okay. I breathlessly moaned. The sauce……it's uh….it's…it's HOT! I through my head back slightly. I didn't understand how she was doing this without moving her upper body or remain so innocent looking.. The tables were kind of compact, so she had enough room to reach. It was a good thing the table clothes were long. She slightly picked up the pace, and I started panting.

_Maybe I should get you some water…..excuse me sir, can my friend get some water please?_ I immediately chugged down the water, and chocked as I reached my limit. I let out a loud moan, which sounded like a sigh, when I finished both the water and my orgasm.

_Jesus Spencer! It's just water…….no need to get all orgasmic over it._ Carmen and the others laughed. I contiued panting, wiped the sweat from my face, and then leaned back.

_No Carmen…..that was the best water I ever had! _I stated with a smirk, as I met Madison's gaze.


	10. Naughty or Nice?

**A/N: Im bacckkk! Lol. It's been too long my fellow viewers. I had originally planned to post two chapters, this one and possibly Ashley thoughts so far. Unfortunately, I misplaced the paper that had Ashley's Pov on it, so I have to rewrite it. This chapter is one of the games Spadison has played. Hope you enjoy it.**

**Naughty or Nice**

Today was Christmas Eve. Of course, I sent Ashley some gifts, but I doubt she got them. At this point, I truly felt like I should give up, but I refused. My family was having dinner in a few hours, but I got a text from Madison. When I opened the picture message, my jaw clenched. Madison was posing with her right hand on her hips, a candy cane in the other, pressed to her mouth. She had on a Santa hat, a thick string of wrapping ribbon that went horizontal, slightly covering her chest. She also had on a red spaghetti thong, with an innocent look on her face. Below the picture, it said, were you naughty or nice? Madison's checking twice. I felt my self getting aroused, thinking about all the things I would do to her. _Screw Dinner!_

I told my parents that I was going to have dinner over Carmen's house, which I did plan on doing after I played with Madison. Of course, they had a bit of a fit, but I used my puppy-dog eyes. It works every time! Carmen's family didn't plan on having dinner until 6:00pm, so that gave me plenty of time.

When I got to Madison's house, it was about 4:15pm, and I immediately knocked on the door. I noticed the door was unlocked, so I let myself in. Apparently, I was supposed to do that, because I spotted a trail of Candy Canes, leading up the stairs. Following the trail, it ended at Madison's bedroom. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door, and exhaled. The room was dim, from the dark curtains, and it smelt of Summer rain. That's not what got my attention though. Madison was laying on the bed, which was covered in Candy Canes.

_So Spencer, were you naughty or nice?_

_I think you know the answer to that._ I said as I began to take off my pants.

As I walked towards Madison, she got up and met me half way. Giving her a once over, I noticed she had several Candy Canes stuck to her body, one in which looked like it was stuck to her kitty cat.

_Uh, I'm not complaining, but what's with the Candy Canes?_

_It's a game_. I raised an eyebrow.

_Don't worry, you'll see. _I just shrugged my shoulder, and pulled her to me, devouring her lips.

_Where Aiden?_ I mumbled against her skin.

_Out of town._ She panted out, while clutching my shirt.

I began leading her to the bed, while sucking on her neck. Shell fell backwards, pulling me on top of her. Her skin was so soft, and it smelt like Lavender.

_Spencer, we have…we have to play the game._ She struggled, as I continued to torture her skin.

Sighing heavily. I pulled back. _Okay, so what do I have to do?_

_Well, first I have to blindfold you._ She pushed me back slightly, so that she could rummage through her side dresser. Pulling out the blindfold, she tied it around my eyes.

_Okay, so then I have to handcuff one of your wrists to mine._

_What!? Madison, what the hell is this!?_

_Shh, it's all part of the game, just relax._

I felt her place one of the cuffs around my left wrist, while she did the same to herself. Tugging on the cuffs, I realized the chain was pretty long.

_Okay, so here's where you come in. Using just your mouth, you have to take off every Candy Cane on my body. So I hope you were paying attention to where they were._

_No, I wasn't, but I like challenge._

I heard shifting on the bed, and I knew she was lying down. I already knew where I wanted to start first, so I used my tongue as a guide, and stopped at those firm breasts of hers. As I slowly used my tongue, I decided to tease her bit. I purposely began to lick at the exposed skin, under her nipple, completely ignoring the Candy cane. The sharp in takes of air, told me that she was thoroughly enjoying this.

_Spencer, your.... your not following the rules._

_You didn't really set any other rules, besides the one about using my tongue, which Im doing right now._ I stated smugly.

Deciding to at least try and attempt to play her little game, I used my tongue to basically spread all over her body until I found the Candy Canes. I took notice to the sounds she made, as my tongue roamed her, stomach, chest, arms, back, ass and legs. My tongue started cramping, but there was only one place left. _Going down on someone, was not on my list of things to do before I die, but I guess there's a first time for everything. _I thought to myself

A loud moan, spilled from her lips, as my tongue "accidently" grazed her clit. The taste was sweet, yet salty, something I would probably have to get used to. Ever time I tried to tug at the candy Cane; my mouth would continue to graze her skin, making her buck. I was about to get it, but she stopped me.

_Oh god! Stop Spencer!_

_What? I almost had it!_

_Forget the fuckin candy, and just fuck me already!_

I was about to reply, but she pulled me on top of her, and crashed our lips together. I was a little shocked, since I didn't think she wanted to taste herself on my mouth. The moan she gasped out, told me otherwise.

I felt her tugging on my underwear, and once they were off, she shifted our positions. _Wait! What about a condom? We always use a condom, and I don't want to take any chances. _

_Don't worry, Im on the pill._ She said in a shaky voice, while lowering herself on top of me. I groaned as she took me into her. She started rocking at fast pace and pinned my hands above my head. I wanted to touch her, to see her, but my blindfold was still on.

_Madison, slow down, I don't think I can hold it much longer! _I was panting, and wiggling my hands, trying to get free.

_Spencer! You batter not fuckin cum! Oh god! I think Im coming!_ She frantically started grinding against me.

_Madison! I think...I think Im bout to_……Suddenly, she let out the loudest scream, making me spill right into her. My body began to spasm uncontrollably, but when we finally came down, she collapsed on top of me.

_Well, any more games?_

She laughed into my shoulder. _There is the Mistletoe game._


	11. Black Out

**Black Out**

It had been about 4 weeks, since that little Candy Cane incident, and me and Madison had sex, maybe four times out of those weeks. During that time, things changed dramatically. Madison had apologized for everything she had done to me, and I hesitated, but accepted. We had broken all the rules. We had developed somewhat of a physical and mental relationship. Sometimes we wouldn't even have sex; we would just hang out or enjoy each others company. I guess you could say we were friends? It surprised a lot of people, including Carmen, who was still kind o skeptical about the whole thing, but she didn't push it. Aiden on the other hand, was ecstatic.

Every time we had sex, I would tell myself it was the last time, but I would end up doing it anyway. Even though I don't want to admit it, I started developing feeling for Madison. What those feelings were? I had no clue, which is one of the reasons why we didn't have sex as much as we used to. I wanted to stop, especially since that day I talked to Ashley.

**Flash back: New Years Eve party.**

Aiden ended up having a News Years party, and pretty much invited everyone, including Ashley. To say that things felt a bit awkward was an understatement. Ashley had invited Devin, the new girl, who had arrived about a mouth ago. She and Devin seemed really close, which kind of irritated me, but I knew I had no right, since I was still fuckin Madison. Devin seemed like an okay person, but I couldn't help the jealousy I felt, whenever she made Ashley laugh or the way she leaned a bit to lose to Ashley. It was nice to see Ash smiling, even if it wasnt because of me. I looked on longingly, until I felt a familiar presence beside me.

_You okay?_ Madison asked as she handed me a drink.

_Yeah, just a bit stuffy in here_. I replied, keeping my gaze on Ashley, while I chugged down the drink.

Madison followed my gaze, and then sighed. _You really shouldn't let her get to you. She knows your looking and she flirting on purpose, trust me._

I didn't reply, just ran my hands through my hair.

_Maybe you should just let it be? I mean you spend all this time, buying her gifts and trying to get her to acknowledge you, but she doesn't. I don't understand why you insist on pursuing her, when it's quite obvious that she is happy and has moved on. Maybe you should do same?_

I whipped my head into her direction. _I'm not gonna move on, because I love her! And I won't stop until I get her back!_

_Love her? Do you really? I find it hard to believe that you love someone, but you're constantly cheating._

_Psst, don't you think that's a little hypocritical of you?_

_True, but I'm not the one who is confused about their feelings. I mean sure, I like Aiden, but Love? I'm afraid that boat has already sailed._

I raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner, but decided not to question it.

_I'm just worried about you Spencer, you spend all this time, trying to get her to forgive you, for whatever you did, but you always come back empty handed._

I inwardly chuckled. _Of course, she wouldn't know that she is the main reason why Im not with Ash._

_Look, Im not trying to be a bitch, Im just trying to help you. Look at her, she seems really happy with Devin, do you really want to take that form her?_

I sighed. Madison was right, Ashley did look happy.

_I can't, I can't just forget about her. Madison, I did something horrible, and to make it worst, I keep cheating on her. I can't stop until I get her back, until she can forgive me._

_Well, if you don't plan on giving up, then why don't you grow some fucking balls and go talk to her? _I felt her push me forward slightly.

_No! Im not gonna talk to her now! It's rude. Can't you see her talking with Devin!?_

_Wow Spencer, never thought of you as a coward, until now._

_Coward!? Im not a coward!_

_Then proof it, proof me wrong._ She flashed me a devilish smirk, challenging me.

_Fine I will! But only because I want to, not because of you!_

_Right, whatever you say._

I quickly chugged down her drink, and took a deep breath. With a shaky breath, I pushed myself off the wall. With each step I took towards Ashley, my hands became clammy and my heart pounded. I had tried talking to Ashley several times, but not directly. I did make a few home visits, but she never answered the door. I always either called her, texted her or wrote letters. I abruptly came to stop a few feet away from her. My mouth went dry, when she met my gaze curiously. From the corner of my eye, I watched as Devin looked on awkwardly.

_Well uh, I think I'll go get us some drinks, okay Ash?_

Ashley nodded, and turned her attention back to me. When Devin left, there was an awkward pause, and I noticed she put her head down.

_Ash?_ She didn't say anything, so I instinctively place my finger under her chin, forcing her gaze back to mine. She gasped and the look on her face broke my heart. She was scared, scared of me.

_Im sorry._ I whispered, removing my finger form her soft skin. She bit her lip, trying to contain the tears that threatened to spill. _Please don't cry._ I thought to myself. I had literally spent hour, thinking about what I would say to her, if she ever gave me the chance, but standing here right now, I was at a loss of words. When I finally got the courage to say something else, the room went completely black. The surprised gasps and screams were blocked out, because my attention was fully on Ashley, who was clutching my arm rather tightly. I enjoyed the feeling of having her next to me, but I had to block that out. I knew Ashley was afraid of the dark, and I smirked at the thought of her still sleeping with a nightlight. I could feel her trembling, and I knew she was crying, so I curiously brought her into a comfortable embrace. To my surprise, she didn't pull away, but actually embraced me tighter. My heart swelled at the feeling. I could hear Aiden asking if everyone was okay, so I took that as my cue.

_Ash, are you okay?_ I whispered closely to her ear, noting the fact that she shivered.

_No, Im…Im scared and I have to use the bathroom._

_Um okay, I can take you, if …you want?_

She didn't reply, just held on to me tighter, so I took that as a yes.

_Okay Ash, Im gonna take you, but I need to leave you for a minute, okay? _She shook her head, motioning a no.

_Please don't, please don't leave me._

Immediately tensed at the words, and my stomach clenched. I gently pushed her back to rest on the wall. Gazing into her eyes, I gently tried to wipe away her fallen tears.

_Ash, Im not gonna leave you…..here, I just need to find a candle or a flashlight._ She nodded and I turned to leave, but she grabbed my hand.

_Promise? _She gave me a worried look that shattered my heart.

_Yes, I promise._ She let go of my hand with a sigh, and I turned once again. Using my cell phone screen as a guide, I stumbled down a hallway. When I came into contact with a hallway cabinet, I began rummaging through it. I was so focused on searching, that I didn't feel a presence behind me, until it grabbed my waist. I already knew who it was, but they still caused me to jump.

_Shit Madison, you scared the hell out of me!_

_Sorry, I thought you felt me or something?_

_No, I didn't flippin feel you coming!_

Jeeze Spencer, calm down! What exactly are you lookin for?

_Im lookin for a candle or flashlight, Ashley afraid of the dark._

_Oh? So I take it everything's good between you two?_

_I wouldn't go that far_. I mumbled to myself.

_Right, well you want me to go ask Aiden?_

_Nope, found it! Thanks anyway._ There was a brief pause.

_Whelp, go get her, tiger! _She pat me on the back.

I quickly made my way back to Ashley, who was completely frozen against the wall.

_Ash?_ I must have scared her, because she jumped, but immediately through herself at me, when she realized it was me. It took me by surprise, and I had to take a minute to regain myself.

_You okay?_ I asked as I pulled back slightly.

_Yeah, I just thought…you wouldn't…._

_Come back?_

_Yeah_

_I promised, didn't I?_

_I know, it just…._

I sighed_. Come on; let's get you to the bathroom_. I took her hand and led the way.

_You didn't see Devin around, did you?_

_No, don't worry, Im sure she's okay_.

When came to a stop, right in front of the bathroom.

_I can wait for you if you want?_ She nodded and took the flashlight. When she came out, we walked down the hallway in an awkward silence. I knew she was still uncomfortable in the dark, so I offered for us to go outside, since it seemed a lot lighter out.

We sat on the wooden deck, in a comfortable silence,

_So uh, you and Devin seem close. Do you…like her?_

_I really don't think that's any of your business._

_Your right, Im sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, just...curious_

Another brief pause.

_You and Madison seem close._ Her voice hinted in what seemed like jealously.

_Yeah well, turns out she's not a bad rock to lean on, if you know what I mean. Oh, I know what you mean, She's not a bad rock to fuck either, is she Spencer?_ _Great! That stupid voice was back again. _ Shaking my head, I stared intently at her, from across the deck. I knew I was making her uncomfortable, but I couldn't help it. Okay Spencer, it's now or never! Wit slow cautious steps, I walk towards her, noting that she tensed. She wasn't looking at me, when I stopped in front of her, but I knew she could feel me. I took a shaky breath.

_Ashley, about what happened….._

_Spencer, please don't._

_No Ash, just let me say this, and after, if you don't want me to bother you, I won't. I'll let….I'll let you go._ I whispered, and noticed the tears that she was about to shed.

_What happened that day, it wasn't me. I wasn't myself. I never wanted to hurt you Ash, and it wasn't my intentions to force myself on you. I was in a very dark place, somewhere I shouldn't have allowed myself to go. I know it's no excuse, and I know I hurt you, badly. It's just…I...and…god! Im sorry! Im so sorry Ash! If I could go back, I would. I would change everything, take the pain away. I know I don't deserve it, but I want another chance. I need you in my life, whether it's as a friend or something more. I just need you._ She began to cry, and I place my hand on her cheek, wiping away the tears.

_Please don't cry, Ash. I know you're happy with Devin, but I can't help the way I feel. I love you as friend and as a lover, so I won't stop fighting, until I have you as either one._

I paused, and she hesitantly placed her hand over mine, which was still on her cheek.

_Then don't, don't stop fighting for me._ My heart soared at her words, and the next thing I know, I leaning in. I thought she would have stopped me, but she seemed to lean in also. When our lips were about to touch, the porch lights came on, startling us. That not what really startled her, it was the look on Devin's face, as she stared wide eyed at the situation.

_Um Ash? You're…your mother just called, she worried. I think…its best if I take you home._

She immediately dropped my hand, and turned before mumbling a _bye._


	12. Dweller Of My Nightmares

**A/N: Okay so, here's the long awaited Ashley chapter. The next chapter will probably be her POV too. Oh, and I need you guys to help me out with the reviews. I'm in a bet with my friend, and if I can get at least 100 reviews on either of my stories, than I get 100 bucks. SO PLEASE PLEASE READ AND REVIEW**!

**Dweller of My Nightmares**

It had been 4 months since that horrible day, and about 2 months since the Blackout. During those 4 months, I spent almost every night crying, trying to figure out why and what had happened. I felt so hollow, so empty inside, and I didn't want to be bothered with. I still went to school, but made sure to steer clear of Spencer. Carmen was constantly trying to get me to tell her what had happened between Spencer and me, but I never told her, I never told anyone. I wasn't sure why I didn't tell anybody, but I think it was because I still cared for her. I should hate her, she took everything from me. But I couldn't, I couldn't allow myself to hate her, because deep down, I still loved her. No matter how much she had hurt me, I still loved her, and I hated myself for that. _Why would she do that to me? Where was she, mentally?_ Those were the questions I constantly dwelled over. I couldn't help but think it was partially my fault. I mean, for a brief second, I let my own lust take over me, and allowed her to manipulate my body. For that brief moment, I wanted her; but when she was about to enter me, I got scared. I didn't want my first time to be in a bathroom stall, it should be perfect, and something you'll remember for the rest of your life. _I guess I don't have to worry about ever forgetting that. _

I tried to tell her that I was still a virgin, but she didn't seem to hear me, and just fully thrust into me. It was the most painful thing I had ever felt. She stopped for a moment and gently started moving her body. It was tender at first, and I felt the pain turn into pleasure, within a few strokes. Then it happened, she did a complete 180, and started thrusting really hard. Her eyes were closed, as I begged her to stop. She seemed so angry at my pleas, and even muffled my screams with her hand. I was terrified, but what really frightened me was her word.

_SHUT THE FUCK UP!....WHAT!? LIKE YOU HURT ME!? THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED RIGHT!? TO FUCK ME!? TO FUCK UP MY LIFE!?....WELL HERE IT IS, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE IT!_

I didn't know what was happening, or what she meant; I just wanted her to stop. I tried pushing her away, but it was no use; she was stronger than me, and my attempts only fueled her anger. When she did finally stop, her demeanor completely changed. My eyes burned with tears, as my mind went catatonic. I heard her gasp in realization, which brought me back to reality. She let me go, mumbling something I couldn't understand, and I immediately slumped to the floor. I could feel the blood running down my thighs, and I couldn't believe what just happened. I felt her shift in my direction, reaching out to touch my arm. My words caused her to flinch, and recoil her hand. To make matters worse, she thought that I wasn't a virgin; that I had gave myself to Aiden. Even if that was the case, it still didn't justify what she had done. I felt weak, vulnerable and I didn't want to see her after that.

For the next couple of months, I completely forced Spencer out of my life. I change my seats, never hung out with the others if she was going to be around, and just completely ignored her. She of course, didn't take the hint, and constantly tried to talk to me. She sent me an unknown amount of texts, phone calls, and letters. She even tried to visit my house a few times, but I never answered. I basically just shut myself in, and shut everyone else out. That is, until Devin came along, and saved me from the empty shell of a life.

Devin had moved here from Wisconsin, about 3 months ago. After volunteering to show her around the school, we instantly develop a friendship. We spent countless hours together, talking, or just hanging out. I knew she wanted to be more than friends, but I wasn't ready for that yet. Don't get me wrong, I like her; she's perfect in everyway. She's smart, funny, kind, very athletic, and hella sexy. I didn't need to see her naked, to know that her body was sick. Sometimes I would just stare at her legs, which were extremely toned; or watch the muscles in her arm flex, as she opened her locker. So yes, I was attracted to her Physical and mentally, but I just wasn't ready for another relationship. To make matters worse, that whole situation in the blackout, made things a bit awkward between Devin and I..

**Flashback: Blackout**

I was already skeptical about the party, because I had a feeling that Spencer was going to be there. Sure enough, she was there, and was constantly staring. I ignored her the best that I could, and focused my attention fully on Devin. She made a comment about Scooby Doo, and it caused me to laugh.

_I'm serious, Velma's totally a lesbo! I can see the way she looks at Daphne. Hell, Id look at her too, she hot! Oh, and don't get me started on Freddie, he such a flamer! I mean, a scarf? Really!?_

_Devin, just because he wears a scarf, doesn't make him gay. It was considered fashionable in the 70's._

_I don't care how "fashionable" it was, no man should ever wear a scarf!_

I just laughed. _Okay, what about Shaggy and Scooby?_ I asked, trying to keep hold my laughter.

_Oh ho ho, they're totally not gay! They're like the perfect rolemodels foe me! Id loved to kick it with them, ya know, smoke some pot? _She put her finger to her lips, as if she was actually smoking.

_What makes you think they're potheads?_

_Oh please! Are you serious!? They're always hungry, a.k.a the "munchies." They're super laid back, but also paranoid. Oh, and have you looked at Shaggy? The way he's_ _dressed? The shaggy hair, hairy chin and that weird ass walk? If that doesn't spell out pothead, then I must be blind?_

_Rrrightt!......Oh, and for your information, Daphne isn't even all that, you can tell she's a total tease! I bet whenever she splits up with Freddie, she doesn't even put out. For him_

_True, but she's still hot to me!_ She leaned into me a bit more, and whispered.

_Don't worry though; she'll never be as hot as you, Ash._

I was about to reply, but something caught my eye. It was Spencer and Madison, and it looked as though, she was about to come over. Sure enough, not a moment after I thought that, she came over. I wanted to run; I wanted hide, but my body wouldn't react. She stopped right and front of me, and I didn't need to look at Devin, to see that she was uncomfortable too. She awkwardly offered to get me a drink. It was her way of trying to avoid any awkwardness, since she knew me and Spencer use to date. Of course, she didn't know why we had broken up, and I didn't plan on telling her.

So I stood there, with my head bowed to the floor I couldn't look at her, it was way too painful. Then she touched me. It was gently, but it still caused me to gasp in surprise, which caused her to recoil her fingers. She whispered a _sorry_, and I instantly wanted to cry. She attempted to say something else, but was cut off, when the lights went out. I absolutely hate the dark, even more so, after that horrible incident. Out of instinct, I clutched on to her arm, which surprised both of us. I felt her embrace me, in which I returned it. I don't know why, but just missed her warmth.

After she offered to take me to the bathroom, I panicked, because I realized she had to leave me in the dark. So I clutched her hand once more. I didn't know why I needed reassurance, or what I meant by the promise; I just wanted her to tell me something. I noticed she hesitated, when she said she wouldn't leave me, and I clutched her hand a bit more. She came back with a flashlight, and then guided me to the bathroom. I honestly didn't need to use the bathroom; I just needed time to compose myself.

I stood there in the mirror, trying to sort my feelings, and what this would all mean at the end of the night. As we walked down the hallway, it finally dawned on me that I hadn't seen Devin, since the blackout. I was a bit worried, but Spencer gave me a little comfort. We decided to go outside on the deck, since it was a lot lighter out there. We stood in silence, not really awkward, but not comfortable either. I could feel her eyes on me, and I really tried not to squirm under her intense gaze. My heart pounded in my chest, as she stopped in front of me. I could feel the determination radiating off of her, and I knew what was coming next. I desperately tried to hold back my tears, as she forced me to remember those horrible memories. I knew she was sorry, and I knew that she wanted to make it right. Deep down, I also wanted her to make it better, to make the pain go away, so I did something that shocked the hell out of both of us. I told her not to give up, to keep fighting for me, because I wanted her to really show me she meant it.

We both knew it was wrong, but next thing I knew, we were both leaning into each other. I wanted to feel her, to feel something, but right before our lips touched, the lights came on. I was literally at a loss of words, as I stared into the awkward and disappointed eyes of Devin. I felt like a total ass-hole. Devin had spent so much time and effort, trying to put me back together, and here I was, about to kiss my ex.

**Devin's car.**

It felt so suffocating, as we drove in silence.

_Devin? Back there, I didn't…._I hesitated, when she gripped the steering, forcing her knuckles to strain.

_Its fine Ash, you don't have to explain anything. It's not like we're committed, right?_ As she said the last part, her voice sounded so distant and broken.

_Devin please? What you saw, it was just spur of the moment. We're not together, we're just…_..I really didn't know what we were anymore.

Devin gave me a weak smile, and grabbed my hand with her right. _Ash, it perfectly fine. I know you still care for her, and if your happy, then Im happy. It's….enough, just having you as a friend._ She gently placed a kiss to my hand.

I wanted so desperately to convince her, to convince myself, that there was nothing going on with me and Spencer; but I wasn't so sure anymore, after that night.


	13. Yes and No

**A/N: Alright so, the whole rape thing took place around October, and this chapter is based around February or March. I started using quotation, since people were a little confused about whether they were talking or thinking....i really hate using them though.**

**Yes and No**

So after the Blackout incident, me and Spencer started off as acquaintances; meaning, we would talk every now and then, or say hi to each other. It was nothing to big, but it was start. We hadn't officially hung out, sat next to each other, or talked privately; it was always whenever the others were around. I didn't want to rush things, and I was still a bit guarded, which is understandable. I could tell the others were relieved that we were at least acknowledging one another, especially Carmen. I even caught Spencer and Devin talking a couple times, which was a relieve all on its own. Things with me and Devin, were back to normal, or as normal as can be expected. We spent a lot more time together and I grew to care for her a lot more, but I still didn't know what to make of our relationship or me and Spencer's.

The buzzing of my phone, caused me to slightly jump out of my thoughts. Locking at the caller Id, I recognized the number as Spencer's. I let a small smile graze my lips, took a deep breath, and answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Uh, Hey Ash." "How are you?"

"I'm good, and yourself?"

"I'm a lot better, now that I'm talking to you."

There was a brief pause, and it like my heart was about to burst through my chest.

"so uh, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?" "But, if you already have plans or something, then you don't have to!" Her nervousness, only caused me to giggle. "What?" "What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry, it's just that...never mind; and yes, I would love to hang out." "Unfortunately, my cars in the shop, but you could come over here, if you want?"

I got a little nervous, when she didn't reply.

"Spencer!?"

"Uh yyeah!" "I mean, of course, I'd love to!" "How about an hour or so, 4:30ish?"

"sounds good, and I'll see you in a bit."

After handing up, I took a look around and noticed the living room was a little messy. For the next 30 minutes, I cleaned the house, took a quick shower and began pacing around like a nervous wreck. The door bell rang, and I almost broke my neck, trying to rush to the door. Taking a nervous breath, I opened the door and was greeted by a nervous smile.

"hey Ash, you look...nice."

"Spencer, I'm wearing my pajamas?"

she just shrugged her shoulder. "You still look nice; you always look nice."

A light blush made its way onto my cheeks. "So, how did you get here so fast?"

"My dad let me borrow his car."

"Oh, So uh, there's really not much to do, but we could watch a movie or something?"

"That's fine." She settled into the couch, while I began setting up the home theatre.

"Nice system, did you guys just get it?"

"Yeah, about a month ago; moms a real big movie freak."

"I can imagine." "Hey, you guys have Avatar!?" "I heard it's a real good movie."

"Yeah, but I haven't watched it yet." "Would you like to watch it?"

"Sure, why not?" There was a brief uncomfortable silence. "So uh, are you and Devin a 'thing' now?"

I sighed heavily. "Spencer, I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"I understand, and I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"Its fine, now are you ready to watch the movie?" She nodded her, while I took my sit next to her.

About halfway through the movie, I noticed Spencer had gradually moved closer to me; she wrapped her arm around my shoulder, causing me to tense.

"Spencer!?" I said in a stern like manner, and she immediately withdrew her arm.

"Sorry, it's out of old habit, I guess."

"Okay, I think it's time we had a little talk." I paused the movie, and noticed she kind of stiffened.

" Spencer, I love you; Ill always love you, but the idea of us getting back together isn't possible, at least not right now. I care about Devin a lot, and it's not fair to her or me." "To answer your question from earlier, its yes and no. Me and Devin are together, but we're also not together; she understands that I care about her, but I'm not ready to have another relationship, okay?"

"Okay, I get it." "So can I at least hold your hand, since you don't want my arm around you?"

"Yes Spencer, you can hold my hand, but only if it's just me and you; I don't want to cause any awkwardness around the others."

"Okay!" She gave me a beaming smile, and immediately took my hand. Our hands remained clasped together, for the remainder of the film. By the time it was over, it was almost 6:30.

"Wow, that was a really good movie!" "I kinda wish I would've seen it in 3.......She trailed off, when her phone began to ring.

"Hello?" "Yeah, I'm still over Ashley's." "What!?" "Oh, come on!" "Why can't he just catch the bus or something!?" "But I just got here!" "Fine!" When she abruptly closed her phone, I gave her a questioning look, as she mumbled incoherent words.

"What was that about?"

"Its Glenn; dad said he could use to car to go to work." I could tell she was rather irritated by the idea.

"I'm sorry, Ash." "I thought we would have a bit more time, but I guess not."

"Its fine, Spencer; you act like we won't see each other again." Her face suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree.

"You mean, you WANT to hang out with me gain?"

"Of course!" " We're friends, right?"

"Yeah, definitely!" "I mean, wow!"

"Well, you better get going; don't want Glenn to be late."

"Uh, yeah, so I'll call you?"

"Or, I'll call you, doesn't matter."

"Right!" "Well, I'll see you later." She started walking towards the door, but quickly turned back to give me a hug. "Sorry, I just really missed this." I was a little taken back, but I returned the hug.

"Okay, I'm really leaving this time." She once again, turned and headed towards the front door.

"Okay Bye!" "Don't forget to call me!"

"Never!" She shouted back, as she opened and closed the door.

Right when I was about to lay back on the couch, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey sexy!" "Whatcha doin?"

"Hey Devin!" "Nothing much, just hung out with Spencer for a bit."

"Oh?" "How was that?"

"It was...nice." "You're....you're not mad, are you?"

"I'm very confident in where I stand with you, Ash; there's no need for me to be mad, because your free to hang out with whomever you choose."

"Thanks Dev, so what are you doin?"

"Well, I just got off of work, so I'm going to go home and shower; after that, I'm going to go pick up this very hot chick and take her out for dinner."

"Oh, do I know this very hot chick?" I decided to play along with her little game.

"Funny you should say that, because she reminds me of you; of course, her but is a little bigger, but hey!?"

"Well, what time should this hot chick be read?"

"Wow, you sure sound kind of convinced that its you." She started giggling like a school girl. "Well, that's good, cuz it was you; let's see, it takes me awhile in the shower, so I guess around 7:30ish?"

"Okay, I'll see you then." "Oh, and for your info, my but is plenty big, thank you!"

"Trust me Ash, you don't have to tell me anything, because I look at it all the time." She must of knew that I was blushing, because she started laughing again.

"Okay, okay.....I'll see you in a bit." "Oh, and where something sexy; preferably , something that shows off your big booty." With that last statement, I blushed and quickly hung up the phone.


	14. Vanilla sky

**Vanilla Sky?**

**Madison's POV**

I was laying in my bed, just thinking about my life. Me and Spencer's "relationship" was on a friendly basis. It at been awhile since we had did anything, and truthfully, I didn't miss it; I just missed her. We still hung out, occasionally, but not as much as I would have liked; ever since the blackout, her main focus has been on Ashley. I keep telling myself that it's a good thing; Spencer's happy, so I should be happy, right? I honestly don't even know anymore; it's like I want her to be happy with Ashley, but I can't help feeling hurt, since I know that our relationship is meaningless. I don't want to be selfish anymore, so I'm gonna put aside my own wants, and help Spencer. My phone began to vibrate, causing me to leave my deep inner thoughts; it was a text from Spencer.

**Sexmonkey101**: what's up dick hacker?

**SexnCandi:** Nothin pencil-dick.

**Sexmonkey101:** Riiight! We both know that isn't my case. (wink) Feel like hangin? I'm at the house, and I'm hella bored. (puppy dog pout)

**SexnCandi:** (eye roll) What? You're not hangin with Ashley today?

**Sexmonkey101:** Lol! Nah, she has a "date" with Devin.....and is that Jealousy I smell? (toothy grin)

**SexnCandi:** Sorry, but that's your ass your smellin......and I'm not doin anything, so yeah, we can chill.

**Sexmonkey101:** Wow! My ass must smell really good! Lmao! Seriously though, I'll be there in a hour or so.

Placing my birth control pill inside the water glass, I lifted it towards my mouth but was cut short, when the door bell rang. I sighing out of frustration, I sat the glass down, and made my way to the front door. I could tell by the obnoxious ringing, that it was Spencer. Opening the door I was greeted with a sly grin.

"Do you really need to do that?" "I'm pretty sure I heard the first ten times!" She just shrugged her shoulders and let herself in.

"Hope you don't mind, but I told my parents I was staying the night."

"What!?" "Why would you tell them that?" "Don't they like, hate me?" "What if they think we're doing something!?"

"Relax, they never knew I broke up with Ash, so I know they don't suspect anything between us; besides, we're just hanging out." "As for the whole 'you made my life a living hell'; it's cool, I told them we were friends.....we are friends, right?"

"Of course, it's just, I didn't want them to be all suspicious about us."

"Right, well no worries."

"Whatever, so what do you wanna do?"

"I don't know; we could order takeout and watch one of your gay-ass movies." She gave me a cheeky grin.

"Right well, you go pick out a gay-ass movie, since you would know all about that, and I'll go order some Chinese?"

"Sounds good...oh, don't forget to order some Lo Mein, I love that stuff!"

I quickly order the food, and made my way back to the Living room. Spencer was looking through the movie collection, and I noticed a rather large bottle of.....Cherry Three Olives.

"Spencer, why and where did you get that?" She slightly turned and gave me an innocent look.

"I thought we could celebrate?" "I got it from a reliable source."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What exactly are we celebrating?"

She shrugged her shoulder. "Don't know; life, friendship and the fact that Ashley is talking to me?"

I had to roll my eyes at that one, but I couldn't help but smile also. "If you say so, Spencer."

I took my spot on the couch, and put my feet up onto the small coffee table. After spending an unnecessary amount of time looking through the DVD's, she finally picked Vanilla Sky.

"Really Spencer, Vanilla sky?" " I knew you were gay, but really?"

"Hey!" You're the one who has it in their collection, so who's the gay one now!?" "Besides, it not that bad of a movie." She took a seat next to me, and put her head in my lap. The gesture caused me to tense a little, and I think she noticed.

"This...this is okay, right?" "You're not uncomfortable?"

"No, its fine, you just caught me off guard, is all."

She snuggled closer, then reached for her paper cup; reaching for mine, as well.

Stopping to retrieve the food, we paused the film, and made small conversation as we ate; we continued the film after we stuffed our facing. By the time the film was over, it was 6:45, the Three Olives was halfway gone, and my stomach felt like it was going to burst. Spencer was still in my lap, and I could feel little wet droplets on my legs.

"Spencer, are you.....crying?"

"No!" She sniffed , then turned her head out of my gaze.

"Yes, yes you are!" "I can feel and hear it!" I started laughing at my realization. "Oh my god!" "Your crying cuz of the movie!?'

"Nuh uh!" "Its...it's the alcohol, it makes me very emotional!"

"Righhht, whatever you say!" "What do you wanna watch now?"

"Mmm....lets watch something scary!"

**Next Morning.**

I awoke with a mean headache, taste of alcohol in my mouth, and an unusual amount of extra weight on me. Sitting up slightly and adjusting my eyes, I was greeted with a half naked Spencer, who was laying horizontally across my bed. I furrowed my brows in confusion, and tried thinking about what happened last night. All I could remember was laughing, stumbling up the stairs, screaming over the Exorcist, drinking, and tickling Spencer; everything else was a blur. I wasn't quite sure if we had did anything, but looking at Spencer, and then gazing upon my own naked body; I confirmed it. I didn't even remember us doin it, but I could still smell it on the sheets; a mixture of sweat, alcohol and sex. I groaned and turned towards my alarm clock; I immediately panicked as I read the numbers, 9:45am.

"Shit!" "Spencer, get up!" " You have to leave!"

"What!?" "Why?" She mumbled, wiping her eyes with her hands.

"Because, my mom's coming home in 20minutes, from work!"

"So?"

"So, I don't think she would take to kindly to walking in on her daughter and a half naked Spencer!"

"I thought you told her I was spending the night?" "Uh, why am I naked again?"

"Look, I didn't tell her it was you spending the night; she thinks its Alicia!"

"Why'd you tell her that?" "Does she not like me or something?"

I huffed. "Don't take this the wrong way, but she doesn't like anything with a penis talking to me; which refers to all boys and you."

"Not even Aiden?" "And you told her about my penis!?"

Yes, she doesn't like me to be around anything with a penis, because of the risk of pregnancy and whatnot. Technically I didn't tell her, per say; she just heard it around town.

"Yeah, because you blabbed about it!"

"Yeah, okay, its inadvertently my fault!" "Now, can you please get your ass up!" "She'll be here soon, and I need to get ready to meet Aiden for breakfast!"

"Oh yeah right, because you unintentionally told half the school I have a penis." She said sarcastically."I thought you said she didn't like Aiden?" "And you still haven't told me, why I'm naked?"

"Uh!!!" "Why do you think, Spencer!?" "We had sex Spencer!" "And yes, she dislikes Aiden along with any other male, which is why I'm going to meet up with him!"

She silently mouthed the word "oh," and I through a pillow at her, out of frustration. "Let's go!"

She quickly got dressed, but I couldn't let her out the front, since my mother just pulled into the driveway.

"Come on!" I dragged her toward the kitchen.

"Where are we going?" "The front doors that way."

"I know where the front door is!" " My mom's out there, so you have to use the back door." I said, as I shoved her through the back door.

"What?" "No breakfast for me?" She said in an amused voice.

"Goodbye, Spencer!" Before she could retort, I slammed the door into her face.

"Fine, I'll call you later!" She yelled, as I made my way into the dining room; just before my mother opened the door.

"Mija, you're up early?" " Did Alicia leave already?"

"Yeah, she left about 10 minutes ago." "How was work?"

She let out a tired sigh. "Uh!" "It was so busy; it seemed like everybody wanted to get hurt last night."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, mami." "You want me to run you a bath?"

"Oh, si, si, gracias mija." "So, how was everything last night?" I slightly tensed, but quickly recovered.

"It was.....interesting, I guess."

**A/N: Uh oh, I smell trouble! Its begins with p and ends with ill; I really wished she would have remembered that pill, don't you? Lmao!**


	15. Like Dominos

A/N: Lol, you guys really make me laugh, you know that? Alright, so if you haven't already guessed, Madison is pregnant. Yeah, I know some of you are disappointed but what can I say? I like drama, but more importantly; I like Madison! Lmao!

**Like Dominos**

**April 14, 2010**

It's been about a month since my last period, but that's not what really has me on edge. It's completely normal for a girl to be irregular every now and then, but when your irregular AND throwing up, that's when you want to worry. I mean, the odds of me being pregnant are slim, because me and Aiden haven't had sex in like two months, in addition; vie been taking my pills regularly. The most me and Aiden have done is probably oral sex or fondling, so I can't be pregnant, right? WRONG! That's what I thought, until I went to the doctors last week.

"Okay Madison, the easy part is over, so now we have to make sure everything's working okay down there." It was my yearly check up with my OBGYN, and my doctor, Mr. Greene, was always a little to happy to do his job. He started making idle conversation, which was a bit awkward since his hand was up my freaking Vag!

"Mmmm, when did you say your last period was?"

"Ummm, I think it was sometime at the end of February? Why, is something wrong?"

"Well, Ive discovered the reason why that is." My stomach churned, and my heart pounded against my chest. _Please don't say what I think he's gonna say!_ "And uh, what reason might that be?" I asked nervously, clutching onto the edge of the examination table.

"Looks like you're about a month and a half pregnant." That one word, "pregnant," sucked the air out of my lungs.

"WHAT!"

"Please calm down, Madison." "Do you remember the day you conceived?"

"Well, obliviously it was a month and a half ago, so you do the math!" I sighed. "I don't understand how this could have happened? I haven't had sex in almost two months, and I always take my pill!"

"B.C isn't always a hundred percent reliable. Did you use a condom?"

"I don't remember, because we were drunk; it doesn't matter though, because it was with a girl."

"Oh, well that's uh…interesting." There was a brief pause, and I debated whether I should tell him the full situation.

"Well, technically it was with a he?" He raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner. _You would think he would get the picture, since he is a doctor and whatnot._

"She has both, okay!"

"Oh.....OH! Wow, that's really something."

"You don't think…I mean, it's not possible for her to impregnate somebody, right?"

"Madison, that depends on a lot of factors, which require a lot of tests; but in today's society, I wouldn't say it's unlikely."

"But, but she doesn't even have testicles!"

"Well, evidently she does, but they might not have descended.

"Whaa….but..but……I couldn't believe what I was hearing; with that one piece of information, my whole world just collapsed like a bunch of Dominos.

"So, since you said you had sex with this man/women, it's most likely that she's or he is the father?"

"That's the only person with a penis Ive ever slept with, besides my boyfriend of course, but he and I haven't done anything in like two months."

"I see. Well, I think its best that you tell the father; they might want to know."

"I highly doubt that; we kind of have a weird relationship."

I sighed. "This is not happening! What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I can't have a baby!"

"There are other options, like abortion?"

"I don't have that kind of money, and if I did, imp not so sure I would be able to go through with it."

"You could always do adoption? Its safer, but either way, you have to stop taking those pills."

So many things were running through my head; Aiden, my mom, school and Spencer fuckin Carlin. I know ill have to tell everyone, but I need more time. I just got Spencer back as a friend, and I don't want to lose her.

**Present: April 26, Ashley Pov**

I was walking down the hall with Devin; she had soccer practice after school and I had a brief meeting with the cheer squad.

"So, Proms coming up in a week or so. Are you going?"

I don't know, I still waiting for this really hot girl to ask me, but I guess she doesn't have the balls." I said playful, which earned me a slight push.

"Well, what can I say? Im not really in to hairy balls, I prefer the opposite."

Righhtttt, well are you gonna ask me or what!

"Ashley Davies, will you go to prom with me."

"Im not sure, you don't sound too convincing." I smiled as she got on her knee, and reached for my hand.

"Pretty please, with cherries on top? Or you, whichever you prefer; I'm not really a bottom, but I guess I can make an exception for you."

Ugh! Alright, ill go if you'll stop turning every conversation into something sexual."

"Awe, but I thought you like my dirty talk?" She gave my butt a little pat, so I playfully shoved her.

"Aren't you gonna be late for practice?"

"Yeah, I should probably get going, or the coach will have me running laps the whole time."

"Yeah me too. We're supposed to meet in the Gym, so ill call you later."

"Wait! Don't I get a good luck kiss?"

"You're really pushing your luck, you know that?"

"Yeah, but you love it!" "Now if don't mind, id really like that kiss." She turned her head so that her cheek was inches away from my lips. I moved forward, but she quickly turned and my lips colliding with hers instead. I was going to pull back, but she was a really good kisser. Somewhere in between kissing, she ended up pinned against the locker, with my tongue shoved down her throat. A forced cough put an end to our extra curricular activity.

"Uh Madison! I was just going to meet up with you, but I got a little…

"Tongue tide?" She looked between me and Devin, with a smirk plastered on her face.

"Yeah, well ill call you later, so we can talk about Prom." Devin gave me a kiss on the cheek, and thin flashed Madison a cheeky grin.

"So, you and Devin, huh?

"Yeah, something like that." "I honestly didn't really plan on going to Prom, but I like her." "Are you and Aiden going?"

"Yeah, we're supposed to be wearing Cyan or purple. She stated non-chalantly, as we walked down the hallway.

"Spencer said she might be going with Carmen, so that should be hilarious; we can always expect a laugh or two, whenever they get together. Suddenly, Madison stopped and began holding her stomach.

"Madison, are you okay?" She blinked a couple of times, then her eyes got big; frantically looking around, she ran towards a garbage can and started throwing up.

I held her hair back, as she continued to regurgitate. After a few moments she stopped, and slumped to the ground. She started sobbing, so I took a seat next to her.

"You're pregnant." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"Yeah, what gave me away?" She asked in an amused tone, while she rested her head against my shoulder.

"Lets just say that im very perceptive. Does Aiden know?"

"No. I know I have to tell him, but Im scared."

"Do you want me to help you?"

"No, you've already done enough by listening; this is something I have to do by myself."

"It'll be okay." I knew that probably wasn't the case, but I felt like I needed to say something, even if it was a lie.

"No Ash, it won't."


	16. Why Cant I?

**Why Cant I?**

**Madison Pov**

I was pacing around my room, debating whether I should call Spencer or not. I knew that once I told her about the baby and my feeling, everything would change, and I doubt it would be a good change; she would most likely flip out, so with that thought in mind, I wanted to try to cherish this day, because everything would go down hill from here. Picking up the phone, I dialed Spencer's cell-phone.

"Hey, Madison! What's up?"

"Spencer, I really need to see you; I ..I really need you."

"Madison, I don't think we can….

"Please?" I was on the verge of tears, so my voice slightly cracked.

"Alright, ill uh be there around Six, okay?

"Spencer, I lov..I uh see you."

"Okay, Ill see you Madison."

I hung up the phone, and exhaled deeply. She said six, so that gave me about two hours to get ready.

**Spencer Pov**

I felt this weird feeling in my stomach, when I heard Madison; she sound so…broken and that made me feel kind of bad.

"Spencer! Are you paying attention?"

"Yeah!" Carmen gave me a skeptical look, so I sighed. "No, not really, but what were you saying?"

"I asked about this dress! What do you think about it?"

"Carmen, it fine!" "We've been shopping for like three hours; you've tried on at least twenty dresses and out of the twenty, you've pick three, so do us all a big favor and just pick one already!"

"Jeeze! No need to get all bitchy!" "We still haven't picked out a tux for you."

"Yeah, well it's gonna have to wait until tomorrow; I have to go see Madison."

"Oh? Was that her on the phone?" She asked, taking off her clothes.

"Yeah, that was her and she sounded really sad, so Im gonna go cheer her up. "Jesus, Carmen! Do you really have to do that in front of me!"

"Oh please honey! You know you like these tatas!" She said in a playful voice, while flashing me her tits.

"Uh, no thank you, Ill have to pace on that." _What s the matter Spencer? You prefer Madison's instead?_ Great, I thought I got rid of that annoying fucking voice!

"Well, how come Aiden isn't with her?" "And not to be a bitch or anything, but what do you guys do?"

Fuck! Carmen is way too curious! "I don't know where Aiden is, and we pretty much do the same things you and I do.

_Psst, so now you're telling me that you fuck Carmen too, now?"_

"Ugh! Fuck off! Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Spencer, who the hell are you talking too?"

"What! No one, I mean myself!" "Look, I uh gotta go, so ill see you tomorrow."

"Alright, if you say so, but you really need to stop talking to yourself; people might think you're crazy."

_Madsion Pov_

I quickly took a bath, and wrapped myself into my bathrobe. I heard a knock at my door, so I began lighting the candles, and then took a seat on the bed.

"Come in." The door slowly opened, revealing the one person I truly tried not to care for; Spencer. I tried to be just friends, and I tried not to be selfish, because I knew how she felt about Ashley, but I can't help the way I feel; I need her. I watched her eyebrows rise in astonishment.

"Wow Madison! You've really out done yourself." "What's uh, what's the occasion?" She sat on the edge of the bed, using those piercing blue orbs to look through my soul. The intensity of the stare caught me in a daze, until she cleared her throat.

"So, did you and Aiden have a fight or something?"

"Not really, I just…missed you." She seemed a bit taken back by the statement.

"Yeah, uh me too. Im really sorry we haven't had time to hang out, it's just…..

"Ashley?" I really didn't need to guess, because we both knew the answer; she nodded anyway though.

"Spencer_, _I.._ just fucking tell her!_ I uh, need you!"

She sighed. "Madison, we can't keep doin this; I really want things to work with Ash."

I sat up slightly, placing both hands on her face, and gently placed a kiss on her lips. I held it for a moment, while she placed her hands on my forearms. I pulled back, and noticed she blinked a couple of times.

**Spencer Pov**

When Madison kissed me, it felt different; it wasn't a bad feeling, but it caught me off guard. She pulled back, and I saw something in her eyes; it felt like all her emotions were swirling in those brown orbs.

"I know." She finally replied, capturing my lips again, but this time I responded. I shifted slightly, so that she could straddle me, and let my hands roam under her bathrobe. Our movements were slow and deliberate; something I wasn't use to with Madison. I had never really taken the time to actually revel in the feel of Madison; everything was always rough or just rushed. And when our lips touched, I realized just how much I had missed her. That thought freaked me out, but it also made my heart feel funny.

Without breaking contact, she guided me down to the bed; she started working on my neck, as her hands found their way towards the edge of my shirt. She was about the lift it up, but I stopped her.

"Madison, what are yo….she silenced me with her lips. "Please don't talk, just feel, okay?" She mumbled against my lips, and I just nodded in response. Her hands continued to lift up the shirt, until it was up and over my head. I rarely wore a bra, since I was only like a b-cup. She tentatively touched my breast, and I immediately bucked my hips at the feeling. _Okay, something's definitely wrong, because she never touch me like this before._

She got into a good rhythm, and I felt myself grow more aroused, with each gentle caress of her hands. I think she must have noticed my "happiness," because her hand stared trailing lower; my stomach contorted, as her hands glided over the skin. _God, this pace is so agonizingly good!_ I breathlessly watched as she undid my zipper; there was something reflecting in her eyes, but I couldn't figure out what it was. She tugged down my underwear and pants, and then stood up so that she could undress from her robe; she was naked underneath. I kicked off my shoes, shimmied out of my pants, and awaited for her next movement. I didn't have to wait long, because she soon straddled me again, and my mouth sought out those cherry flavored lips. Her hands were woven through my hair, as I licked sucked and bit at her lip. I accidently rubbed up against her, and we both let out a straggled moan at the feeling. She gently pushed me down, and reached for a condom on her bedside table. (A/N: I know its kind of pointless, but whatever.) I squirmed and let out a giggle, when she put it on me; Im very ticklish.

I arched my back and clutched the sheets, as she guided me into her; it had been so long since when had sex that my body involuntarily began to tremble with need. Seeking out my hands, her body arched into mine, and her hips began to rock; the feel of her skin flushed against mine, was a whole nother experience in itself. She let go of my hands, and my hips started moving frantically, trying to find more friction. I shifted so that I was on top, and those unfamiliar eyes were still gazing into me; they were so intent, so unknown to me. That funny feeling in my chest got tighter, and I desperately wanted to know what was happening. _What is she thinking? Why does this feel so different, and why are her eyes so unfamiliar to me? _As these thoughts plagued my mind, I unconsciously started pumping faster, until her voice brought me out of my daze.

"Spencer…go slowly." I sat there dumbfounded, but complied. _This is wrong, its not suppose to be like this; it's supposed to be fast and rough, not gentle and slow_. She wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me deeper into her. Everything about this just seemed so different. My hands felt like liquid against her skin, her touched were feather like, and she seemed to have this unknown radiance; she was like an enigma to me. I felt her walls contracting, that familiar tightening made its way to my groin; we were both so very close. My eyes began to close, but the feel of her hands against my cheek, forced them open

"Spencer, don't close your eyes….please don't leave me here by myself."

"Madison, I haven't gone anywhere."

"No, but when you do that, when you close you eyes, it feels like your not here with me."

I was confused; almost terrified, because I had no clue what was going on. She suddenly arched forward, straddling me again; that simple movement caused her body to tremble, and we clutched onto each other, as we were hit with the most intense orgasm. Moans echoed throughout the room, as our muscles spasmed. Her moans turned into to whimpers, which alarmed me so I tried to pull back, but she wouldn't let me.

"Don't!" She whispered, clutching me tighter. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Madison, you know I cant, it's a school night." "What's happening? Why are you crying?" I asked, when I finally managed to pull back; I pushed back some or her hair, but she wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Please tell me what's wrong?" I forced her gazed upon mine, and stared into her clouded eyes.

"You." She whispered, and I leaned forward a bit, trying to decipher what she had said.

"You okay! You're what are wrong with me!" She practically bellowed, capturing my face into her hands. I sat there confused, trying to figure out what she was talking about; a gasp escaped my mouth, when I to a realization. I finally figured out what those eyes held. She wasn't reflecting lust or desire; it was love. It all made sense, the touches, her eyes, and even her words; Madison was in love with me_. HOLYSHIT!_

Spencer, I…I cut her off, before she could finish

"Don't! Don't fuckin say it!"

"But I…

"No, you don't!" "Whatever you think you feel, its not love!" You love Aiden and I love Ashley!"

"Fuck you Spencer! Don't fuckin tell me how I feel!" She roughly pushed herself off of me, causing me to fall back.

"If you love Spencer so much, then why have you been cheating on her for the past couple of months?" "I love you Spencer, and I know you feel something for me."

I wanted to protest, but I couldn't; she was right, did feel something, but I didn't know what it was.

"What does she have that I don't!"

"She has…she has my heart."

She scoffed. You do realize that she's with Devin?"

I didn't reply.

"Why can't you see that she doesn't want you? That I want you!" "It hurts me every time that yo……

"Hurt! Really! That's pathetic, not to mention hypocritical!" She was silent.

"Hurt Madison! What did you expect!" "What have we been doing to our friends! To Aiden, and Ashley!" "Trust me Madison; you don't know the meaning of hurt like I do."

"That's not fair, Spencer! I apologized for that!" She was sobbing now.

"Yeah well, it still doesn't change the fact that it hurt; that we're hurting them."

It was silent, as I began getting dressed. _God, I hate myself! I hate hurting her like this, but this, our relationship, it just cant happen._

"Why? Why can't I love you?" _Because, you already had your chance_. I sighed, and slowly made my way towards her. "You can love me, just not that way." "It's wrong; all of this is wrong, and we can't keep hurting people." I replied, gently wiping away her tears and placing a kiss to her forehead. She pulled away from my touch, and began shaking her head and clutching onto herself.

"I tried to be your Ashley and I tried just being friends, but I can't; I can only be me, and clearly that's not good enough."

My stomach clutched tightly; I knew what was coming next.

"I can't just have you as a friend, so I think its best that we don't see each other at all."

"Madison, please don't!" I stepped forward, but she recoiled her body.

"Please leave." Tears were flowing down her cheek, and her body was trembling. I didn't want it to end like this, but I didn't want to be selfish either; she loved me, and trying to remain friends would be hard for her, no matter how much I wanted to.

"Okay, I understand." I mumbled, making my way to the door. "Take care of yourself." My throat was on fire, I felt boxed in, and so I needed to get out of there.

After walking out, I leaned against her door, trying to gather my emotions. I heard her muffled cries, and I hated myself even more; I hate what I did to her, what I did to myself. I could feel the tears building, and my throat tightened even more.

_This was so fuck up!_


	17. Friday Night Fever

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, I was a bit depressed, so I didn't really feel like writing. But on a brighter note, you guys really make me laugh. And I apologize to all you Ashley/Spencer fans, but I had to do it! Hope you can forgive me… lmao! Oh, this part of the story will probably be two parts, one with Madison Pov and the other of Spencer's Pov. Please read and review!**

**Friday Night Fever**

**Madison's Pov**

Just as I expected, everything was going down hill; I desperately tried to hold in my sobs, but my resolve was cracking with each passing moment.

She was getting dressed, but I didn't want her to leave, not like this.

"Why, why can't I love you?" She sighed heavily, and then made her way over to me.

"You can love me, just not in that way. It's wrong; all of this is wrong, and we can't keep hurting people." She caressed my face, wiping away my tears and placed a gentle kiss to my forehead. It wasn't enough, I wasn't good enough; I knew it was selfish, but I couldn't just be friends with her.

I clutched onto myself, trying to calm my trembling body, and began shaking my head. "I tried to your Ashley, and I tried to be your friend, but I can't; I can only be me, and clearly that isn't good enough." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her body stiffen, and she began clenching her fists. The next few word that flew out of my mouth completely shattered me. I didn't want things to turn out like this, but I didn't want to keep hurting people; I didn't want to hurt anymore.

"I think, I think its best that we don't see each other at all anymore."

"Madison, please don't!" She took a step towards me, but I arched away from her touch. "Spencer, please leave." Those words felt so foreign to me, and I felt the tears flowing down continuously. She stood there in a daze for a moment, as if she were having an inner debate with herself. She then clenched and unclenched her fist a few more times before bringing her gaze to the floor.

"Okay, I understand." She turned around and made her way to the door, only to stop few feet away, and replied. "Take care of yourself." And just like that, she was out the door and out of my life forever.

"I'm pregnant." I said out loud, as if she were still in the room.

So no, this wasn't how thing were supposed to happen; I just wanted to tell her how I felt and about the baby. But if she didn't want me, then she most certainly didn't want the baby, so there's no point in trying to tell her now. I still wasn't sure about what I was going to do about the baby. Part of me wants to keep it, so that I will always have a part of Spencer, but I don't know how to take care of a baby; I can hardly take care of myself, let alone a baby. To matters worse, I don't have a job and Im still in school.

I laid there with these thoughts plaguing my mind; knowing that the only way I would sleep that night, was if I let the tears wash over me.

**Two days later: Friday**

Tonight is Prom night, and while everyone else is happy about it, Im dreading the thought of running into Spencer. I've done a pretty good job at avoiding any situation that would have to deal with her, but I find it kind of hard not to want to look for her or talk to her, especially when we have a few classes together. She's always with Ashley of course, but I still feel her eyes on me during class or in the hallways; I've met her gaze a couple times, but I can never hold it for long because it hurts. Yesterday, I sat with Aiden at her table, and she watched me the whole time. I started to feel a bit uneasy so I excused myself to the bathroom; Ashley gave me this all knowing look. She was the only person that knew about my little situation, and she swore secrecy. I felt really bad because she was so loyal to me, and I had been fooling around with Spencer behind her back.

The vibrations of my phone brought me out of my thoughts. It was a text from Aiden, saying that he was waiting for me outside. I quickly checked myself in the mirror, straightened out my Cyan colored dress, and made my way to the door.

When I opened the door, Aiden was standing there with a bouquet of flowers and a corsage; he looked really handsome in his tux. It was black, but his vest matched my Cyan colored dress.

"Wow, you look really good Madison!" He gave me a charming smile, to which I sincerely returned.

"Thank you; you don't look to bad yourself, Aiden. He held out his arm for me, and we began walking towards the Limo.

"So, who's all joining us in the Lim….my words got caught in my throat, when the door opened, revealing Spencer. She was wearing a tight fitted Tux that clung to her curves, which surprised me a bit. The tux was black, with a deep red vest underneath her jacket. Her hair was down and neatly curled. When I looked towards her feet, I inwardly smirked; she was wearing a pair of Black Chucks with red skull designs on them. All in all, she looked really cute. Her eyes seemed to sparkle as she took in my appearance, and I tried not to squirm under her gaze; she knew how much I cared for her and yet, it seems like she's taunting me with those eyes. Her face may have been emotionless, but her eyes conveyed everything. The lust, the longing, and I even thought I saw a bit of love in those eyes, but I just chocked it up to my imagination.

I don't know how long we stood there staring at each other, but it must have been a little too long because Aiden began waving his watch in my face.

"Is everything okay? If so, we should probably be heading out, don't want to be late."

I blinked a couple times, and then nodded my head. I inhaled deeply, as I climbed past Spencer and took my seat in the Limo; it smelt like her. I looked around, and noticed that everyone except Ashley, Devin and Glenn was there; Aiden said that Glenn had to work, and Ashley and Devin decided to take Devin's car.

Clay and Chelsea looked nice together; they chose a peach like color for their theme. Carmen looked….stunning; her dress was also deep red, it was v-cut, showing off the apex of her breast and a little of her stomach. Her sides were also visible, and I got the impression that her back could also been seen. It was the first time I had ever seen her in a dress, and it did her justice. The top of her hair was in a small bump, but the rest just flowed down her back and shoulders.

We all made idle conversation, except Spencer, who was currently staring holes into the side of my face. _Please stop looking at me, it hurts too much._

We finally arrived at the huge Dining Hall, Downtown. When I got out, I took a deep breath, trying to wash away her scent. That had to be one of the slowest and most awkward rides of my life.

The hall was packed, and we literally had to squeeze our way through hundreds of sweaty bodies, just so we could get in. Ashley and Devin were already there, dancing; they looked happy, which is more than I could say for myself.

The "guys" stood around for the first half, just drinking and chatting about god know what. Well, Aiden and Clay were talking, and Spencer was either looking at me or looking at Ashley the whole time. I needed to take my mind off of her, so I pulled Aiden to the dance floor. Most of the songs had a fast tempo, but I tried to go slowly so that I wouldn't exert myself; the last thing I needed was to either be puking everywhere or end up past out on the floor. The next song was slow, and I noticed everyone else joined in. Aiden guided us in a slow rhythm that somehow put me right into Spencer's line of vision; she stared at me, unblinking, so I clutched onto Aiden in response. (A/N: Wasn't sure how to describe it, so just think about the dance scene from Love and Basketball; I was watching it when I wrote this.) _Why are you doing this? Can't you see that you're hurting me?_ My body started to tremble under her piercing gaze, and I started feeling dizzy.

"Madison, are you okay?" My breathing began to pick up, my palms were sweaty, and I felt that familiar ache in my stomach. "Yeah Im fine, I just need to use the restroom."

I quickly made my way through the many bodies blocking the path to the bathrooms; I was so glad that the room was empty. My stomach clenched and next thing I knew, I was on my knees with my head hovering over the toilet bowl. After I did my business, I closed the toilet seat, and sat on top of it; my head was spinning so I carefully placed it on my lap.

I sat there for a couple of minutes, and then finally came out of the stall. I let out a surprised gasp, when I looked upon Spencer. She was leaning against the sink, her arms were crossed and she had a concerned look on her face. I don't know how long she was standing there; I didn't even hear the door open or close.


	18. Friday Night Fever Pt 2

**A/N: Wow, it's been like what? A month or so? That's a long time, and I'm not gonna say anything but sorry. I'm so sorry for the delay, but here it is and I hope you enjoy it! Please read and review! **

**Friday Night Fever pt 2**

Two days; it's been two agonizingly sleepless days and I can't seem to get Madison out of my head. My dreams are filled with her; every time I close my eyes or try not to think of her, I think of her anyway. I find myself constantly looking for her at school; just trying to get a glimpse of her or see how's she's doing, but she avoids me. I want to forget her, to forget and act like nothing happened or like I don't care, but I can't.

I constantly think back on her words that night; how she said she loved and wanted me, and I honestly don't know why I reacted that way. She basically poured her heart out to me and I just stomped on it. The one thought that really plagues my mind is when she asked me why she couldn't love me, and when I told her why, I meant every word but at the same time, I wanted her to love me…to a certain extent. Love is all I've ever really wanted, but whether it's from Madison or Ashley, I always seem to fuck things up. I do find it kind of ironic how I wanted Madison two years ago, when I moved here, but she didn't want me; now after all this time she wants me and I really don't know what to do or think anymore. Things have become completely confusing and complicated; somewhere deep down, I'm started think my conscience was right….everything was about to blow up in my face.

**Prom Night **

Things were more than a little awkward between Madison and I, especially when we picked her up in the limo. When I got out to let her in, I just stood there looking like an idiot; I wasn't trying to stare at her on purpose, and I could tell by her solemn look that I was hurting her, but I couldn't stop.

I was aware that she was uncomfortable during the limo ride and she was doing her best to avoid eye contact, but I couldn't just NOT stare at her; she looked really beautiful. She looked somewhat pale, and the skin underneath her eyes were puffing; she had been crying , no doubt, but even with all of that, she still looked nice. It seem like a lot of emotions were playing through my head; longing, sadness, lust and something I couldn't quite place.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time at the Prom, everyone except for me that is. I tried to enjoy myself, but it difficult knowing that you're constantly hurting someone. I tried focusing my attention on Ashley, who was with Devon, and I have to admit that they looked nice together. They chose a simple black and white theme, but they somehow manage to make it look more than ordinary. It was working for a while, but my eyes would constantly betray me, and my attention would once again be focused on Madison, who seemed to be deep in thought at the moment. I chose a different tactic; I chose to busy my mind with Carmen and idle conversation.

"Devon's supposed to be having a after party at her house, you going?"

I didn't REALLY want to go, but I could tell by the look Carmen was giving me that I had no choice. " Yeah….probably." That earned me a huge shit-faced grin, and I sighed at her over eagerness.

I watched Madison pull Aiden to the dance floor, and I kind of laughed at Aiden's attempts to dance, because he had no rhythm what so ever. A few songs had passed and gradually, everyone else started to join in. I was so focused on Madison that I didn't realize how close I had managed to get to her; the way I was facing gave me a good view, and at first she was staring at me intently but also sadly, but then she just left.

"Spencer, I swear to god….if you don't remove your hands from my ass…

"what! Oh, shit….I'm sorry, I didn't even realize I was doing that!"

"Uh huh, oh and you might want to take care of that little problem down there." I looked at her like she was retarded and noticed she was staring at my crotch; that's when I finally realized what she was referring to.

I made an attempt to cover myself with my hand, but it was futile; her giggles weren't making the situation any better either.

"Oh shut it!...I'm going to the restroom."

" Rightttt…..just make sure you wash your hands afterwards, cuz I don't want no knuckle babies on me!" I flipped her off, which only put her in more fits of giggles.

I moved through the swarm of hot sweaty bodies, and somehow managed to make it into the restroom. It looked to be empty, besides the one stall that sounded like someone was hacking up their lungs, and that someone sounded vaguely familiar…._Madison._ I would be lying if said that I didn't expect to her to be in the bathroom, because there are only a few places where she could have went; what I wasn't expecting was for her to be throwing up, which peaked my curiosity and made me a little worried.

She finally came out of the stall, after about five minutes or so. We stood there, just staring at each other, while I leaned against the sinks counter top. There seem to be several emotions playing across her face, but I guess her initial shock was the most obvious one. She tore her gaze from me , and walked towards the sink. She washed her hands and checked herself in the mirror, completely ignoring me as if I wasn't even standing right next to her. I had my gaze fixed on her every move, taking notice to any reactions. Her eyes stayed fixed on the mirror, but she started pursing her lips; she was getting annoyed.

"I would appreciate it if you would stop staring at me!" She practically growled in frustration, finally meeting my gaze. I didn't say anything; I just stood there and waited until she wanted to continue….and she did.

"Why are you even her?" She furrowed her brows and squinted her eyes angrily. "Are you stalking me now!"

Okay, so I wasn't technically "stalking her, I just so happened to have walked into the bathroom with her in it, but my initial reasoning for using the bathroom was to try to calm myself down…..sort of.

"I'm not 'stalking' you; I just wanted to use the bathroom…but I heard you in there…regurgitating? I don't know….are you okay?"

"I'm fine Carlin, I don't need your concern!"

"Didn't sound that way to me." I mumbled, giving her a intense wary look. "But if you wanna pretend like I didn't just hear you throwing up your lungs, then be my guest."

"Whatever Carlin, I don't have time for this, so if there's nothing else I can help you with, I'll just be on my way." She moved forward, attempting to grab for the door, but I took the imitative and blocked it.

"Actually, there IS something you can help me with." She gave me the biggest mean-mug id ever seen. "How bout you really tell me what that was all about?"

"I don't have to tell you shit! Its none of your business!" I should have known she would revert right back to her old bitchy self.

"God, Why do you have to be such a bitch?" " I'm just tryna help you!"

"I don't want, nor do I need your help Carlin…now move!"

I had finally managed to get her alone, and I wasn't gonna just let her leave like that!

"No, not until we properly settle this!" She looked a bit taken back by my statement, but that mean-mug returned full force.

"Settle what! There's nothing to settle; I ended whatever you THINK we need to settle two days ago, and right now, I'm ending this conversation!" She attempted to push me out of the way, but I wouldn't budge, so after a few more attempts she finally sighed and relaxed. She was so close to me that I could smell her shampoo; a mixture of summer rain and lavender.

"Why are you doing this to me?" She asked in a broken voice; it was almost a whisper, but I caught it.

"I not trying to do anything, I just...

Her head was slightly bowed, and the hair that was framing her face made it impossible for me to see her expression…not that I didn't already know what she was probably looking like, but I just needed to see her eyes. I reached forward, trying to move the hair out of her face, but she instantly recoiled.

"Don't!...why can't you just leave me alone?" She snapped her head upward, and met my gaze full force. "What do you want from me Spencer!"

She was right, what was I expecting from her? What was I truly seeking ? I have no clue…I just needed her in my life.

"I just want my friend back."

"Friend?" She chucked sadly, and I found myself slightly recoiling from how broken she sounded. "Friend…You know what, Spencer! It's not the fact that you broke my heart, because I somewhat already expected that..no, I think it's more of the fact that you have the audacity to keep breaking it even more." She closed her eyes briefly, giving me a frustrated sigh. " I'm tired Spencer, I'm sooo tired of all this shit." _Wow, wow, wow…I had the audacity... and SHES tired!_ I couldn't believe what she said, I mean yeah, I might have broken her heart now, but she broke mine a long time ago! Now she wants to keep going back in forth out of my life! Hell nah! I never asked for this shit, I was happy without her for two year; she's the one who started this fucking game and I'm not leaving until we finish it!

"You've got some fucking nerve, Madison!" "I never asked for you to come into My life, YET again and completely confuse the shit out of me! You've fucked my life, and the sad part about is that you have no idea just how much damaged you've caused!"

"Oh BULL-SHIT, Spencer! Don't try and act like I'm the only one who's at fault, cuz who came to me, huh? Who came to me at 1:00 am asking me to be THEIR Ashley!"

"FOR FUCKS SAKE! YOU ARE SO FUCKIN BLIND, SO FUCKIN OBLIVIOUS AND WRAPPED UP IN YOUR OWN FUCKIN EMOTIONS THAT CANT EVEN SEE THE BIG FUCKIN PICTURE!" I was totally heated now, I couldn't believe this bitch had the nerve! "ALL THIS SHIT,"…I motioned between the two of us." All THIS SHIT ORIGINATES FROM YOU, MADISON; YOU AND THAT TWISTED ASS MIND OF YOURS….NOW YOU WANT TO SIT UP HERE AND PRETEND….

"WOW REALLY…PRETEND? YOU CAN JUST STOP RIGHT THERE, CUZ IM NOT THE ONE WHO'S PRETENDING!" She was heaving, and I noticed her voice dropped lower. " I told you how I felt; I was done trying to pretend to be something that I wasn't, nor did I want to be." "What did you tell me that night Spencer? That you could never love me, that it was wrong and we we're hurting our friends! And now you want me to just put aside my feelings and 'pretend' like I don't love you, just so you can have your friend back! FUCK YOU!" "Why can't you just leave me be, and go be with Ashley; she's the one you love, right?" This shit was getting out of hand; I couldn't fathom why I was so hung up over her, but I was... I just…needed her and I didn't want things to be like this.

"I'm done Spencer; I don't want to see, hear, talk or be near you." She tried for the door once more, but I stopped her yet again.

"Please move, Spencer." There was no more anger laced with her words, and she looked a little paler, but I couldn't give in.

"No, you can't keep doing this! You can just walk out of my life, come back, and then walk right back out…I won't let you!" I grabbed a hold of her shoulder, gently shaking her, trying to show her what this was doing to me. She winced a bit and she seemed to be having a hard time focusing, so I stopped and then she…

"Oh god…I really need to…blahhhhhh!"

_Puked on me._

She ran over to the sink, throwing up non-stop, while I stood there looking like an idiot.

"Madison, are you okay?" It was a dumb question, I know, but it was all that came into my mind at the time.

"No, I'm not okay…..just please go get Ashley or something!"

I was so confused…. about everything that was happening, that I just stood there, wide eyed.

"Spencer!" She barked, bringing me out of my daze.

"Oh right..um, I'll be back..just hold on, okay?" I didn't wait for a reply; I just stumbled through the door and made my way through the crowd.

**Ashley Pov**

I'm currently lounging with Devon and the others; just talking and enjoying each company, but I noticed that Spencer and Madison were gone.

"Hey uh, where's Madison and Spencer?" I asked no one in particular, and received a few blank stares.

"Oh uh, I think Madison's still in the bathroom; she been in there for a while now that I think about it." Aiden said in a slightly worried like tone.

"And Spencer?" My answer was another few blank stares, well at least not from Carmen, she actually had this weird grin on her face.

"Oh, I believe she said she needed some air….or something." If it were possible, her grin seemed to get even wider. I wasn't too worried about Spencer, but Madison was pregnant and I felt like I needed to look out for her.

"Righhtttt…well, I'm gonna go check on Madison." I stood up, as they all gave me a nod of agreement, and then made my way towards the restroom. I was halfway there, when I bumped into…Spencer.

"Oh Ash, I was just looking for you, I need your help!"

"Wow, what wrong, and uh….what's that on your shirt?" I asked with much distaste; it didn't really smell, but it looked rather repulsive. She started waving her hands dismissively, as if telling me that it didn't matter.

"That why I need your help…..its Madison..she's throwing up everywhere!"

"Calm down, is she still in the bathroom?" She shook her head frantically in a 'yes' motion.

"Okay look, im gonna go help Madison, but I need you to go tell the others that we're ready to go, okay?"

"Yeah but, I told her I'd be back….I want to help her." She had this really weird, determined look on her face, and it kind of shocked me.

"And you are helping her….by doing what I just asked, okay?" She eyed me intently and suddenly she got this look on her face, like she had come to a realization or something.

"Something's happening, and you know about it... don't you?"

"Spencer, it's really not my place to say, now can you please go do what I asked?" She eyed me yet again, but did what I asked none the less.

When I into the bathroom, Madison was sitting on the floor hunched over.

"Madison sweetie, don't sit on the floor... here, let me help you." She stood up lazily, using my outstretched hand as leverage. I gently guided her towards the sink, and noticed the smeared make up on her face; she was crying.

"I'm okay, I just threw up...on Spencer and...in my hair." She gave a weak smile in the mirror and shook her head.

"Okay Madison, let's get you cleaned up and then we'll take you home, okay?" She furrowed her brows and then started shaking her head "no."

"No really, I'm fine...I don't want to go home yet."

"Madison," I started, with a very stern tone. "You're not well; you're throwing up everywhere and I really think you should take it easy."

"I'm fine Ash, I promise! I just need...some food in my stomach, that's all." She looked at me pleadingly, and against my better judgment, I caved in.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She nodded her head solemnly.

"Yeah, I'm sure...besides, I really don't feel like being alone right now, and...I definitely don't want to miss Devon's party!" I looked at her in pure disbelief, and then did the one thing I could do; I just laughed.

"You really are unbelievable, you know that right?" I took a brief moment to actually get a good look at her; she wasn't necessarily showing, but I knew she wouldn't be able to hide it forever.

"Madison, I really think it's time; you can't keep hiding this from Aiden."

"I know. We're supposed to be 'catching up' at Devon's, so I'll tell him then, I promise."

I gazed at the smeared image of Madison in the mirror, and I realized that I had never seen her look so sad, and so emotionally drained; I literally felt like my heart might break just from staring at her.

**A/N: Lol, you didn't really think I was just gonna let Madison out right tell her, did you? Shame on you! You guys know I like drama!**


	19. Shit Hits The Fan

**A/N: I decided to be nice and rewarded you guys with another chapter..enjoy! Read and review!**

**Shit Hits The Fan**

After one long limo ride, and several clothes changing stops later, we finally ended up at Devon's house. The house was rather big; almost like a small mansion, which made me wonder why the fuck she was going to King High! I mean, it's pretty obvious her parents make good money, and she could probably get into one of those expensive private schools, but...whatever.

I was currently sitting on one of the many couches that occupied the living room, chugging down my fourth or fifth beer, but who's really counting?

Aiden and Madison decided to go up stairs about ten minutes ago, and I could see Devon talking with Ashley, out of my peripherals. I had no clue where Clay and Chelsea were, but I assumed they were somewhere, doin their own thing. So that left me with Carmen, who was eye-balling the shit out of me.

"Dude, why the fuck are you sitting here, looking like someone just ran over your puppy?"

I shrugged, and heard Ashley laughing in the distance, so I let my eyes wonder towards that very person. I felt Carmen shift, and then heard an "ahh" as if she just realized something.

"So that's why your sittin here, lookin all moody?" I shrugged again; she wasn't too far off with her assumption, but Ashley wasn't the exact source of my wallowing.

"I thought you were cool with the whole "Devon" thing."

And I was, I mean Devon's nice, and she makes Ashley happy, so I should be happy...right?

"we are, I mean, I am cool with Devon."

"But?" But what? was there a but? I had no clue, so I just shrugged again.

Carmen sighed beside me, and I could feel the frustration radiating off of her.

"Man, you can't keep doing this, Spence." "There's plenty of other girls out there...in fact, there's a lot of attractive girls in here right now. You should go chat, mingle...get laid?" She smirked and nudged me in the side with her elbow.

"Yeah...maybe." She shook her head, but then she let out a weird noise; it sounded like a pant or a whine. She was looking off in the distance, so I followed her gaze and was met by a very horny looking Alicia; she had the biggest fuck me eyes I had ever seen.

I cleared my throat, getting Carmen's attention, and then raised my eyebrow questionably.

"how long has this been going on?" I asked amusedly, earning a sheepish grin from Carmen.

"I don't know, a month maybe?"

"I thought she was straight...AND dating one of the football players, what he's name again?"

"So did I, but obviously she's not, because my fingers have proven otherwise... several times, might I add." " And as for the guy? I don't know, and nor do I care. She's a closet freak and I like it like that...although, it does makes me wonder about the other cheer-bitches."

"Hello Spencer...Carmen." Alicia said, keeping her eyes fixated on Carmen, who had on the biggest perverted smile ever. I nodded my head in acknowledgment, when she finally met my gaze.

"I was thinking about taking a walk." She gave Carmen a very slow once over, licking her lips sensually as she did so. "You wanna join me?"

"Sure, it would be my pleasure." Carmen traced her fingers against the exposed skin, just under Alicia's skimpy skirt, emphasizing the word "pleasure." "Just give me a sec, and I'll meet you up stairs." I let out a snort, when Alicia retreated quite happily.

"I thought you were joining her for a walk?" I finally said, smirking at the sheepish look on her face.

"Yeah, a walk upstairs and into one of those bedrooms." She stood up abruptly, giving me a lopsided grin." I'm gonna get my finger wet, and I suggest you do the same."

"Righttt...well you do that... just don't get caught, cuz I'm not savin ya."

"Girl please! You don't have to worry about me, cuz I'm a fuckin shadow when comes to this shit!" She started smacking the air like she was smacking some ass." Just call me the Pussy ninja!" We looked at each other silently, but soon burst into fits of giggles.

"Seriously though, Spence. Don't sit here all night...go talk to somebody."

"Okay, whatever you say, pussy ninja."

After Carmen left, I decided to raid the refrigerator for beer. I was just about to open one when someone snatched it out my hand.

"Easy there Spence, how many of these have you had?" I watched as Ashley began gulping down MY beer.

I was up to my sixth or seventh, and I wasn't necessarily drunk, but I was bit buzzed.

"I don't know, three?" I lied, and I could tell by the look on her face that she also knew.

"Uh huh, whatever you say, Spencer." We stood there for a moment, and I shifted uncomfortably at the eerie silence.

"So uh, where's Devon?" It wasn't my intentions, but the question came out kind of bitterly, and I think she noticed.

"She had to take a phone call, I think it was her mom or something." She eyed me curiously, and then sighed, chugging some more of my beer.

"She asked me to be her girlfriend."

I chuckled weakly, gaining her attention . I'm not gonna say that I didn't see it coming, but it still kind of hurt.

"That's great, Ash...I'm happy for you." I finally managed to say, as we both started walking towards the patio.

"Are you,? Are you really happy for me, Spencer?" "Are you happy period?" She gently grasped my arm, as we stood in front of the pool; the light was reflecting off of the water, making odd sparkling shapes against her face.

I wasn't necessarily happy, but I think I was genuinely happy for her.

"Yes, I'm happy for you Ash. Devon makes you happy, and you deserve happiness, right?"

"Yes... I do, but what about you Spence? What's your happiness?"

What's my happiness? I had no happiness, nor did I deserve it.

"Family, friends, you...that's my happiness." It was a partial lie, but what else could I say?

She didn't say anything; she just stared at the water.

"I didn't give her a answer yet."

"And why is that?"

"Because...I'm still not sure about something." She mumbled, meeting my eyes again.

"What aren't you sure about?"

I watched her open and close her mouth, attempting to give an answer, but she was completely cut off by a loud voice coming from inside the house. We turned our heads in the same direction, noticing a small group of people forming in the den area. I heard a gruff voice say "where the fuck is she!" Followed by a soft pleading voice; it was a bit muffled, but it sounded like the person said "please don't do this!"

My first assumption was that Carmen had indeed got caught, so I panicked.

"Oh shit!"

I ran into the house as fast as I could, stumbling through the crowd, until found ...Aiden? His back was towards me, and he was slightly hunched over. It looked like he was trembling a bit, so I put my hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down.

"Aiden?" He tensed under my hand, and looked over his shoulders; his face was wet with tears.

I was about to ask him what was happening, but I was cut off by fierce punch to my ribs.

Now, Aiden has always been a pretty active guy; he's played basketball, football, soccer, wrestling, and he even took up karate and boxing. So when I felt that sharp pain in my side, I knew that he had either cracked or broke some of my ribs.

"What the...what the fuck was that for?" I wheezed out, collapsing under my own weight, and clutching at my side. My breaths started coming out as heavy pants, and everything just seemed...disoriented.

"I fuckin loved you! You were like my sister, like my family, and you do this shit!" I was bit out of it, but I saw him grab at Madison's upper arm; she looked very shaken. And then realization hit right in the head; he found out...about everything.

_Fuck!_

"we're done, Spencer...me and you are fuckin done!"

That's the last thing I remember hearing before I blacked out.

**The end!**


	20. Shit Hits The Fan Pt 2

**A/N: Might have noticed the name change...I think it fits me. Lol! Yeah, seems like a couple of weeks and I really Missed you guys! Lmao! Some of my readers suggested that i get a Beta...dont really know what that is or how that works, but if you're interested or if anyone can tell me what it is, just hit me up! Anywho, here it is. Read and Review! Oh, I just realized that i finally hit the 100 mark, thanks a lot you guys! I didnt get the full 100 bucks since i took too long, which is my fault for stalling , but i did get half .**

**Shit Hits The Fan PT 2**

I'm leaning against the wall, listening to Alicia go on and on about her boyfriend. But you really can't call it listening if you're just nodding your head and saying "uh huh" every now and then, right? So yeah, I was basically tuning her out, because let's face it, I have my own "boyfriend problems" to worry about.

I give a heavy sigh of frustration, because I'm fully aware of my Spencer's penetrating gaze; she's been eyeing me ever since we got here.

I let my eyes wonder towards Ashley, who is currently giving the cup in my hand an odd look; I role my eyes at her assumption, and mouth the word "water." She smiles sheepishly and then her eyes flicker towards Aiden; she gives me a pointed look so I nod.

"Hey babe," I say, lacing my finger through Aiden's," I was wondering if we could go somewhere with less noise?" He give me a perverted grin and I ignore that arrogant smile that he flashes towards his friends.

We start ascending the stairs and I honestly can't be more relieved, because I don't have to deal with that other problem that starts with an "S." But at the same time, I'm also scared shitless, because I have no idea how everything will end.

As soon as we came through the door, he pinned to the bed, and starts planting wet, sloppy, kisses on my neck. In the back of my mind, I know I should probably push him away so we can actually talk, but I know he's not gonna hear a word I'm saying, not when he's horney.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to get you up here and out of these clothes."

He doesn't have to remind me of his "eagerness" because I can feel it rubbing against my thigh.

He somehow manages to get my shirt unbuttoned, revealing a black lace bra, courtesy of Victoria Secrets annual sale, and I try not to wince as he plants kisses above the exposed skin of my breast; they've become so very tender.

I can tell that he's grateful for the front clasp of my bra, since he's always had trouble with those kind of things.

When he releases my breast from their confines, he eyes them intently for a moment, almost like he's analyzing them. I begin to feel a little uneasy as he continues to "over analyze" my chest, so I take things into my own hands and force my lips onto his. He seems a bit shocked at my own "eagerness," but he returns the kiss.

It starts out at a frantic pace; clothes practically being torn off, and wet kisses placed everywhere and anywhere. It was feeling a little "needy," like he needed reassurance, but then things slowed down and it was almost too slow to bare.

He continues to place tender, featherlike kisses all over my body, while his eyes stay locked onto mine. The way that he's staring at me reminds me of _her_, and that mask that was so securely put up, almost crumbles under his intense gaze.

I know that he wants to make love, but that's something I just can't bare with at the moment, so I flip him over on his back and take charge. I shift my body to allow him to enter me, and I wince at the slight pain I feel. Aiden wasn't as big as Spencer, but he was a little thicker, and the fact that my body has become increasingly tender over the past couple of days wasn't really helping.

He leans up to kiss, so I meet him halfway, and when his lips caress mine, I whimper. It's so soft, so loving and gentle that I can't hold back my sobs anymore.

"I missed you," he said, wiping away my tears. He didn't ask me why I was crying, he just continues to caress my hair, my cheeks and my neck, and I hate what I'm doing to him... what I HAD been doing to him. And when those three little words that I've grown to hate, "I love you," spills from his mouth, I just hate myself even more and I just want to die.

I don't hate him for saying it, I just hate what it means, and I so desperately want her to say them to me. I hate them because I can't say it back to him, and I hate it because he means it. So yes, I want to die; I want him to wrap his hands around my neck and just squeeze until my last breath.

But Aiden's not going to do that to me. He would never hurt me like I did him, nor would he take my life or the life of my baby, so I did the one thing I could do; I rode him. I pushed him away both physically and emotionally, and I rode him. I rode him with all my might, until I stopped seeing _her_ face instead of his, until I felt like I still loved him, until I could shed no more tears, and until I came, screaming his name and not _her._

I collapse beside him, putting a bit of distance between us and turn so that my back is towards him, and then I crumble into myself. I thought about not telling him, because it really scares me not knowing what to expect, but then he says something that catches me off guard; it's something that makes me go rigid with fear.

"Who's is it, Madison?" He whispers calmly, but I can feel the anger behind it; it was practically radiating off of his body.

My heart is pounding in my chest as I turn to face the executioner. His back is against the head board, and his eyes are cast directly in front of him staring at nothing.

I know it was probably stupid, especially since the whole point of me coming up stairs was so that I could talk to him, but I can't help the words that flew out of my mouth on instinct.

"Who's is what?" I said dumbly, and I was immediately greeted by a flash of anger from Aiden.

"Do you really think I'm stupid?" He stood from the bed and starts pacing the floor; something he often does when he's stressed.

"I know your body better than you do, Madison!" He talking more to himself than to me as he continues to pace. "I should've seen the fuckin signs! I mean, you hardly eat at lunch and when you do, you immediately go to the bathroom! You're a lot paler, your skin feels different, your tender, especially in the chest area and your areolas were never that big!" I'm shocked; no, I beyond shocked by what I'm hearing. Why didn't I ever notice him, noticing me? "We've always been somewhat distant, but recently you've been more distant than usually. Oh, and then there's that!" He points to the small round bump forming around my stomach area. "I can go on and on, Madison. So why don't you just cut the bullshit and just be honest for once?"

"Aiden, I'm sorr…He raises his hand, effectively cutting me off. " Don't…fuckin say you're sorry….just tell me whose it is." There's no more anger in his voice as he says this; only a sad, broken, whisper is left. "And don't say it's mine, because we both know that that's bullshit! We haven't had sex in like what? Three four months? And that bump is barely there, so you must be like two or two and a half months?" He moves towards my purse, and dumps its contents out on the bed. "Where's your pills, Madison, huh?"

I try to open my mouth to say something, to say anything, but I can't.

He stands at the foot of the bed, body hunched inwardly and head turned away as if it pains him to actually look at me, and it does. I don't need to look at his face, the way his eyes flutter close in an attempt to keep the tears away, or the way his chin quivers in hushed whimpers, to know that I hurt him, because it so apparently obvious.

"What was it Madison? What did I do to make you stray away from me, to make you do this to us?"

He finally turns and meets my gaze, and as I stare into oblivion, I realize that I completely, utterly, and unintentionally broke Aiden.

I can see the tears flowing down his face and I want to stop them, I want to reach out and hold him, so I did, or at least I try to anyway. I slid to the end of the bed on my knees and reach out for him, but he completely snaps; I saw that flash of anger again and I soon found myself up against the wall.

"Whose is it, Madison…who's fuckin baby is it?" He starts shaking me by the shoulder and I wince at the slight pressure I feel.

"It's Spencer's" I mumble quietly, almost too quietly for him to hear, but the look on his face tells me otherwise.

"Spencer? Spencer Paterson, that douche bag from the wrestling team! I'll kill em!"

Spencer Paterson is one of those cocky, arrogant, all-American guys. He's cute and believes that every girl wants him and that every guy wants to be him, he also considers himself to be a rival to Aiden. He strives to be the best at whatever he does or whatever Aiden does.

As much as I also despise Spencer Paterson, I really don't have it in me to let him take the fall. Not only that, but the thought of people assuming I let that ass-hole stick his disease ridden dick inside me is just absurd! I can't let that happen, so I stepped into the lion's den and clarified myself, despite the utter fear I can feel creeping into my lower stomach.

"No, not Spencer Paterson," I take a deep breath, hopefully not my last and reply, "Spencer Carlin."

He stands there with a blank face, eyes unblinking, and then burst into fits of laughter. I'm seriously beyond being scared; I'm terrified. I mean, I finally tell him who I'm actually referring to and he laughs? No I didn't just break Aiden, I ripped and shattered him beyond repair, leaving this…..this lunatic in its wake.  
"Are you fuckin kidding me? Spencer Carlin, as in Ashley's Spencer?" He laughs again as if the whole idea is just farfetched. "You're joking, right?" He finally manages to say through throaty laughs. I know he truly wants to believe that I'm lying, but when he looks at my face, he knows that I'm indeed telling the truth

And then the shit just hit the fan.

One minute I'm staring him in the face and within the next, he's halfway dressed and crashing through the door. I grab for my things and quickly follow suit, begging him not to do anything reckless. A crowd forms as he begins to yell for _her, _and I desperately try to calm him down but he wont listen to reason.

She must have heard all the commotion, regrettably, because she soon joins the mass of body's that are cheering and pumping Aiden up.

I watch in slow motion as Aiden turns towards the oblivious girl and flinch at the sickening "crack" that results after his fist connects with her rib cage. She curls into herself and crumbles to the ground asking "why?"

I didn't hear anything else after that, because I was too focused on Spencer's face. She was looking at me and I can tell that she knows that he knows.

Her eyes suddenly roll back into her head and I stand there, dumbstruck, as Ashley and Devon try picking her up. I look towards Ashley and she gives me this look; it's a look that tells that she knows and wants an explanation. I silently pray for the floor to just open up and swallow me whole.

"We need to get her to the hospital," was all Ashley said. I nod my head and peer around the room, making sure Aiden is gone; sure enough, he already fled the scene. We're almost half way through the door when Carmen's voice echoes through my ears.

"What the fucks goin on?" I turn my attention towards the stairs and immediately regret it; standing at the top of the stairs is Carmen, dressed only in a pair of bunny ears, with a vast amount of whipped cream covering her naughty bits.

It's like one of those "broken-record" moments; a moment where you just sit there and say "what the fuck?" Leave it to Carmen to just throw everything off.

Luckily, we chose to turn a blind eye towards her compromising appearance and just continued forward.

We finally arrive at the hospital after about thirty minutes and Spencer's moms on the clock, so we decide that its best to just tell her some bullshit lie about Spencer drinking too much and falling down the stairs. She gives all of us a disapproving look at the mention of alcohol and says something about having a chat with our parents. I don't really care, since that's the least of my problems at the moment.

It's been about an hour and they've just about finish patching Spencer up, and Devon's fast asleep , leaving Ashley and myself wide awake with unspoken tension. Mrs. Carlin gives us permission to see Spencer, even though she's still unconscious. I walk in and my eyes flicker towards Ashley, meeting her gaze, and I know there's no turning back now; I walked straight into the eye of the storm.

I sat in the chair beside Spencer's bed, while Ashley lay curled up in the bed right next to her. It's probably stupid and a bit immature, but I can't help but feel a little bit jealous.

"It's hers, isn't it?" She murmurs quietly, while running her fingers through Spencer's hair.

My blood runs cold as I gazed upon Ashley's face; there's nothing there. There no hate, no sadness, no emotion what so ever.

"Yes."

Her gaze flickers towards me and I watch as she closes her eyes and exhales tiredly.

"I should've known….I should have seen this coming." She mumbles to herself. She lets out a sad chuckle when she finally opens her eyes. "I mean, it was right there in my face the whole time, the looks and...and the subtle little touches... so fuckin obvious. I want to know what happened...I want to know everything.

She wants answers and the I at least owe her that much, right? I begin telling her what she wants to hear, starting from the beginning, way back to where it all began in 9th grade.

"You love her." She states, face unmoving and blank.

"I do."

"Then you need to fix this. Make it right and tell her about the baby, she deserves to know."

I'm stunned. Why wasn't she flipping out or shouting?

"Ashley, I don't think I...I stop mid-sentence when she give me a fierce glare.

"it wasn't a request, Madison. I'm telling you to fix this...both of you."


	21. Confessions of a Dirtydick

**A/N: I wrote this chapter a week ago, when I was going through something very fucked up. Its dedicated to my girl, who I was very, very upset with. And I don't regret writing it cause she deserved it. But I'm forgiving person, which will most likely be my downfall one day, but what can I say? I'm not gonna bore you with my shit so here you, read and review..or don't.**

**Oh I was in a bit of a hurry cause my computer was acting funny, so please do forgive any mistakes in grammar. And this chapter is a bit shorter than I wanted. I still tryna figure out where I'm gonna take it but Ima try to work on it some more.**

**I 'd really like to thank all of you guys for your support, I really needed it. It's nice to know that I have such loving and loyal readers who like to read my crap, thanks guys!:) **

**Chunkymonkey3: I've said this plenty of times but every time I read your review about how Spencer..relieves herself just makes me laugh. Lmao, I couldn't stop laughing. And it's a totally serious question to which I don't have the answer for but yeaaaa...still funny.**

**110101001: You're funny too. That dirty dick comment really set me into giggle fits. Thanks, I so needed that.**

**Confessions of a Dirty-Dick**

**Ashley's Pov**

I've been sitting in this room since 2:45am. It's about 11:30am now; Devon and Madison left around 8:30am and all I've been doing is dwelling on everything that Madison told me. I'll admit that I wasn't too shocked to find out that Spencer had been messing around with someone during our little 'parting' but what really shocked me was that it was with Madison. I mean, yeah, sure, I've always suspected that Madison still had feeling for Spencer, but I never would have thought she'd do something like this.

I shift uncomfortable against the window seal and chuckle lowly to myself. I feel my stomach twist in the agonizing way; I've been lying to myself the whole time. I've always suspected this; the looks, subtle touches they give each other when they thought no one was looking. It was all there in my face the whole time.

_"Why didn't I see it coming sooner? I should of..."_

"Ash?" I'm brought out of my thoughts by a raspy voice. I turn my head and I'm met with confused, tired eyes. I can feel something wet on my cheek and its then that I realize that I'm crying.

**Spencer Pov**

Voices and pain, that's all I hear and feel. The voices are familiar but I can't seem to place a face to them.

_"Where am I? What happened, and why is it so dark?" _ I'm so confused.

There's warmth beside me...a body. I feel heavy and disoriented. I feel like I'm being forced deeper into oblivion...this heavy darkness. I don't know if my eyes are open or closed; I just feel tired...sleepy.

"She deserves to know..." Is the last thing I hear before I succumb to the darkness.

**Hours later**

Its silent now. There are no more voices; jus silence...and darkness.

I lay there, completely consumed by pitch black when my mind subconsciously starts painting an image; figures start to fill the dark void. People I should recognize...but I don't. All their faces are etched out, as if someone completely erased their faces. I paint a little more and I slowly start recognizes some of them; there are two that immediately catch my eye. They both have somewhat of the same complexion; one is shorter than the other, but they both scream confidence. The tallest steps forward, almost as if she trying to reach for me. As she get closer more and more of her features become unmasked, until finally, the spitting image of Madison appears before me.

I focus on her lips; their moving but..nothings coming out. Her hand is still reaching for mine, so I press my hand forward but as I do so, I notice that everyone else slowly begins fading away. I look past Madison, only a few feet away and I'm greeted with the saddest brown eyes; its Ashley.

I recoil from Madison's reach and the result terrifies me. When I reach for Ashley , Madison starts fading more. So I reach for Madison and Ashley starts to evaporate, until I'm left with nothing but endless abyss once again.

_"Told you it would all come crashing down on you..."_ The voice that I recognize as my own echoes through the darkness_. "You should of just come clean when you had the chance. Now look what you have...absolutely nothing."_

It was right, but I don't wanna listen...I can't, so I just run. I don't know where I'm running; it all looks the same, but I can't stop.

_"Aren't you tired of always running?"_

_Shut up._

_"You can't run from me forever, Spencer."_

_I said shut up!_

_"It's time to face your problems."_

_Somebody wake me up. _"Wake me up!" I stagger; my legs are sluggish and my chest burns.

_"Face me , Spencer. Face her."_

_"Wake me up...somebody wake me up!" _Everything is just too much...so I collapse.

_"Stop running!"_

With one last breath, I scream at the top of my lungs."_Wake me up!" _My body jerks and I slowly find myself enveloped in white.

I take in my scenenary and my eyes focus on a figure; its Ashley's, sitting in the window seal.

"Ash?" She seems slightly startled and deep in thought.

I'm confused as we sit here just staring at one another, but its only when I notice the small wet streaks on her face that I find my voice.

"Ash, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" There's nothing but silence, so I try again.

"Ash, what's wrong?" I try to sit up but I'm immediately hit with a searing pain in my side; its then that I truly become aware of my surroundings.

"Wha..what's happening? Why am I in the hospital?" I'm panicking now; I try to sit up again and I'm not only hit with the pain but I'm suffering from dizzy spells.

"It's the meds. They've been pumping you with Morphine." Her voice slightly cracks which only confirms that she indeed has been crying.

"Please, I don't understand what's happening."

"Devon and Madison left a couple hours ago."

"What?" None of this is making since to me and its pissing me off.

"Ashley!" I'm losing my patience now. "What..why am I here?" Her eyes bore into mine; there's something there...something I've seen before..but what? For the first time ever, I find myself actually hating the way she's looking at me; so strong...piercing. She turns back to the window, just staring, leaving me to dwell on my unanswered questions.

"What do you remember from last night?" Her voice is low, almost a whisper and I find myself having to strain to hear it.

last night? What do I remember? "Um...I remember...talking with you.."

"Do you remember what we talked about?"

"We..were..talking about..Devon. And..and.." There's something else; something important but...I can't remember. I close my eyes for a moment in recollection of the events from last night, but everything just seems so..jumbled.

"I told you that Devon asked me to be her girlfriend..."

She did tell me that, and now I find myself aching in two places; my heart and my side.

"I ..I remember that. You said you weren't sure..so you didn't give her an answer. And then..."

"There was yelling, Spencer. It came from inside house...and then a fight." As she says this she turns so that she facing me and the look of just...nothingness, just makes my stomach churn. And with that dull ache brings unsavory images from last night; they just flood my mind. I remember everything and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"Ash, I..."

"-Don't, Spencer...just don't."

"Ashley, Please..."

"-Please what? Hmm?"

"Just let me..."

"-Let you what? Apologize? I don't want your fucking apology." Her face is void of any emotion what so ever. "But you know what you can do? You can tell me..everything. Tst, you might as well, right? I mean I've already heard Madison's side..so let's hear yours."

"Ash, please don't..."

"-Spencer!" She's reaching her limit, that much is clear from the look on her face. Her eyes are closed, brows furrowed and her nostrils are flaring. "I'm tired, Spencer. Just..please tell me." She finally manages as her face softens. And she is tired, so very, as am I , so I tell her..everything. From how Madison and I met, to the fall out, what really happened that day in the bathroom and so on.

We cry together, mine are tears of disgust, hers are tears of pain...anguish. Their silent tears, everything is silent and I want to know what she's thinking. But the fear...the fear of what's to come gets the better of me.

"Ash," I manage to say after what seemed like forever, "Please, just..say something?" Her eyes ,meet mine in a fierce gaze; that lump in my throat gets bigger as she eyes me with such scrutiny.

"What do you want me to say, Spencer? What do you want from me?"

"I..I don't know" What do I want from her..period? " I just, ugh! I don't know! Hit me! Scream at me...something!"

"Why, huh? Is that going to make you feel better?" Her voice is rising; clearly she's pissed off. "Make everything go away?" She standing now, slowly but surely making her way over towards me; she tenses at my side. "You want me to hit, Spencer? Hurt you like you're hurting me? Huh! Will that satisfy you?" She's shouting in my face now, and my only instinct is to flinch away..or runaway like I always do.

What do I say to this? Nothing, there's nothing I can say.

"I'm so tired, Spencer." She sighs, hand on her hips, eyes closed as she slowly runs her hands through her hair. "I'm tired in my heart. I'm tired in my mind. I'm just so tired." The fight in her is draining and the only thing left for her to do is...slump in a nearby chair. Silence sets in, and the pain in my side is nothing compared to the pain in my heart; I'm constantly breaking Ashley.

"Do you love me?" Was she out of mind? Do I love her? My head whips in her direction and I ready myself for my own little verbal lashing, but the genuine look of curiosity and sadness quells the outburst that is slowly making its way up my throat.

"Of course I love you, Ash! I never stopped...I jus.."  
"-Love her more?" Do I? Surely I care for Madison, more so than ill probably admit, but love?

"I..I don't know how or what to feel anymore."

"Well you better figure it out soon. For everybody sake, including the baby's."

"I know, Ash. Wait...what? Did I just hear correctly?" One minute she's looking at me with sad eyes and in the next she's looking like a deer caught in head-lights. "Cause I thought I just heard you say baby?" Is she tryna tell me she's pregnant? Where the fuck have I been! This must of just happened because looking at her now, she doesn't even have any form of a bump.

"So when were you gonna tell me?" I'm the last person who should be angry right now but I can't help it. I'm just..pissed!

"It's not my place to tell you. I didn't even mean to say _that" _It's not her place? What the fuck does that mean!

" What do you mean it's not _your_ place to me when_ you're_ pregnant!"I mean Jesus! Did you even tell Devon, cause clearly it aint hers!"

"Whoa, whoa, what? You think I'm pregnant?"

"Well who the hell else would we be talking about?"

"Oh my god! Are you serious! Are you that dense, Spencer?" Well obviously I am. The look on my face should be prove enough.

"I'm talking about Madison, jerk-off!"

"Ohhh" I let this information sink in for a moment. "What!"

"Yeah, she's pregnant...with your baby." I can't do anything but just stare at her with a blank face. And then well...I just completely lose it; I start laughing.

"You Can't be serious? Me?" I'm in hysterics now. "You're joking, right?" But the look on her face tells me otherwise. "Right, Ash?" I manage as I calm down, but there's something else rising within me when I see the 'dead serious' look on her face; its anxiety or better yet, I'm having a panic attack.

"What the fuck!" It's not..no! It..it can't be..right...RIGHT!" I'm so far gone off the charts that I don't even notice the faint beeping sound of my monitor, until my mom comes rushing through the door.

"Spencer1" She rushes towards me in a hip of worry. "Spencer, Sweetie. What's wrong?"

"Its...it's not..I..I don't...it can't be..right?" I'm tryna tell her but the words won't come out right.

"Spencer, calm down. I can't understand you. You need to relax...your blood pressure is going up. Jus breathe, okay?" Calm down? Blood pressure? Does she really think I give a shit about that right now!

"No, I can't. I gotta...I gotta go. I have to leave..." I'm sputtering on, whilst doing my best to ignore the throb in my side, and trying to detach any and every I.V or form of wiring.

"Spencer, if you don't calm down, then I'm gonna have to sedate you..."

"-Calm down? Calm down! She's preg..." I can't even get the sentence out before I start to slur. Forget having to sedate me, she did! Having to do and actually doing are two different things entirely.

I come to a couple hours later, but this time I'm fully aware of what happened. I search around the room and I'm greeted with three familiar faces. one being Ashley, who is knocked out in one of the chairs. The other two are an annoyed looking Chelsea and a very calm looking Carmen. The sight of Carmen already pisses me off, because calm and Carmen do not belong in the same sentence; I already know what's to come. I know she wont disappoint me.

"Morning sleepyhead." She greets in a sickeningly sweet voice that make me cringe. "How are you feeling? Are you hurt?" She asks as she maneuvers around my bed.

"No, uh..I'm good"

"You sure? You look a bit uncomfortable." She's at my side, the very painful side, and I eye her as her hands begin to fiddle with the bedding.

"Here, let me fluff your pillow..." She reached for it but I kindly and hastily interject. "No, really. I'm fine, Carmen."

"Are you positive? I really don't mind. Infact, I'd love to fluff it for you." She smiles sweetly while tilting her head to the side."Or beat you with it!" And that's exactly what she did.

"What the fuck, Spencer! Madison, Really?" With each word she hits me harder with the pillow.

"You are so fucked in the head, ya know that!'

"Ouch, ouch! Hey, cut it out!"

"-Carmen, calm down before you wake up Ashley!" Chelsea whisper yells.

"Yeah, what she said."

"Oh shut it, Carlin! You're lucky she's here." She settles back into her chair, right next to Chelsea, and for like the fifth time today, the room falls silent.

"Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Give me the details dirty-dick." And she sounds harsh, but her voice hold some amusement; glad someone is finding this funny.


	22. Make It Right

A/N: Yeah I know, long time blah, blah, blah. Just kind of lost interest in writing. That and Im just lazy as hell. I do apologize again if I offended anyone with the whole rape scene. This was my second story and I really wasn't planning on take it in that direction...just happened. I will update the profile summary for this story and put a better warning. I typed this on my phone since my my computer out, so do forgive any mistakes. Wont waste anymore of your time. Enjoy:)

**Make It Right**

And so for the second, but probably not the last time that day, i told my story. Beginning, middle and end; and of course, Carmen felt the need to comment on everything.

"You flippin raped her! Jesus, Spencer. What the hell were you thinking!"

"-Well obviously I wasn't thinking. And it wasn't intentional...it just..happened."

"Damn right you weren't! And i don't give a shit if it was intentional or not...its rape! I mean god! You're dirty, Spencer...beyond dirty really."

"-Okay, Carmen. I get it..."

"-Oh, i don't think you really do. Not only did you rape her but you continuously cheated on her. What the fucks up with that shit?"

"Okay, hold on now. Yeah, I did all those things, which im not proud of but don't you think you're being a little hypocritical? I mean, you're seeing Alicia, who has a boyfriend...so how is that different from me?"

"What's the difference? The difference is that I didn't freakin rape her, nor am i hurting anybody!"

"Not hurting anybody? Dude, what about her boyfriend! Doesnt he count?"

"Man whatever! You know what I mean...ill just say that im not hurting anyone in our close circle of friends. Besides, i don't care about that bitch...and this aint about me, Spencer."

As much as I hate to admit it, Carmen is absolutely right.

"So what are you gonna do about it, Spencer?"

"Pssh, what is she gonna do? Ill tell you what she's gonna do, Chels...tell that bitch to get a fucking abortion!"

I don't know what's scarier; the fact that she said it or the fact that its actually running through my mind right now.

"You cant be serious, Carmen? She cant just make a decision like that for her. Right, Spencer?"

And again for the second time today, I begin to feel trapped...nauseous even. What the hell do they want me to say?

"Im dead fuckin serious! She's not ready for a kid. I mean, look at her..."

"-And you think Madison is? I don't know what the hell their circumstances were, but its takes two to make a baby and clearly they didn't think about those consequences..."

"-All the more reason for that bitch to get an abor..."

"-You better not be considering what I think you're considering, Spencer."

Whoa, where the hell did Ashley come from?

"Ash, I thought you were sleep?" Really shouldn't be too surprised that she's awake, especially with all the noise Carmen's been making.

"yeah, well clearly you thought wrong. Now what's this im hearing about an abortion?"

"-Exactly what the fuck you heard!..."

"-Oh shut up, Carmen! Spencer, you're not actually considering it...are you?"

"Well, I mean...I don't know. Im not ready for this...I...I cant be a father, or mother...whatever the fuck this is!"

"I don't believe you, Spencer," she begins, shaking her head as she continues. "Its not always all about you..."

"-Ash, im..im scared. I don't know what to do..."

"-And she's not? You really think she's not freaking out right now. If you're scared, she's terrified."

"What do you want me to do, Ash?"

"Its not about what i want. Its about what you need to do; its about making it right. Stop running all the time and stop taking the easy way out."

Man, running must be the word of the day, cause im constantly hearing it.

"Well how am i supposed to make it right...where do i start?"

"Spencer, I think you and I both know the answer to that. I cant give you all the answers, figure it out yourself."

"ugh, well what if she hates me? What if she wont even listening...or talk to me for that matter?"

"Then make her listen. I've already spoken with her so im pretty sure i know where her heads at...its all on you now."

Well that's just great.

"Im tellin Ya man, Spence. You need to chalk that hoe..."

"shut up, Carmen!" Ash says, slapping her upside her head. " I've said all that i can, Spencer. I just hope you make the right decision..."

"The only right decision here, is to get an abortion."

"Okay, you know what? I think its time for us to be going. You need you're rest...plus you've got alot to think about." Chelsea begins shoving carmen out the door, with Ashley close behind.

"Ash, wait!" She stops and eyes me expectantly . " I..I am sorry about everything. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. And I know you're upset, but please believe me when I say that I do love you." She gives me this sad, almost pleading look before saying, " I know you're sorry...and maybe oneday, after all this is done and im willing to fully forgive you and forget...then maybe ill be able to really truly believe you. Ill see you later, Spencer."

And with that said, im left alone to deal with the problem at hand.

Several hours later

Its taking me about three hours to work up the courage to dial _that _number. So far, ice only been able to flex my fingers across the keys; im so very nervous. What the hell am I suppose to say to her...if she even listens, that is.

_Ring, ring ring..._

I immediately jump at the unexpected noise. I take a deep breath before answering.

"Hello?"

"Spencer..." I let out another breath, which almost comes out as if im actually getting the wind knocked out of me. And then I feel something that's almost unexpected as well; my stomach clenches in a familiar way, almost like I have butterflies and its almost similar to the feeling I get around Ashley...but not quite.

Madison...

"You...you called."

"You sound surprised. Should I not have?"

"Yeah. I mean no...I mean, I just thought you weren't..."

"Well, yeah. I kind of figured I had to. Since, ya know...I didnt really think you would."

It becomes deathly quiet after a while, so i decide to take the aniative.

"Is it true, madison? Is...is it mine?"

"Yes."

"But how? I mean, I wasn't aware that I could reproduce. Not only that but we always used a condom."

"Umm I don't know, Spencer. I font know how your body works but generally when a penis enters a vagina, there's still a chance that the female will get impregnated." She's being sarcastic now, which only serves to frustrate me more. "And obviously we didn't _always_ use a condom, cause if we did, i wouldn't be throwing up my life every twenty minutes..."

"-Oh come on, Madison! Cut the bullshit, you know exactly what I meant, dammit! Even if what you say is true, _you _told me you were on the pill. So what the fuck happened! Cause it sounds like entrapment to me...simple case of ' if i cant have you then no one else can.'"

"-Oh please! Don't flatter yourself, Spencer! Yeah, Im a bitch, but im that much of a bitch to try to trap you!" She scoffs, " What the fuck makes you think I wanted this? Im throwing up, my nipples hurt, I got heartburn out the ass, and by the end of the school year ima be a freakin planet. So you tell me, Spencer, why would I put myself through this?"

"I don't know. But since we're already headed in towards a taboo subject...have you thought about the big A?" I already know what reaction Im going to get, but we both have to consider all options.

"That's so fuckin typical of you. Just like a fuckin guy...take the easy way out, right? That's basically what this all boils down to, huh? And what makes it worse is that you don't even have the balls enough to say the whole word. The big A...?"

"-Madison..."

"-No, ya know what...I didn't think about the _big A_! Because unlike you, I don't believe in ending life. Ending something so pure, just for the sake of our mistakes! Is that what you want, Spencer? You want to kill our baby?"

"-Madison, fuck, wait! That's not what I meant...I jus...ugh! I don't know. i just think we need to consider every option."

"Killing is never an option for me." There's sniffling on the other end, which only makes me feel like more of a jackass.

Deep down, I know its truly not for me either. Im christian and its taboo, not only that but...I just don't see myself going through with it. i don't know, Maybe Im just too focused on the negative...and by negative I mean Carmen.

"Shit, Madison. You're right. Im sorry, okay? i just...I don't know for sure what I want or what's best anymore, but I don't want to kill our baby, okay."

"Then why would you say that to me? Did you even think about how it would effect me...do you even care?"

"Yes!I care about you. I care about you and about the baby...im just scared, alright. About my families reaction..your family...school.."

"-I know. Just...please don't say that to me again."

"Im sorry. (sigh) This isn't how I expected this whole conversation to go."

Its quiet again, not uncomfortably so, but...quiet.

"Can I ask you another question without you getting angry?" She sighs heavily; I assume she already has an idea about what im bout to ask.

"Yes, Spencer, I have thought about adoption. Ill consider that anyday before I even think about killing my baby. Im still debating it but as of right now...I want this baby, Spencer. I font know what that means for you. I would like for you to be in its life but I cant force you. Just know that Ill do it alone if I have to..."

"OKay, I understand. I don't know what all this means either, but I know you cant do this alone. Between school, worrying about a job, and our families...its just too much for one person." she hums in agreement. " I want to be in your life and ultimately, I want to be in the babies as well, because I do care about you alot..."

"Well that'd good to know.."

"-And I know you love me and im not sure if im ready to say it back and mean it, but I do have love for you.."

"-Jeeze, Spencer," she laughs lightly. "You sure do assume alot. What makes you think I love you..._anymore_?"

I cant help but blush; she's right. I am getting ahead of myself with assuming such ideas. She could hate me for all I know. But if that was the case, she probably wouldn't even bother with talking to me, right? The sound of laughter breaks me out of my thoughts.

"You're blushing, arent you?"

"No! I...I just..just..."

"And stuttering? That's cute," she giggles at this, making me blush even more. " Look, Spencer, " she begins, finally gaining some self-control. "You're right, I do love you...very much so. Despite everything that's happened, my love for you hasn't changed and probably never will. I wouldn't worry about it and I think we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves with that issue, mkay? Lets just worry about other issues, like explaining this to our folks, huh?"

"Yeah, sorry. You're totally right..."

"-And stop apologizing."

"Sor...nevermind."

This time it become awkwardly quiet.

"Soooo...does this mean you're fully on board for this? Because the last thing I need is for you to be back and forth. Just know that im forcing you...you can walk away from this, but if you do...I want you to stay away."

"Nah, I think Ill stick around...see where this takes us."

"Good," I can almost hear the smile that's more than likely plastered on her face. "Cause I don't think I could face everyone by myself...specially Aiden." And just like that, the smile is no doubt gone, which only makes me frown. "listen, Madison. Yeah, people are mad and are going to be mad for a long time. Its inevitable and they have every right to be mad, but eventually they'll get over it."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, I do." Or at least I hope so. "Listen, we've got plenty of time to worry about everybody else...I don't wanna talk about that right now. Right now, I think we should talk about how and when we're gonna tell our parents."

"I think we should tell your parents first; they seem...not necessarily accepting, buttt...understanding I guess? My mom is gonna freak...and I mean freak!"

"Really? What do you think she'll do?"

"Hmmm, worst case scenario...she'll probably call me a whore, and kick me out or try to send me to my grandmas. Both are pretty horrible if you ask me..."

"Wow. Yeah, I think we're just gonna go ahead with my parents first. They'll be disappointed but they'd never kick me out."

"Okay. Its settled then. Carlins it is."


	23. Moving Out is Hard to Do

_A/N: Yeah, yeah, long time and blah, blah, blah. You guys begged me last time and I only got about three review, so ask, where's the love man? I cried myself to sleep that night btw, lol not really but still...im gonna need for ya'll to review big pimpin:D _

_Oh, and the stuff in italic are flashbacks._

_ Moving Out Is Hard To Do_

_Ummm yea. So...we asked you here because theres something important we wanna tell you guys." _

_We were sitting in the living room; Madison and myself was awkwardly sitting across from my parents as they eyed us expectantly. I fiddled with our hands which were intertwined and a little sweaty on account of the fact that I was extremely nervous._

_"Well, what is it, honey? You know you can tell us anything..."_

_"Well," I began in response to my mothers question. "Madison and I...we're uh...we kinda had sex.." I chanced a glance at my parents and noticed the uncomfortable look on their faces, which in turn, made me uncomfortable._

_My dad let out a forced cough to clear the awkward tension before responding. "Right. Well its to be expected among you young adults to umm...want to do THAT...before marriage. Its natural," he said before getting a pointed look from my mom, "and I dont particularly condon it, but I know its ridiculous to try to pretend like it doesnt happen..."_

_"Exactly, and as long as you guys know the risk and are taking precautions...you guys are being safe, right?" I couldnt help but swallow that lump in my throat. If only she knew._

_"Well, see the thing is," my eyes flickered towards Madison who gave me a gentle reassuring smile and squeezed my hand a bit more. "She's a...well we're pregnant..."_

_I watched as the water that had previously been in my moms mouth, came sputtering out across the table; her and my dads mouth were hanging agape._

_"WHAT!"_

That was about three months ago and things went...as expected. We had a long talk with my parents, me telling them how and when it happened. I said that we used condoms but rarely because neither of us was aware that that would be the out come. My mom was of course skeptical about if the baby was indeed mine, and Madison seemed quite upset about her assumption but agreed to do a paternity test; not too surprised that it is mine. The talk mostly consisted of them yelling at us, especially after we said we wanted to keep the baby.

_"Do you even understand how hard it is to raise a baby at your age, Madison? I mean, you guys dont have jobs, your still in school and..."_

_"-Mom, I get it, okay? Yes we might not have thought this all the way through but...we'll figure...we care about each other and we wanna try to make this work..."_

_"Spencer I understand that you guys care for each other, but lets be realistic...all the love and care in the world is not gonna be enough to raise a baby alone. You have to think about what's good for and baby in the long run..."_

_"With all due respect Mrs. Carlin, what do you think we're tryna do now? Cause we are thinking about what's right for our baby, and what we think it that it deserves a chance at life..."_

_"By all means, It does. Thats not what we're saying...we would never even think of suggesting that. _

_"Then what are you suggesting, mom? Cause your confusing me. One minute it sounds like you're proposing an abortion and then next your insinuating something else.."_

_"God no, Spencer! I just said I would never suggest anything of the sort. What I am suggesting is that you think about adoption. Because really, parenting isn't a joke...if you're gonna be in this then you're gonna have to be willing to make sacrifices..and you're in it for the long run..."_

_"Mom, I already told you we're in it for the long run. And as far as adoption goes? Yeah we've thought about it but, but I dont know. Right now, we just...already have our minds made up..."_

_"Well if your minds our already made up then theres not much else I can say. If this is what you want then all we can do is try to support you in any way we can..."_

_"Seriously, Mrs. Carlin? Thats it... I mean you're not gonna like kick her out something?" I looked towards Madison who seemed genuinely surprised by this; she wasn't the only. I mean, I knew they would never kick me out but I kind of figured they'd be a bit more brutal._

_"Of course not. Shes our daughter, and yes she makes mistakes but I would never punish her for them...at least not so severely anyway."_

_"You seem a bit surprised by this," my dad cuts in," are you parents not so lenient?"_

_"I wish. Its just...me and my mom now. I rarely see my dad...he's never really home anymore. And since im all shes has left...she tends to be a bit radical about these types of situation..."_

_"Has this happened before?"_

_"-No. Shes just very overbearing when it comes to me and boys period. So shes not gonna accept this...me and Spencer. She wont...especially now that she knows her secret. _

_Its was quiet, and I could slowly feel the tension clouding the air again._

_"I never got the chance to say this before...but im sorry for the way I acted back then. And I know you guys probably dont trust me when I say this..."_

_"-Madison, you dont have to.."_

_"-No, Spencer. I do...this needs to be said. Im sorry Mr. and Mrs. Carlin for putting you and Spencer through that. I love your daughter very much and I wish I hadn't been so ignorant and stupid about that whole situation..."_

_"-Madison, honey. We appreciate that, and we do forgive you...but just know that actions speak louder than words. Show us that you're sorry rather than tell us.."_

_"I understand Mrs. Carlin...and I will..."_

_My parents leaned back against the couch. My dad ran his fingers through his hair and signed; they were both wearing a look of exhaustion and something else..._

_"You're disappointed in me, arent you?" _

_"Yes, we are disappointed, not entirely with you, but more of in ourselves. We prided ourselves in being good parents. Talking with you guys and trying to give you support. And yet, we're not even aware of what's really happening around us.."_

_"Mom, dad...none of this is your fault. You've been great parents...more than great. You've loved me unconditionally...even with all my faults...I couldnt ask for better parents. Its just...sometimes life is unexpected, and you of all people should know that. But that doesnt mean you're bad parents. _

_We embraced one another in an endearing hug before Glenn decided to waltz in on our family moment._

_"Eww. Did I just walk in on a after school special? And what's she doing here?" He nodded his head towards Madison, who rolled her eyes._

_"Well, we might as well tell em now. Gonna find out eventually..."_

_"Find out what eventually?"_

_I looked towards Madison and raise an eyebrow, silently asking for her permission; she nodded her head hesitantly before sighing._

_"I got Madison pregnant..." He laughed as if I was actually joking, which wasn't too surprising on his part._

_"Yeah right," he chuckled again. "you...getting Madison pregnant? Yeah, that'll be the day." He was so convinced that I was indeed lying about it, until he actually saw the serious looks on our faces. "SHUT THE FUCK...I mean shut the front door..no lie!" He asked with an unusual grin._

_"Yeah, its true, tampon. Now do you mind? We're trying to discuss the situation here..."_

_"Pssh, hells yes I mind! This is freakin classic...I didnt even know you had it in you, Maxi-pad..."_

_"Glenn, if you're gonna be here, then im asking both of you to be mature for once._

_"Okay, okay. But come on...none of you see the irony in all this? I mean, seriously. This chick spends half of her high school career making it her duty to turn Spencers life into living hell. THEN...then she turns around and gets preggos by her? If thats not irony then I dont know what is." He broke into another fit of giggles and I couldnt do anything but sigh in frustration; it was times like those that I just wanted to ring his neck."_

_"Glenn, if you're not gonna behave then im gonna need for you to step out..."_

_"Alright, im done, dad..seriously. Im just teasing em, besides...they better get used to it cause they'll be hearing alot more at school..and alot worse."_

He had no idea how right he was at that moment, because people at school were nasty and just flat out unrelenting about the whole situation. More so towards Madison because...well..she was pretty much a major bitch to half the damn school. I didnt care too much because frankly, its none of their damn business _and_ most of the idiots who said anything had their own fucked up issues to worry about. Madison, of course, didnt settle for any of the shit thrown her way. Whether it from some random jock, or one of her so-called friends, she set em straight just with one look. Thats crazy right? Not even having to open your mouth to get respect. But thats Madison for you; people always flock to her in the end because she fierce, beautifully intimidating, and will always just be popular no matter what she does. The only people who didnt buy into her facade was me and the others, including Aiden, who still hasn't acknowledged either of us, but I'll get to that later.

Deep down, I knew what everyone else said and thought mattered and hurt her, even if she was too stubborn to realize it herself. We are only human.

_"He's right, Spence. People arent going to be so forgiving about this...you sure you two are ready for this?"_

_"Like you've told me so many times before, dad. Lifes not meant to be easy or forgiving, thats why its called life. It'll be hard but... Im gonna do what I need to do and live it the best way I can._

_"Im proud of you, Sweetie. Wiser words have never left your mouth."_

_"Okay, first off. Can we please stop with the whole 'tender, heartfelt moment.' Im starting to feel like im in a episode of the Facts of Life. Secondly...Really? I mean seriously, she knocks up a chick and pretty much gets a pat on the back? What the H-man! If that was me or clay, we'd be getting the third degree..."_

_"Alright, Glenn. Thats enough..."_

_"Tch, whatever...im just sayin, its bull-crap." He folded his hands across his chest and offered me a glare. " So what exactly is gonna happen...what are they doing about the situation?"_

_"WE'RE gonna deal with the situation as a family."_

_"Meaning...?"_

_"Meaning, as of right now. They're keeping the baby and we're gonna help support them in any way possible."_

_"Man, what! This is bull-lore! I didnt knock her up, she did! So now I gotta be responsible too?"_

_"You know what," I began, annoyance clearly evident in my voice. "I get that we made a mistake, but im not gonna sit here and let you talk down to me or the mother of my child, assface! Im not asking anyone to do anything, and im not expecting you too either. Would it be nice to have a support system? Yes, it would be but what you choose to do for us and what not to do for us is on you. I can care less, Glenn." And then, well, I dont know...something in me just snapped and thought to myself, "who the fuck is he to judge me?"_

_"Nah, you know what? Excuse my language mom and dad..but fuck you, Glenn! Who the hell are you to judge me? Did I do that shit to you when you broke your leg and got strung out on painkillers? No, I didnt! I supported you with no questions asked...so fuck you!"_

_"Okay, you know what...Madison take Spencer outside for some air. And you, Glenn...just go to your room."_

_"But dad, she started it..."_

_"-Now, Glenn!"_

_We both went our separate ways; he stomped his way towards his room and I went outside like I was told. _

_"You okay, Spence?" Madison asked, stepping in between my open legs; I was leaning against the porch railing, with her standing right in front of me._

_"Im fine...its just..I dont know. I mean thats my brother in there, and he basically just spat in my face...so imagine what other people are gonna be like."_

_"Do you really care about what other people will think?"_

_"Yes and no, I suppose. I...I mean at first I didnt but now...I guess I care about what certain people will think.." A look of understanding crossed her features, followed by sympathy._

_"Im sorry I ruined your life..." She hugged me, something she rarely did so it meant alot to me, and I found myself hugging back._

_"You didnt ruin my life Madison. Complicated it? Yes, but you didnt ruin it. We both made choices, whether they were good or bad, and now I think its about time we deal with the cards we were handed, eh? We're in this together..."_

_"Wow. You guys uh...wanna minute alone...feels like im ruining a moment..." We jumped apart suddenly from Clays intrusive voice._

_"You guys seem to be...close. Am I missing something?"_

_"I'll tell you all about it later...if Glenn doesnt get to you first." He eyed me weirdly before shrugging his shoulders. "Right. Sounds like a plan...I'll just uh...let you get back to cuddling or whatever." And just like that, he walked past us and straight into the house. _

_"Well, I must say...this afternoon has been qute interesting to say the least. _

_"Tell me about it. Thats one family out the way...one left to go..."_

_"Yeah, and im so not looking forward to telling my mom. This was a walk in the park compared to what im gonna get..._

_"You guys okay out here?"_

_"Yeah, were fine, dad. Just thinking about the inevitable._

_"Ahh. Having cold feet about the whole telling your mom fiasco, Madison?"_

_"Pssh. More like freezing. Shes not gonna take it so well...that much is true..."_

_"Well, you never know. I mean look at us. Im pretty sure Spencer thought the same about us, so you never know...she just might surprise you.."_

_"If by 'surprise' you mean disown me...then yeah. Shes really gonna surprise me."_

_"Madison, we dont have to tell her right away...we can wait a few days if you want? But we will have to tell her eventually..."_

_"No, no more waiting. I might as well get it out the way now, while im still feeling somewhat reassured."_

_"Well, listen. Worse comes to worse then you're more than welcome to stay with us for awhile.."_

_"S..seriously, Mr. Carlin? You'd do that for me?"_

_"Of course. You're family now, right Spence?" I just knew my cheeks were on fire as he basically put me on the spot; I was never the type to need that sort of attention on me._

_"Um, yeah...family...right."_

_"And we take care of our family.."_

_"Sooo what about Glenn?" I said eagerly, trying my best to change subjects._

_"Well, you know, Glenn. He can be stubborn sometimes but he'll come around._

_"Right...I wont hold my breath on that one."_

_"Ya know, you might not believe it but he is sorry.."_

_"Oh? Did he tell you that? You speaking on his behalf now?" I said sarcastically, folding my arms across my chest as I did so._

_"No, im not speaking on anybody's behalf. I know he's sorry because I know my son, just like I know my daughter." He smiled tenderly and there was no way I could be mad. They were being so supportive, so understanding and here I was, acting like kid._

_"Sorry, dad. He just...gets to me sometimes."_

_"I know. But you guys have to understand that its just you guys. Your mother and I arent going to be here forever, so this is all you have. Try to remember that..."_

But like I said before, that was over three months ago, and things went exactly as Madison expected.

I _stood in the middle of the threshold, watching words being spat back and forth between Madison and her mother; words I did not understand since they felt the need to speak in spanish._

_Her mother began screaming animatedly, waving her hands about and occasionally pointing an excused finger at me. All the while, Madison began gathering her things, sobbing and screaming as she did so._

_I felt bad, watching her family crumble right beneath her, and the only thing I could think to do was hug her. I stepped in, ignoring her mothers shouts and shoves, more than likely telling me to leave, and embraced Madison; she was stuck for a moment, shocked from the situation and from me, so she didnt react. She just sobbed into my shoulder, muttering incoherent words._

_"Come on, lets go get the rest of your stuff..." I whispered into her ear and felt her nod, so I tugged her towards the stairs in an attempt to climb them._

_"Where do you think you're going? Salir de mi casa se corrompe Diablo!" The only word I could make out was leave; I turned towards her mother with angry eyes, and pulled Madison behind me._

_"Oh, we'll leave. Right after we gather her things, and when she leaves...its for good. She's gonna live me now...the one that cares about her; She'll get her love from me, cause obviously she's not getting it from you..." There was a noise from behind me, something like a sob or whimper, before we climbed the stairs leaving her stunned mother standing there speechless._

_We did what we came there to do; told her mother about the situation which consequently led to Madison getting kicked out. So we gathered her things and as we sat in the car, my hands turning the keys making the engine sound, Madison broke down._

_"She hates me...she'll never forgive me for this. None of my family will...they'll all hate me for abandoning her." I was taken aback from her statement. Madison abandoned her?_

_I leaned back against the seat, took her hand in mine and stared at her for a moment. Her eyes were puffy, rimming with tears, face flushed red, and her hair was sticking up in certain places; in all honesty, she had never been more beautiful than at that moment. I dont know what it was, the break down or just the whole situation, but it was like I was seeing her for the first time._

_"Madison, you dont need that...people telling you your wrong for wanting that," I pointed to the pump on her belly before I leaned over and rubbed it gently."For wanting our baby. For wanting our happiness." She asked as she wiped at her eyes with her sleeve._

_"Do you...do you mean that...that this is happiness to you?" She eyed me curiously, sniffling and eyes still rimming with tears as I stared at her_

_"Yes," I said without another thought; I honestly didnt really need to think about, because I already knew the answer, and I think Id always known. Id always cared for her, even when she hated me and I her. I just always knew something was there, what it was back then, i had no clue, but now im sure. Im sure this is it...what I want. "Yes, Madison. I mean it, this is happiness for me," I took her hand and gathered them towards mt lips." Yeah, I was scared before, and I still am...but I know what I want. I know who I am and I know who I want to be for you and our baby. Im gonna make this work." I kissed them gently and offered her a loving smile. "Tell me...what else could you possibly need?"_

_"I...I just wanted you. I want you...and I want happiness. I just wish...she wouldn't shut me out..."_

_"Madison, dont worry about her. She'll come around...just give her time. And if not, its her lose. My family is plenty hugs and has infinite love to go around. You're safe with me, so no worries m'kay?" She stared at me for a moment, lips quivering and body lightly shaking before she actually broke down again and through herself at me._

_"I...I dont deserve you, Spencer." She buried her head in-between my neck and held on to me as if her life depended on it._

_"I know," I said to her, slightly pulling back and flashed her the most cheesiest smile. "But you're stuck with me for a longggg time. So you better deal with it, sweetcheeks. And ya know...I get that Im like awesomely sexy, butttt theres no need to cry over it, jeeze." She stared at me dumbfounded for a minute, but when my words actually registered she smacked her lips and shoved me against the car door._

_"Eww, shut up," she laughed. "You are so wack that its not even funny." _

_"Righttt. Keep telling yourself that." I smirked at how predictable she was being; she rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. _

_"I really hate you right now."_

_"Really dont, but okay." I laughed and settled my hands on the steering wheel. "No need to be coy about it. I do tend to have that effect ya know..."_

_"Ugh, okay just shut your face and drive..."_

_"Whatever you want baby mama.."_

_"_Spencerrrr...helloooo? Are you in there?" I shake those memories from my head as I feel Madison begin to shake me; we're in the basement, our temporary living space until we're able to get on our feet.

"Where'd you go just now?" I look up at her from my current position; we're snuggled into bed with my head safely nestled near her protruding stomach. She about five and a half month now, her second trimester.

"Nowhere, just...thinking." She runs her hands through my hair, messaging my scalp as I gently rub her tummy.

"About? Cause you were cheesing pretty hard just now..." she laughs, putting down her book and mimics my hands actions on her stomach; the book is a collection of unique baby names and a few directions on what to expect when your expecting. I really dont even understand why she insists on reading such rubbish. Its not rocket science, and plenty of people before us have gotten by without it, so what's the point?

"Oh nothing really," I turn my head upward, and notice the pointed look she given me; her left eyebrow is raised questionably. "Just about how awesome I am." I offer her a the biggest and brightest smile as she huffs in annoyance but still offers me her own smile.

"No wonder you probably didnt hear a word I said. Your heads to big for your ears, jerkface."

"-Yup and my other head is big too. Wanna seeee?" I open my mouth to laugh, but the only thing that came out is an "ouch".

"Stop pervin for a second, and listen, kay?" I give my on little huff, playfully mind you, and nod my head."Kay, what sounds better, Yadira, Camille, or Cameron?"

"Madison, sweetheart. We havent even figured out what it is first, so how are we gonna just come up with names? Girl names at that. Who says its gonna be a girl, huh?"

"Me, thats who!" She declares, poking me in my head.

"Oh wow, cause you say so huh? Thats a reasonable response." I sit up so that im leaning all my weight on my left side, and use my left hand as a pillow so I can just stare at her in amusement. "So whatcha gonna do if its a boy then? Hmm?"

"Nothing, cause its not gonna be a boy, so neh!" I shake my head and chuckle at her childish display.

"Righhhttt," I retort sarcastically. "If you say so, oh mighty one..."

"Yeah, I know Im right!" She firmly plants her hand into my face, forcing me back against my now king size bed; I had to make alot of renovations in the past three months.

"Now who's being a bigheaded meanie, hmm?" I sniffle, acting as if im actually hurt which earns me a roll of the eyes.

"Aww, im sorry, babe, did I hurt you?" She asks in mock concern.

"Yessum you did. So you should kiss it.." I decide to pout for extra effect, and it must be working because she giggles and leans in towards my forehead.

"There, bighead. Is that better?"

"Mmm, yeah but...it hurts here too." I point to my lips, and do my best not to laugh; from the looks it, seems like she having that same problem. She shakes her head but leans in nonetheless. She grabs my face and gently brushes her lips against mine, its tender and heartfelt at first, but then turns to something else.

Being careful of her bump, I slowly but surely make my way on top of her, licking and sucking her lips all the while; she complies at first, humming and running her fingers through my hair, but as she feels something rub against her bare thigh, she pulls back.

"Wait, wait, wait...slow down," she mumbles against my lips, pushing against me but also pulling me closer. My hips are wedged between hers and as she constantly shifts, I begin to rub against her more; she doesnt bother with underwear at night, since it constricts her and makes her uncomfortable. So the only thing between her and I is my pair of Hanes briefs, which isnt really much.

"O..Okay, we gotta...we gotta stop." She says this but continues to wrap her leg around my waists. My hips jerk forward with purpose, earning me a strangled moan and I hiss at the feeling of her nails digging into my skin.

Its wrong, her and I both know it, but...it just feels way too good to let go.

"I really dont want to. You feel so good... so soft," Her head lulls to the side, giving me access to her neck. "You dont want to either..." Im painfully hard against her skin and all i can think about is taking off these briefs and taking that last step, but I wont, not unless she says its okay.

She sets the pace in our relationship if thats what you want to call it, since I really have no clue what to call us. We agreed to a fresh start, a strictly platonic relationship where we get to know each other again and MAYBE continue from there.

We have been getting to know each other, talking, and pretty much constantly hanging out, but it just doesnt seem like the whole platonic thing is working out to well; our body language screams anything but platonic. We're always cuddling, or holding hands, not to mention the many pet names we have for each other.

"Do you really want me to? I'll stop if thats," I breathe hotly against her ear. "If thats what you want..." I stop my ministrations momentarily to give us both time to think straight; She takes a few deep breaths before staring me in eye. "I dont...want to, but...I think its best that we do," her hands wrap around my face as she continues. "I really want to make this work...and sex will just...complicates things right now. Lets take it slow, m'kay?" I lean down as she her hands glide behind my neck, and settle back into the crook of her neck. I breathe her in a couple times, humming at her scent; a mixture of lavender and cucumbers, her two favorite of the Dove body wash.

"I really killing me right now, Madison..."

"-I know and Im sorry. Its just temporary okay? Good things come to those who wait..."

"M'kay. But we can still cuddle...and kiss maybe?" I carefully put my weight on top of her, but shift down so that im no longer poking her, but poking the bed. "Im not hurting you am I?"

"No, your fine. And I suppose its okay to cuddle and occasionally kiss...as long as we draw a line." Her hair tickles the side of my face as she shakes her head. "There goes the whole 'platonic' thing we had going on..."

"Babe, I really dont think this was platonic to begin with. It was only a matter of time..."

"Yeah, I guess. But...what does this make us then?"

"Im not sure. Whatever you want to be...we could be best friends?"

I shift on to my right hand so that I can peer down at her, and I eye her questionably when she begins to giggle. "What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she says in between fits of giggles. "Its just...what just happened was wayyy past best friend status."

"Yeahhh, I suppose your right. But there are plenty of people who want to fuck their besties." She pushes me back playfully so that im pretty much sitting on my leg. "Im just sayin. Okay welllll what about best friends turned lovers?"

"How bout we just forget about labels for now, and just..cuddle and..."

"-Kiss?" She smiles at my eagerness and I cant help but mirror her actions. I lean forward in order to initiate a kiss, but im denied; her hands flex against the fabric of my beater, and I start to wonder how good they would feel if they were under it.

"What's wrong? Does my breath stink or something?" I do a quick breath test just to check, which makes her laugh, but all I smell is minty freshness.

"Its not your breath, Spencer...its that..." Her eyes zone in on my pelvic area, which is currently mimicking that of a tent.

"Its gonna be pretty hard to cuddle with you constantly poking me. No point intended..."

"Hmm, I guess Ima have to get rid of that. Just...give me a sec, kay?"

"Wow, a second...really? Thought you'd have more stamina than that. Guess I was wrong..."

"Aha ha, thats funny. But no. Now if you dont mind, I've got a date with my hands."

I make my way towards the bathroom with purpose in each of my steps.

"Somebody's eager. Dont forget to wash your hands!" She calls from the bed, but I choose to ignore it since there are more pressing matters to deal with.

"Okay," I say, closing the door behind me and staring down at myself."How we gonna do this Spencer?" I pull my briefs down slightly, shuddering as the fabric brushes against my tip, and grasp myself.

Its been awhile since I actually had to do this, and i have a feeling theres more where this came from; Im not at all some type of sex crazed teenager, but going from sex being a constant to no sex at all is a real bitch.

I take a tentative stroke, starting at the base and almost collapse at the feeling; it feels incredible, not as good as the real thing but pretty damn close.

After the first stroke I just went at it. I took a firm grip, and started stroking with vigor, occasionally opting between slight twist as I glide across the tip.

I let my mind wonder towards Madison, naked, sweaty and moaning my name in my ear as she rides the fuck out of me. Her breath is hot on my skin, and the only thing I can think about is how warm and good It would feel to be in her mouth.

My hands slow, just as her body slows on top of mine in an attempt to savor the moment; I need to to last as long as possible but the tightening in my stomach is telling me otherwise.

"Im so close, Spencer...please dont stop." Her nails ghost across my back as she moans this into my ear.

"Oh god, Im trying...but I cant," my hips jerks frantically from the many images playing in my head right now; im on sensory overload."Im bout to..."

"-Cum in mouth." The image of her naked, on her knees with her mouth open and warm around me, floods my mind and I just let go.

"Oh fuck, Madison.." I cant even get the rest out before I feel something warm against the palm of my hand; I do my best to try to keep it in my hand only but im not really sure if that worked out too well.

My body lay limp against the toilet seat. I focus on catching my breath before attempting to clean up my mess.

The liquid feels warm in my hand, sticky and thick; I watch as it, and a big glob of soap goes down the drain, but im done yet. I take my rag from my previous shower, wet it and lather up some soap and begin to clean myself thoroughly.

I place my towel over my waist and calmly step out of the room.

"Hmm, five minutes huh? Thought you were better than that, minute man..." She giggles and eyes me with amusement.

"Oh, you and I both know what the deal is, sweetcheeks. So dont even fake the funk." I drop my towel and watch her eye me appreciatively before rummaging through my underwear drawer.( think thats how you spell it, idk)

"Happy now?"

"Oh yeahhhh; you know it babe!" I exclaim, putting on a pair of boxers.

"Must of been real good, If it had you moaning so loudly..."

"You heard that?" I dont know why, but Im starting to feel a little embarrassed at the knowledge of her actually hearing me touch myself.

"Oh yeah. You were a bit loud." She scoots over to the right of the bed, so that I can climb in comfortably. "So what'd you think about ? Must of been m-..."

"-Kirstie Alley..." I cant help but laugh at the confused look on her face.

"Umm what?"

"Kirstie Alley, thats who I thought about. Ya know how I love me some nice, big-boned women..."

"Yeah right. Seriously..."

"Im serious. Thought about her chins, and the way her arm fat just flapped as she rode on my..."

"-OKAYYYY. I definitely dont wanna hear about that..ugh, your making my stomach hurt."

"Well you asked." I chuckle into my pillow and watch her turn so that her back is facing me; she leans forward, switches off the light and settles into bed.

"You're seriously jealous?"

"Im not jealous! I dont get jealous...im.."

"Madison fuckin Duarte? Yeah, I know...and you're still jealous..." She huffs and scoots a bit more farther away from me, meanwhile im doing my best not to burst out laughing.

"Did you really think about her?" She finally asks after silence becomes too much; her tone is somewhat quiet.

I smile at how ridiculously cute she being, and move closer so that my front is pressed against her back. I've never really known a girl to get jealous over Kirstie Alley of all people, so I cant do anything but find it endearing, and the thought of her actually believing such rubbish is humor all in its own. Really, Kirstie Alley?

"No, I thought about you silly." I smile against her shoulder when I feel her relax in my embrace.

"I knew it." I can picture the look on her face right now; her eyes are closed, and a small smile is playing on her full lips.

"Yeah, I bet. So arent you gonna ask me about what I thought?"

"Hmm, no. Id rather have you show me." Something about the way she said this just sent a thrill of excitement to my nether region.

"Spencer!"

"Im sorry! Im trying to control it but I cant help it. Lets just...get off this subject...need to think about something other than sex..."

"Dead puppies?"

"Not...quite, but what else?"

"Umm, your grandmother...naked.."

"What! What the hell type of ish is that!"

"I said your grandmother naked. That should instantly turn you off, unless your just sicko..."

"Eww, stop. That heinous!"

"Well it work didnt it?"

"Yeah, but still...thats disturbing."

"Of course it is." She replies sarcastically. "Now, I dont know about you, but Im hella tired. So Im going to sleep...night bighead."

"Well wait!" She turns over slightly and gives me a questioning look. "Dont I...get a goodnight kiss?" She shakes her head in disbelief and rolls her eyes, but leans in nonetheless; its a quick, gentle peck to my forehead...nothing special.

"Happy now, bighead?"

"Yes, buttttt...what about my _other_ head?"

"Spencerrrr!" She gives me this warning look, something I've become familiar with right before her hand connects with the back of my head.

"Giggity. Night, baby-mama!" I hit her with my most biggest, brightest and cheesiest smile, and sure enough she caves in; that once murderous look on her face has turned into pure amusement.

"Night, Perv..."

A/N: Welp what'd you think? Still trying to figure out how this will all play out, but I hope you enjoyed it. And you better review...or parish under my unrelenting wrath, lmao, nah not really, but yeah...review:)


	24. Just One of Those Days

Just One of Those Days

"Madison, I just dont see the point in all this. You seriously want me to miss work for a class?" We're having one of those mornings again, where she feels the need to breathe down my neck about things that dont make sense most of the time. This time its about me going to her Lamaze class, which I've been going to faithfully, but I cant afford to go this time. Somebody has to bring in some type of income and im not jeopardizing my job for a pregnancy class.

"Of course you wouldn't. You never see the point in anything I want to do as a family." Im not facing her because Im trying to Iron my work short, but already know she pouting.

"Madison, there will be other opportunities for me go. But today is just not one of those day." I turn off the iron and turn to give her my undivided attention. " I've got priorities I..."

"You're main priority is to your family." She snaps, sending me one of her signature glares.

"Yeah, and its also to my jobs. Ya know, the places I go to everyday so I can provide for you and our baby?" I snap back at her sarcastically. "I mean what do you expect from me Madison? Im trying to..."

"-I expect you to be there for me! You're never here for me, Spencer!" She crying now and im just at a loss for words. I dont know what the hell is happening.

"Madison what are talking about? Im here...I've been here..."

"No," she shakes her head and wipes at her cheek. "You havent. You never show any type of initiative when it comes to me and the baby. I have to beg you to read these baby books," she points towards the offending items. "And you've fallen asleep at every check up I've gone to so far...so how is that being here for me?"

"Well, im sorry I work two jobs and I get tired. I didnt know it was a crime to be human. And as far as the book? Yeah, I dont read em...and im not going to because its stupid. 'Oh how will I ever get through pregnancy?'" I mock, which is a bit harsh I admit but this whole conversation is dumb. "I'll tell you how, Madison. By not reading those fucking book! They're mediocre and waste of time. Common sense is the only reference we need, not some books."

"Its not even about you reading the books, Spencer! All I want is for you to show some type of interest. Its our first baby for goodness sake! And you dont even seem excited about it anymore..."

"You know why? Because im tireeddd..."

"Im tired too, Spencer! Between heartburn, the occasional morning sickness, my feet swelling and god knows what else, Im hardly getting any sleep!"

This is getting me nowhere.

"You didnt seem too tired when you left me here the other night to hang out with Carmen and whoever else. When do I get to go out, Spencer?"

"You can go out whenever you want, Madison! Im not stopping you..."

"Seriously, Spencer? Im a fucking planet! Where the heck am Im gonna go, dancing? Or maybe I should go clubbing? Hmmm, yeah, thats seems logical, a pregnant chick in club..."

"You know what? I dont know what you want me to do. What do you want? You want me to read the book? Okay, lets read the book." I walk over to the bed, snatch up the book and plop down next to her on the bed.

_"What to expect when you're expecting."_ I say animatedly, sarcasm dripping with each word. Theres no certain page im looking for, I just start on whatever page my finger hooks on. "Hmm, _Chapter 4: Preconception Prepping For Dads-to-be. _How should I go about that! Wellllll, according to the book, I should take certain steps, one being a change in diet. Well golly-gee, why is that important? Becauseeee, a healthier diet means healthier sperm, and a better a chance to conceive. Holy cosmos Batman, I had no idea! But we dont have to worry about that now do we? Ours was a straight shot. No diet needed, right Madison?" She slowly but surely moving off the bed and wobbling towards the bathroom. "Leaving already? But im just getting to the best partttt..."

"You're a fucking ass-hole, Spencer Carlin." She says before slamming the bathroom door.

"Yeah, and you're crazy, fucking hormonal..." I dont say this outloud of course, because that'll just bring about more chaos and I definitely dont need that.

"what!" I bark into the phone, which has been persistently ringing for the past minute.

"Dude, get your dick-dick ass out here before we're late!"

"Shit, sorry Carmen. Give me sec..."

"Yeah, just make it quick.."

I grab my bag and make my way towards the basement stairs; I pause at the bottom step and debate if I should say something to Madison. I decide not to because I know shes not going to listen to reason, and im really not trying to bicker right now.

"Aww, trouble in paradise?" My shit-head of a brother replies smugly as I rummage through the fridge for a water.

"Fuck off, monistat. I've got enough shit to deal with right now so dont fucking start..."

"Whatever, tampon. Maybe Madison wouldn't have this probably if she had a real man..."

"-If I were you, I wouldn't even dream about finishing that sentence. Hey Clay..."

"Hey sis, what's up? Off to work already?" He moves past me and heads straight for the cups.

"Yeah, unlike some people," I turn my attention towards Glenn and give him a pointed look. "I have certain responsibilities. Anddd I dont wanna be a bum for the rest of my life. So, I'll catch you flip side. Seeya douche!"

I throw Glenn the middle finger before clambering out the door.

"Jeeze, bout time dirty-dick! What the hell were you doing in there?"

"Absolutely fucking nothing. Just a longggg morning.."

"Yeah, I can tell," she pulls out the drive way and begins flying down the street. "So, what's up? I know you got got something on your mind, so you might as well just tell me."

"Dont I always, Carmen?" I shake my head as she laughs.

"Yeah, so what gives?"

"I dont know, dude," I start, wiping at my face and eyes. "Im starting to lose my mind. I wake up this morning to her throwing a tantrum...and all because I have to work. Shes all bent out of shape because I cant go to her stupid Lamaze class..."

"I told you, man. And this is only the beginning. Imagine what its gonna be like when she actually has the baby..."

"I dont get it, I really dont." I start scratching at the back of my neck as I recall the way I flipped out. "I feel kind of bad though. I kinda acted like an ass to her before I left...and I didnt even say goodbye. I dont know what's happening to me...im starting to snap more..."

"-Tell me about it. You totally destroyed Karen the other day. I mean she was in tears.."

"Tch, I dont even feel bad about that. Shes annoying, clingy and definitely has the potential to be a stalker." Karen is one of my co-workers at the Marriot hotel. I guess she has a crush on me something, but im clearly not interested and she just doesnt understand that no means no. So I had to break it down for her. I told her that she was a whiney, petulant little brat, that smells like grated cheese and couldnt get the time of day with me even if she was the last skank on earth. And she honestly is a skank; shes fucked just about everyone that I work with, except for Carmen and myself. "Would you feel sorry for somebody like that?"

"Hell no!"

"Exactly."

"All im sayin is that you need to relax. Do something constructive...get high, exercise, or better yet, get fucking laid!"

"You and I both know that last part is out of the equation. More so now, since I basically said fuck you to her. Im in the dog house for sure..."

"Pssh, she'd den forgot all about it by the time you get home. You guys do this all the time..."

"I dont think so. She usually texts me back by now..."

"Dude seriously? You texted her?" She shakes her in disapprovingly. "Shes got you on fucking leash..."

"Whatever. You dont understand because you're not in love..."

"And thank god! Cause I'd kill myself if I ever become this whipped."

"Whatever man. So hows the gang...Aiden?" She gives me this pointed look before shrugging her shoulders.

"Same ol same. He hardly hangs out unless you-know-who is with us..."

"Yeah, I heard about that from Ash. She told me you seem kinda upset about it too." I joke, jabbing her in the arm. "So what's up with that? You getting all territorial over straight girls now.."

"Oh whatever," she laughs. "Its not even like that. I just think shes hot..."

"And you wanna to do the nasty."

"Shutupppp," she whines, blushing a bit as she focuses on the road.

"Just sayin.."

"I could have her if I really wanted her..." Is her arrogant reply; I just look at her like shes crazy.

"I'd like to hear you say that to Ashley..."

"She doesnt even like her for real!"

"So, doesnt mean a thing. I wouldn't even look at her if I were you...that's treading on dangerous water..."

"Whatever, I do what I want." She mocks in her Cartmen voice.

"Yeah, okay. We'll see..."

Work starts off in a very slow manner. We hardly get customers during the day, so we spend most of our time cleaning the rooms. Or at least try to clean; working with Carmen is always a difficult task because she always manages to get me to goof off.

"Hey, Spencer, your phones ringing..."

"Can you answer it for me. Ask who it is...Gotta finish up this bathroom real quick."

"Sure thing, dirty," I roll my eyes at my now nickname. "Hola..Spencer Duarte speaking..." I peek around the corner and see that shes grinning, so I flip her off which only makes her grin more.

"Hey, Ash! Yeah, shes here and she said she wants to fuck me..."

"What!" I stumble across the room and snatch the phone out of her hands. "Hello?"

"Uhh, yeah? What uh...what are you guys up to?"

"Nothing. Carmen's just being an ass. But what's up?"

"Right. Well, I was calling to see if you wanted to grab lunch with me?"

"Lunch? Yeah...sounds great. Where should I meet you?"

"Oh, oh, tell her to bring Kyla!" Carmen whispers animatedly, waving her hands and jumping up and down.

Ashley just recently found out she has a sister named kyla. Kyla moved down here in mid-july, and lets just say Ashley hasn't been to keen about the whole idea. Personally I think shes sweet, not only that but Aiden seems to have taken a liking to her and seems a bit more level headed when shes around. This is all word of mouth of course, since he still refuses to acknowledge me in any way.

"How about Olive Garden? Thinks its like fifteen minutes from there. Ask Carmen, she knows the area better than I do..."

"Will do. Oh, Carmen wants you to bring Kyla..."

"And why would I do that?" I can hear the distaste in her words.

"Cause you're being a buddy?"

"Nope, not gonna happen. Shes about five minutes away from totally making my shit list.

"Oh, boy. What'd she do now?"

"I'll tell you about in lets say...an hour?"

"Yupper, an hour...when you bring Kyla with you righhttt?" I hear her sigh into the phone, which lets me know that shes actually considering it. "Im pouting by the way..."

"Seriously, Spencer? I swear the two of you should be best friends instead. You're both a buncha brats..."

"Ohhh, I'll take that as a compliment!" I can pictures her rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

"You owe me for this..."

"No, worries. Carmen says she'll wash your car..."

"I said what!"

"Ohhh, nothing," I wave Carmen off. "So, Olive Garden in an hour...got it!" I press the end button and return to my work.

"Soooo? What'd she say?" Carmen persists. "Shes bringing her, right?"

"Yes, thirsty...shes bringing her." She fist pumps and then does some weird dance. "I honestly dont know why you're getting so excited. Ashley's not gonna let you anywhere near her sister, whether she likes her or not.."

"Yeah, we'll see. Besides, if shes straight then she has nothing to worry about..."

"So, you're really through with Alicia then?"

"Uh yeah! I told you that before...chicks got way too much baggage for me..."

"And by baggage you mean her crazy boyfriend, who threaten to kill you if you came within ten feet of her?" Its not funny but, I cant help but laugh at her.

"Its not funny man! He's fuckin nuts! And so is she. I think shes stalking me for real. I guarantee you, when we go for lunch...we'll end up bumping into her..."

_**Thirty minutes later...**_

"So, did your boo text you back yet? Its already going on twelve..."

"No, smart ass, she hasn't. Instead of worrying about mines, you need to be worrying about Ashley and what shes gonna do if you keep pushing up on her sister..."

"Man, I got this...no worries whatsoever..." We pull up into the parking lot, and I immediately spot Ashley and I cant help but smile.

"Wow, somebody's cheesin extra hard right now. And im the thirsty one? Shakin my head, shakin my head..."

"Oh shut it. Heyyyyy, Ash!" She skips over to me with her own little smile, and envelopes me into her arms.

"Careful, keep it above the waists. Dont want a _certain_ someone to blow down on you even more, do we?" I roll my eyes at Carmen as I pull back from Ashley.

I watch in amusement as Carmen glides over to Kyla, who happily gives her a hug, and of course Carmen takes the advantage. She grins and hugs her back eagerly, a little too long I must say and then pulls back, but not before she sniffs her hair discreetly. Thats a bit creepy.

"How are you?" I hear Ashley whisper; shes grins up at me and then takes my hand in hers.

"Thats a hard question to answer..."

"Oh? And why is that?" I give her a pointed look.

"I know you talk to her, Ash. You guys are always talking. Thats one of the reasons why you ask me to meet you. Otherwise you'd be out somewhere with Devon..."

"Say whatttt? Im so hurt that you would think that, bestfriend." She pouts and feigns mock hurt.

"Righhhttt. Which is why you're not denying it?"

"Exactly. Now, can we please get something in my Belly?"

"Righty-oh! We're going in, you guys coming?" I yell to Carmen and Kyla.

"Coming!" They yell in unison before making their way over to us. "What's up, Kyla?" I nod my head and open the door to the restaurant. "Hey, Spence! Where's Aiden?" She says, pulling back from the hug she just gave me and pouting. "Ashley said he was here..."

"Um," I look towards Ashley for some help but she shrugs her shoulders. "Well he had some things to take care of..."

"Yeah," Carmen interrupts, putting her arms around Kyla suggestively."No worries though. I'll keep you company.."

"Um, okay. So does that mean you'll buy me lunch too?" Kyla looks up at Carmen through lidded eyes, and all I think is that im not the only sucker for love around here.

"Sure thing, babe. You can have whatever you want." She smiles wickedly at her double meaning, but soon falters when shes sees the glare pointed her way by Ashley.

"Come on, Ash. Lets get in line...only get an hour for lunch ya know..." She reluctantly complies; we order our food and settle into our booth.

"So, what'd she say?" I ask, getting her attention which is aimed solely on Carmen, who is obviously flirting with no shame.

"Well, she sounded really upset when she called. I honestly couldnt really understand her half the time because she was crying and started talking in spanish.."

"Wow. Yeah, shes pretty upset huh?" Guilt sets in at her admission.

"Yeah, she called you a selfish dick-head and an ass. I asked her what happened and she said that you never take any interest in her or the baby."

"Okay, now shes just being unreasonable. The whole thing started because I told I couldnt make it to her Lamaze class...ONE CLASS! She doesnt understand that im tryna help lay down a foundation for our future. You tell me what's more important, money or class?"

"Spencer, I get what you're saying. I really do, but you gotta understand that shes hormonal, lonely and things are happening to her body that she doesnt fully understand. This is you're first...and she wants to fully experience it with you..."

"And I do too, but the reality of the situation is that im probably not gonna be able to be there all the time. Im tryna make things happen for us, and it just seems like no matter what i do, I always end up being the bad guy. I gets no slack whatsoever..."

She smiles, shakes her head and then begins digging into her salad. "Spencer, sweetie. You're always gonna be the bad guy right now. Its a given...it comes with the territory. She right and you're always gonna be wrong even when you're right...and not fair but thats the way things are right now. So, if she ask you to read a book, read the book!"

"Yeah, I hear you, but am I the only one getting grilled today?"

"Nooo, you're not. I gave her a piece of my mind too. Told her that she needs to tone down the hormonal levels, cut you some slack and try to understand that you're tryna be the best 'man' right now..."

"Well thats a relief, I guess. So, its safe to assume that im good right?"

"Oh no, you definitely have some serious making up to do. To her and me, since im the one going to her Lamaze class at two..."

"Guess I do owe you one, huh? I appreciate it, Ash...really."

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbles in between bites. "You know this isnt the real reason why she upset right? Well, it is but not really.."

"What do you mean?"

"What's happening next Wednesday?" I look at her confusedly. "Oh my gosh. Really, Spencer? Its her ultrasound..."

"Okayyyy," I gesture for her to continue.

"THE ULTRASOUND? Ya know, the one where she finds out what shes having...?"

I let this information sink in for a moment, and then literally slap myself for being an ass. How could I have forgotten?

"Crap..."

"Yeah, crap. She thinks that since you bailed on the class, you might bail on the ultrasound..."

"Thats two totally different things..."

"True, but clearly she was right in her assumption. I mean, you already forgot about it, so whose to say that you wont bail..?"

"Im not bailing out! It just slipped my mind is all." Shes giving me this funny look. "What? Im not gonna bail, I swear. Do you realize how important that is?"

"Do you?"

"Man, dirty, you just keep digging that hole even deeper, huh?"

"Tell me about it. Im fucked. Im gonna be in the dog house for like a year!" I hide my face in my hands and then tug at my hair. "Im such an ass. What am I gonna do? She not gonna listen to me, I know her. Shes gonna ignore me for like a week straight..."

"Look, I'll talk to her. Get her to try to listen to you, but theres no guarantee with Madison...you're gonna have to figure out the rest for yourself.

"I know. And thanks again, Ash."

"No prob...its what I do best apparently..."

"Hey, um...why do they call you dirty or dirty-dick?" Suddenly theres a fat ass elephant in the room; can you say awkward?

"Uh, erm well," Carmen tries to begin but is obviously at a loss of words, and shes not the only one. "Its...kind of a really bad _inside_ type of thing...its a long, wrong, story...and just one those things you just dont talk bout. At least not unless certain _people _feel like they need to..." All eyes are on me and Ash, and lets just say that we're both pretty uncomfortable right now.

I mean, I know she said she forgave me, but deep down I know that theirs just somethings that will never truly be forgiven. What I put her through is one of those things.

"Kyla, maybe I'll tell you oneday, but right now just isnt the time."

"Um, okay, Ash." She hesitantly goes back to her food, while the rest of us sit their in awkward silence.

"Well, schools starts in like three weeks. You guys looking forward to it?" Carmen suddenly changes the subject, relieving the table of its slight awkwardness.

"Uh, yeah. I guess I am...though I have a feeling things are gonna be so hectic now. Madison and I have been talking about maybe doing school all year round so that we can graduate earlier..."

"You sure about, Spence?" Ashley ask curiously. " I mean you're already working two jobs...how are you gonna juggle that, school and the baby?"

"We'll im just gonna have to quit one of my jobs. Its not like im making much anyway...im minimum wage. All together my checks are like maybe four something every two weeks. I've saved up about three thousand..."

"Thats not too bad, considering you've only been working for like two months.."

"Yeah, but is hardly enough, Ash. We still gotta get a car, stuff for the baby..."

"Relax, Spencer. I wouldn't even worry about the baby stuff right now. Thats what baby showers are for. Between, me, Chelsea, Carmen your parents, and her friends, im pretty sure you'll get everything you need..."

"Yeah, but my parents are already doing way too much. My moms been spending most of her time taking care of Madison while im at work and when shes off. You should see my room. She just started painting it for the baby..."

"They help because they love you and they're excited.."

"-Yeah, I wouldn't worry too much about that stuff, Spence. And as far as money goes? Well, I've been talking to my cousin, ya know the one who own his own landscaping company?"

"Yeah, you mentioned him awhile back..."

"Yeah, its legit and he's looking for some hard workers. Business is been booming. He's doing jobs everyday that pay at least three to five hundred and theirs only like three of em, including himself."

"Well, how come you're not working there?"

"Uhhh, probably because im lazy as hell?" She says simply as she gives me a strange look. "Im just sayin, if I put you on...thats like a hundred buck guaranteed each day. One hundred times seven is what? Seven hundred bucks a week! Not every two weeks but every week! What other job could you need?"

"It does sound pretty good, Spencer. I say go for it.."

"Yeah, listen to Ashley, Spencer...you can never go wrong.."

"And you're positive about this, Carmen? Its safe and totally legit...cause I dont need anymore bullshit..."

"Hey, hey. Have I ever steered you wrong before? Its the real deal, I swear. I'll put in a good word for you and you can think about it..."

"But wait. Im gonna be in school from eight to two..."

"Oh, trust me. They'll still be working at two. My family grinds...they'll work til sundown."

"Yeah, but I still gotta find time to study in between.."

" You dont have to work everyday. As long as you do weekends and a few during the week, you're pockets and your sanity should be fine. I'll even drop you off if you need me to..."

"Yeah, and I dont mind occasionally helping out with homework." Ashley adds with a smile.

"I honestly dont know what I'd do without you guys right now..."

"Eww. Please stop cheesin like that. You look really special..." Im about to reply to Carmen remark, but someone familiar catches my attention."

"Dude, dont look back.."

"What? Why" And of course Carmen does the opposite of what I just said; luckily for her, her little stalker didnt see her. Though im pretty sure she knows shes here.

"Dude, seriously? I told you, didnt I tell you she was on stalker mode? No, nuh uh...we gotta get out of here and NOW!"

"Alright, relax...I'll um, distract her and you sneek out the other way." Carmen nods in agreement and awaits for me to take the lead.

"Um, who are we hiding from again?" I hear Kyla say before Carmen shushes her."Alright Carmen, she looking around andddd she spotted me," Carmen ducks her head and slide between the table and seat; Kyla's so confused that she just follows her lead. "Okay, me and Ash are about to stand up. And when we do, I want you to use that opening as your chance...got it?"

"Got it. On the count of three. One," I wave towards Alicia, effectively getting her attention; She walking towards us now. "Two," we stand to meet her halfway. "Three," we're in front of her, giving our pleasantries and making idle chatter. She asking about Carmen, wondering if I talked or seen her today. I say not today and she frowns.

"They're gone." I hear Ashley whisper beside me.

"Well, it was nice seeing you, Alicia. We should catch up real soon and I'll be sure to let Carmen know I ran into you..."

"Um, yeah. Tell her to call me if you can..."

"Sure thing. Later!" She moves to the door and we follow; we stand by the entrance talking nonsense and watching as she climbs into her truck. She pauses for a moment and looks over to where we're parked, or more specifically where Carmen's Focus is parked, then hesitantly waves goodbye to us again before driving off.

"Wow, thats deep.."

"Right though," I say in disbelief. "Thats beyond deep..."

"-Is she gone yet!" Carmen whisper/yells from her back seat.

"Yeah, shes gone. Thats some really off the radar type shit by the way..."

"Who the hell are you tellin! Im the one getting stalked. Totally fucked up the rest of my day...lets just get out of here before she decides to come back..." Shes already opening the door to the drivers seat, so I know shes not playing.

"Yeah, you guys should probably go. Pretty sure your lunch break was over like twenty minutes ago.." Ash replies before giving me a goodbye hug, and Kyla soon follows suit.

"Pssh, like I care. We always do this..."

"Well, wait. Dont I get a goodbye, Kyla?" I shake my head; I dont even have to look at her to see that shes pouting and giving her the puppy dog eyes.

"Aww, im sorry, friend." I snicker at the word friend, and happily accept Carmen's middle finger. "There," kyla places a small peck to her left cheek, and lets just say that Carmen is grinning like the grinch right now...perv. "Is that better?"

"Oh, yes it issss. Much, much better..."

"Oh brother. Kyla lets go before something nabs your panties. I'll text you later, Spencer..."

"Kay. Seeya, Kyla! Later, Ash..."

**Ashley Pov: Lamaze class**

"And breathe in...and then release..." I honestly feel a bit out of place with Madison sitting in between my legs, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. It just seems like an intimate type of thing that should be shared with her better half.

"I talk to your hubby earlier..." I say as I exhale slowly.

"And what hubby are you referring to. Because as far as im concerned, I have no hubby...and if I did, I'd be sitting between their legs and not yours!" She snaps matter-of factly, earning a few questioning looks from her fellow peers.

Wow, that was unexpected.

"Uh yeahhh. Are you calm now...just relax..breathe."

"Sorry, im just...I dont know what's wrong with me.."

"You're pregnant, thats what's wrong with you.."

"Thanks for coming with me by the way. I really appreciate it. I have no idea what id do without you.."

"Been getting that alot today." I chuckle to myself.

"Soo, what uh...what did you say?"

"I basically told her that she was being an ass." I see her smile at this as peer at her from the side. "I also told her that you both are being selfish," her smiles falter at this. "And I agreed that you're being pretty unreasonable about certain things..."

"Certain things like what?"

"Like the fact that Spencers trying her hardest. Shes working to make things right for you guys..."

"But.."

"-And yes, I realize that shes slipping a bit, but shes trying, Madison. Which means you need to try too. Its not all about you. Have you actually really looked at her lately?"

She shrugs her shoulders and then sags them a bit.

"She tired, Madison. Its clearly written on her face. When's the last time you did something special for her?"

"Special like what?"

"Anything, really. You could cook for her, give her a message, write her something...anything to show that shes appreciated. Because right now, shes not really feeling that. And neither are you, right?" She shakes her head yes and bites her lip; I rub her stomach soothingly as she tries to hold herself together.

"Look, im not saying this to make you feel bad or anything. I just think that theres alot of miscommunication and things you guys need to work out...together."

"I know," she sniffs. "I dont wanna lose her..."

"You're not gonna lose her, Madison. Especially over something so little. Trust me, shes hooked...you just gotta understand that she cant be under you twenty-four seven. I think a little space now and then will do both of you some good."

"Yeah, you're right. But what am I gonna do while shes at work?"

"Well, me and you can hang out.."

"What about Devin? I dont wanna impose..."

"-Nonsense. Devins cool, she'll understand. Shes mostly at soccer camp nowadays..."

"I guess its set then." She smiles brightly and places her hands atop of my own, which are laying flat against her protruding belly. "Do you think...she'll come to the ultrasound?" She looks at me with hopeful eyes.

"Pssh, are you kidding me? She wouldn't miss it for anything.."

"But she works that day.."

"-Oh my god, Madison," I laugh, shaking my head as she eyes me strangely. "Will you please stop with the buts? She'll be there...dont worry. And if you dont believe my word, then ask her yourself..."

"Yeah, I guess..."

"-Okay, class. We're gonna take a a twenty minute break then do a few more exercises..."

"Can you help me up? I have to go pee." I stand so that I can help her to her feet and then watch as she wobbles to the bathroom; I laugh at how much she reminds me of a penguin.

My attention is now drawn to my phone, which is now vibrating in my hand, letting me know I have a text.

_*Hey, im Spencer and im awesome!* So how goes it?_

_*Tainted Wings* It "goes" fine, lol. Im the Lamaze class with ur boo. She seems pretty open minded about the situation. I thru the bait, now u jus gotta reel her in._

_*Hey, im Spencer and im awesome!* Sweeeet:) Think I got an Idea. Where is she now?_

_*Tainted Wings* In the bathroom..._

_*Hey, im Spencer and im awesome!* Ok, so I get off 6, think you can keep her occupied til about 7:30ish?_

_"Tainted Wings* Sure thing, but ur dept seems to b racking up, lol._

_*Hey, im Spencer and im awesome!* yea yea, smh. So u never did tell me what kyla did to u today..._

_*Tainted Wings* Oooo, nothin really...jus woke up is all:D_

I grin wickedly at my childish reply.

_*Hey, im Spencer and im awesome_!* _Ooooo wowwww, smh, thats mature, lol._

_*Tainted Wings* I kno;) Now get back 2 work slacker!_

_*Hey, im Spencer and im awesome!* Smh, dont wanna, but since u said it so nicely...laters:)_

_Madison pov:7:30pm_

I walk into a very quiet house after a very long, unexpected but fun day. For the past few hours Ashley and myself have occupied ourselves at the mall, where we spent two hours window shopping for baby clothes. She thought I needed to feel sexy so she forced me into victoria secret and made me pick out some gifts for myself and ultimately for Spencer. Its hard to feel sexy and wanted when you're bloated and always feel so swollen, but fortunately and unfortunately for me, Ashley spent the entire time drilling the concept into my head.

After shopping we ate for like the third time and then went to the movies to see Harry Potter and the death seekers or some crap like that.

The day was fun but my feet are killing me. I walk into a dimly lit kitchen, pull out a water and then wobble towards the basement. The first thing I notice is the smell; a combination jasmine and cinnamon which seems to get stronger as I continue downward.

The other thing I notice is the small trail of petals lining the rug that seem to lead from the bed to the bathroom.

My phone buzzes with a text that specifically tells me to get undressed and head to the bathroom. Im a bit skeptical about what she planning but I comply.

I strip in the bathroom and inhale the strong scent of jasmine, which seems to be emanating from the bathtub.

"Its your favorite right?" I jump at the familiar voice coming from behind me. I turn and im greeted by Spencer, who is leaning against the bathrooms threshold in a beater and boxers. She smiles and eyes me up and down curiously; its not in a lustful or perverted way, but its pretty intense.

I suddenly realize that im standing in the nude, and quickly try to cover myself while an unmistakable blush makes it way to my cheeks; I turn my head away in embarrassment.

"You dont have to hide from me, Madison." I tense as she moves forward and slowly grasp my hands. She guides me towards the tub and carefully help me step in; the water immediately makes me relax.

She moves to the the side of the tub, reaches into the water and grabs my right leg. She gently begins to message it, starting mid-thigh and slowly works her way lower until she reaches my feet.

I close my eyes at the intensity of her gaze, sink lower into the tub and allow my body to relax at the new sensation im feeling. I feel her eyes on me now,studying, and more than likely trying to figure out what im thinking.

"You dont have to run from me, Madison.." She repeats, forcing me to look at her once again; she knows me all to well. I hate the way she stares at me sometimes because its just way too intense; Its like shes staring right through me. My face could be completely void of any emotion but she'd still be able to tell how I feel. So when she does that, stares through me, I close my eyes and hide from her.

"Im not running, " I lie, turning my head away yet again. She gently places my foot back into the water, and then I watch her walk to the other side where she reaches for my other foot; she gives it the same attention as the other one.

"You are...and I dont blame you..." Her eyes focus on the task at hand as she says this. "I've been a complete ass lately. I've been neglectful and a bit selfish..." Her eyes flicker towards my own again. "I said some things today, mostly out of frustration, that may of hurt you. And Im sorry for that. Im sorry for making you feel unwanted or unloved. You should never feel that way...because the reality of the situation is that I love you oh so dearly..."

My stomach begins to flutter at her confession, and im tryna hold my hold myself together but these damn hormones are making it quite difficult.

"I love you," she repeats again, making the butterflies in my stomach intensify. "Its taken me awhile to work up enough courage to tell you this, and its partly because I was afraid of admitting it to myself. I mean yeah, I practically already knew how I felt for a while but to actually say it...to completely give myself over to you scared the shit out of me. I love you more than, Madison...so these little argument are irrelevant to me. We're gonna argue, and it may seem like its gonna push us apart, but its just make me love you even more."

I find that im wiping at my face more frequently now, since my tears are freely falling

"You drive me insane sometimes, Madison Duarte. But..," she stops mid-sentence and shakes her head what seems to be amusement. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Its quiet, aside from the sound of me occasionally sniffing; its not an uncomfortable silence...its just quiet.

"Im still mad at you.." Is my hushed reply. I turn my head to the side, and fold my arms across my chest. I can see her smiling at my obvious stubbornness from the corner of my eye.

"I know..."

"But...I love you too," I turn my head and stare her straight in the eyes as I say this. "Very much so."

A roll my eyes at her as a huge grin stretches across her face.

"I wonder how long it took you to come up with that speech...and memorize it." I give her an all knowing look, to which she shrugs in return.

"Its sound far-fetched, but...I cant possibly memorize something that came from the heart. Thats all me babe, so take it or leave it." She replies arrogantly as she continuously leans forward, until shes practically invading my personal space. The look on her face is daring; it entices me and draws me closer.

"I'll gladly take it." I wrap my arms around her neck, pulling her closer to me and kiss her soundly.

"I'll do better and be better for you, m'kay?" She whispers against my lips; the only response she gets is the feel of my lips upon hers.

**A/N: Alright, for those who are wondering, no they didnt have sex after this...they just cuddled:) The inspiration for this chapter came from my sister, who was recently pregnant and basically put her husband through hell. I swear the chick was semi-bipolar during her pregnancy because one minutes she was all happy and then the next she flips out. Smh, love her to death but shes was intolerable. Anyways, hope you and enjoyed and I'll try to update soon. I want some reviews too!**

**-Oh and for the last time, im fully aware of how serious rape is. I've never been a victim of it, but I know people who have, so I take it very seriously. This is just a story, its not based off any true life events, and im not forcing anyone to read this. So if it offends you then dont read it.**


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